Tealeaf
Well-known member
Can those of us who struggle socially still succeed even if we're not well above-average in intelligence to compensate? I often worry I won't.
Even more than a lifetime of solitude, I'm afraid of a lifetime of failure and winding up poor, dependent on an ailing parent, and having worked in vain for years to obtain a degree or certifications that I'll never use. Afraid that no matter how hard I study, I will never be seen as a desirable employee in my new field - which is supposed to turn things around - for the same reasons that I have no friends, professional contacts I was personally introduced and recommended to don't return my e-mails, and online friends avoid me after meeting me in-person.
I'm not a misanthropic person. I don't think other people are boring. I don't talk over people. I don't openly criticize them, at least not offline. I don't refuse to say hello when I see people in passing. I've never been in a confrontation at my current workplace in a year and a half, even while my coworker has. I've spent many years improving my social skills and reading already in the hopes of gaining some traction, but now I'm more worried that I'm simply trapped from birth and all this work is just a way to fool myself that I'm not.
I have an eye for detail and care deeply about the work that I do, but I worry that won't be enough when there are people out there likable enough to have friends, people everyone wants to talk to, and many who could light up a workplace. Some of those are smart and competent, too. Why hire the eccentric one that no one will even have lunch with, especially once I'm in my 30's or 40's?
I don't even believe I'm capable of making others feel good, whether I want to or not. If I were, I wouldn't be out in the cold like an unwanted dog.
Even more than a lifetime of solitude, I'm afraid of a lifetime of failure and winding up poor, dependent on an ailing parent, and having worked in vain for years to obtain a degree or certifications that I'll never use. Afraid that no matter how hard I study, I will never be seen as a desirable employee in my new field - which is supposed to turn things around - for the same reasons that I have no friends, professional contacts I was personally introduced and recommended to don't return my e-mails, and online friends avoid me after meeting me in-person.
I'm not a misanthropic person. I don't think other people are boring. I don't talk over people. I don't openly criticize them, at least not offline. I don't refuse to say hello when I see people in passing. I've never been in a confrontation at my current workplace in a year and a half, even while my coworker has. I've spent many years improving my social skills and reading already in the hopes of gaining some traction, but now I'm more worried that I'm simply trapped from birth and all this work is just a way to fool myself that I'm not.
I have an eye for detail and care deeply about the work that I do, but I worry that won't be enough when there are people out there likable enough to have friends, people everyone wants to talk to, and many who could light up a workplace. Some of those are smart and competent, too. Why hire the eccentric one that no one will even have lunch with, especially once I'm in my 30's or 40's?
I don't even believe I'm capable of making others feel good, whether I want to or not. If I were, I wouldn't be out in the cold like an unwanted dog.