Its strange

[Jetiku]

When I was a kid I would hide behind the couch and play with my toys alone. As a teenager I would lock myself away from the world in my room and never had any desire to be around anyone. Lately Ive just felt so empty. I dont know if Im lonely or what it is. I never used to want people around. Why would that change? I have friends, I just dont go around them. Ive tried different things and I dont know what will make these feelings go away. Then to make it worse Ive enjoyed cannabis use since I was 14 but now in my 20's if I smoke I am overwhelmed by this negative feeling. It seems to be anxiety attacks from what Ive read. Ive never suffered from anxiety before. Im so confused about whats happening to me. I dont know what will make it better or what will fix it. I dont talk to people about it cause I dont want to be seen as emo. Im not choosing to feel this way. Ive always been a loner and thats how I liked it. Why am I feeling so down lately?

 

[lingo]

hmm. . . Probably, it's just syndrome of 20's because I felt like that before too.
At that time, I remember that I asked my friends out for fun and made myself busy.
It works for me. The emptiness just went away.

 

[Bluey]

You may think you like to be alone but then you have to ask yourself where this negative feelings are coming from.

You come across as a little lost in the world and where you are at in it. This is OK to be like this though. Sometime we have to get lost in order to find our self.

Its not emo to talk about our feelings. Normally you would have a good friend or two to share this feelings with.

Maybe you have some things that's bothering you that you don't think is bothering you. Its amazing how the brain works. It can hide things from us. I would say from your one post that you may benefit from going to talk to a psychiatrist about this things.

Everyone in the world needs to talk about there feelings. Its just how you do that. A lot of the time I do it in my hummer. This dose not always work and sometimes I have to talk in a non joking way to make things moor clear to myself. When this happens its important I have a good friend that well listen. Ive not always had that and mostly in the last few years have used this place to get stuff out of my head that I have felt I needed to deal with.

Sometime what is obverse to someone else about our life is not so obverse to us. Manly cos other ppl can look from a distance where we can not when it comes to our own life. No one is an island and we all need help from time to time. I would also say that you could do with being moor open with friends.

Also, welcome here

 

[Jetiku]

I was considering if its because Im single. Before puberty I never really relied on anyone to get my feelings out and I was used to it. Then from 15-19/20 I was in relationships where I kinda said everything I felt daily to whoever I was dating. Now I dont have a female to share my thoughts with... and Im not in any way homophobic but Ive never cared too much about having male friends. My friends are great and all but emotionally I dont feel really any attachment. Maybe I became dependent on my relationships for emotional fulfillment and now Im having a hard time dealing with not having that. At the same time I have alot of reservations about getting involved in any new relationships so thats hindering back from just finding someone to through my feelings on. I dont really know. I try getting psychoanalytical on myself but still dont have any idea whats going on in my head and why Im experiencing this.

 

[Bluey]

I think you just answered your own question This is kinder what most ppl here end up doing and myself included.

I have mates that I would never talk about emotional stuff to. manly cos I don't think they would understand.

I do think its easier to talk to a girl about stuff like this aspeshaly when your both hugged up lovey-dovey together.

I am the sort of guy that would hug a Friend even if it was another guy. But I hear what your saying. I do have friends like you that would not feel very comfortable in talking like that. I never used to be so open about how I feel. Now days though if something is bothering me I say. I have learnt that to be open about how you feel no matter how GAY it might seem is the best way for me to be.

I feel emotional attachment to the friends I have. Just cos I have emotional attachment doesn't mean I wont to be jumping into bed with them though. I think you have to first find good friends to feel any kind of attachment. That is the most difficult bit. To find good friends that is.

The way I see it is a good friend would wont to listen and to try and help in anyway he could. I am guessing that you would feel uncomfortable if a friend come to you and started puring he's hart out to you? I think its this train of thought you have to change. It is OK for two guys to have an emoshnal discussion. And why them two guys are probably not going to tell the rest of the world that they are close enough to had done that it dose happen a lot moor then you think. Most guys well have girlfriends come and go be for they find the one. You well have a few friends hopefully that well had stayed with you all your life. Its them friends that normally pick up the Peace's for you when things are looking a bit grim in your love life.

I mean you have to unload the emosional crap that gets into your head somewhere. If you can not do that with a friend then where else can you? The emosional stuff might even be from a girl your with at any given time. Its normal to go to a friend and say something like she is doing my head in cos...blar...blar...blar. And when you do this dose she do that act. You know stuff that's privet that you need to talk about. If you feel weird talking to your friends like this then you ether do not have the right kinder friends or you have a problem with in your self that needs addressing. It dose show I think insecurities about yourself when you can not even be honest with your closest friends. Of course if your say under 25 then it just could be that your young. And like most young men don't wont to come across as weak.

I still think a good old talk with someone like a psychiatrist might do you a lot of good to realize where your at. I think you would walk away from as little as one or two settings knowing a lot moor about yourself I say one or two cos you already seem to know yourself quite well. You just seem to need for someone to confirm what you already know This is what a good friend would do. A psychiatrist may make you see that you already have that support network there, just that your not yet using it.

 

[Estreen]

When I was a kid I would hide behind the couch and play with my toys alone. As a teenager I would lock myself away from the world in my room and never had any desire to be around anyone. Lately Ive just felt so empty. I dont know if Im lonely or what it is. I never used to want people around. Why would that change? I have friends, I just dont go around them. Ive tried different things and I dont know what will make these feelings go away. Then to make it worse Ive enjoyed cannabis use since I was 14 but now in my 20's if I smoke I am overwhelmed by this negative feeling. It seems to be anxiety attacks from what Ive read. Ive never suffered from anxiety before. Im so confused about whats happening to me. I dont know what will make it better or what will fix it. I dont talk to people about it cause I dont want to be seen as emo. Im not choosing to feel this way. Ive always been a loner and thats how I liked it. Why am I feeling so down lately?

I can really relate to everything you pretty much said. I used to love my solitude, and didn't need others to entertain myself or have fun. I would often be found either in the corner with my nose in a book or locked away in my room with the stereo on, daydreaming or playing video games or something by myself, but I noticed when I got older...I think it started in my second half of high school...I started to want more friends/acquaintances, I wanted to gradually be around people more, I started to feel a need to present myself better to others and it's grown since then. My mother's been stumped/surprised too when I started telling her that I sorta longed to be around others more.

The way I see it, I've just "grown out" of wanting to be by myself. I don't know what's caused it. Maybe it's because I'm older (I'm 21 now), or hormones, or whatever, but I'm not like how I used to be. And yes, I get worried about coming off as emo and whiny, so oftentimes I'll try to hold back as much as I can. I'm open, and I do try to talk about things that I know I need to get out, but I don't let myself drag on as much as I used to about it.

Also, I recently started getting anxiety/panic attacks, since this past late November, due to a choking incident. After my first one, I think the rest of them were pretty much caused by a subconscious fear of having another. Eventually it led me to the Emergency Room where I was officially diagnosed with anxiety in December. I've been doing better since then but still get uneasy and wary of an impending attack at times.

Anyway, I don't know if that helps much, but I just thought I'd share that I can relate to how you feel and where you are in life and maybe you'll find something in all my babbling that might help you feel better.

 

[NY8752]

Hey

What your feeling is completely normal. I too used to be comfortable just being alone by myself, but as we grow older we tend to realize that people move away and start to go on with their own lives. There are times when one definitely needs their own space, to think or do whatever, but just like those around us who are going on we must too also. It is hard to do obviously, and it takes some guts to get out there. To relate to others is not easy, especially forging new bonds with people who you want to connect with or even reconnect with. All I can tell you is that sometimes you have to take a chance in opening yourself up, you can only let loose so much by yourself and sometimes you just need to know that someone else is on the other end of the line, in front of a computer, or even sitting right next to you hearing what you have to say. Relationship wise it is hard because you tend to expect more from the person both emotionally, physically, and mentally. We are all here for you on this site and there are plenty of people out there who want to hear your story, of what is bothering you and with really no strings attached. You don't need to be in a loving relationship to share yourself, like Bluey said in a way "just because there is an emotional attachment doesn't mean you need to get into bed with the person." Who ever you choose to talk to male/female, virtual or otherwise you will find that just expressing yourself does a great deal. I can tell you on a personal level, that since the past few days that I've logged onto this site, merely replying to someone asking "how are you doing today" feels great. I think some how I know in the back of my mind that people have actually read what I have written, have taken it in, and even in some instances replied to it. I hope that you can feel a little less lonely here and know that people support you.

 

[Jetiku]

Thank you all for your replies. Ive read through them all and have been considering whats going on in my head. Now I have another problem I didnt realize was happening till just this morning. Im going make a post on it and see what everyone thinks. I really appreciate the help youve all offered.