Ive always been an outcast

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Fvantom

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I still feel like I am honestly. I have "friends" but none of them actually care much about me as a friend, Im constantly having to hear about them out having fun every weekend, yet nobody ever asks me to do anything, even when I ask them, they always have plans or are too busy. Ive never had people actually want to be around me or be excited to see me, Ive never had people supporting me actively, hell, I dont even remember the last time someone asked me how I was or in any way cared about my existence....I cant take this anymore
 
I can sympathise with a lot of what you say, not being appreciated or acknowledged can make us feel invisible to the point where we don’t feel like we exist, we question our self-worth and doubt the importance of ever doing anything. Like you I’ve never had people want to be around me; I actually hate hearing my name being mentioned at work because it’s always said with a sigh like somehow it’s associated with sad or negative emotions which is frustrating because I try so hard to make friends and look out for people. Once people start treating you like that it’s hard for them to change.

Yes being an outsider can be incredibly lonely, I know exactly how you feel but Bill Hicks once said "I get a kick out of being an outsider constantly. It allows me to be creative" and it reminds me that as an outsider I don’t have to abide by the nonsense that dictates the lives of others.

 
I'm sorry, but these dudes sound more of a bunch of ******** then they are "Friends". Don't blame yourself. To Hell with them. You deserve better. You have the right to be happy.

Try focusing on how good of a person you are. People will pick up on that. Don't let this situation cause you to become bitter. The more you respect yourself, the more others will respect you.

I wish you in all sincerity, nothing but the best of success in making friends who will care about you.
 
thanks :3

Thats the problem though, these people arent ********, they just view me as an acquaintance when all I want from them is actual friendship, if it was as black and white as them being complete jerks, Id be out of there and wouldnt be bothered by it.
 
It can be hard approaching people in the efforts to make friends. I suggest that you offer one of them or all to go out for a coffee, movie, or sporting event, etc. It does feel awkward doing so, but you can't rely on others to approach you in friendship. If you are aware of some of their interests, consider discussing their interests with them.:)
 
I do, they always cancel, theyre only 18 and still live with family but they hardly ever can get organized, Im not sure whether to keep pursuing or not.
 
I feel your pain. I would have to agree with lonekiller, these people aren't your friends. If they were, they would prob. use you.

You do deserve better and you deserve to be happy with people who do want to spend time with you and truly care about you.

If you decide not pursue, remember it's their loss.
 
I don't think of you as a nobody. You are one of the people whose threads I always click on as I find you a very interesting and deep thinking person.
Your friends sound thoughtless and lacking in consideration towards you, though at the same time they are still very young.
It might be best if you were to look for some new friends.
 
Tiina63 said:
I don't think of you as a nobody. You are one of the people whose threads I always click on as I find you a very interesting and deep thinking person.
Your friends sound thoughtless and lacking in consideration towards you, though at the same time they are still very young.
It might be best if you were to look for some new friends.

+1
 
Fvantom said:
I do, they always cancel, theyre only 18 and still live with family but they hardly ever can get organized, Im not sure whether to keep pursuing or not.

My mates were like this for as long period.

Never up for doing anything good whilst i wanted to with having a job and the money that comes with it.

Eventually they pulled out of it and we go up and down the country doing all sorts.

Sometimes putting them on hold works ;)
 
Fvantom said:
I still feel like I am honestly. I have "friends" but none of them actually care much about me as a friend, Im constantly having to hear about them out having fun every weekend, yet nobody ever asks me to do anything, even when I ask them, they always have plans or are too busy.

I noticed down thread you said these people aren't ******** and that you really do want to be friends with them... can you say why? That's not meant as a bitchy question at all. I just wonder if you can describe what it is about them that makes you want to keep trying to be their friend if they don't (apparently) make an effort.
 
LostInTheSupermarket said:
Fvantom said:
I still feel like I am honestly. I have "friends" but none of them actually care much about me as a friend, Im constantly having to hear about them out having fun every weekend, yet nobody ever asks me to do anything, even when I ask them, they always have plans or are too busy.

I noticed down thread you said these people aren't ******** and that you really do want to be friends with them... can you say why? That's not meant as a bitchy question at all. I just wonder if you can describe what it is about them that makes you want to keep trying to be their friend if they don't (apparently) make an effort.

theyre all pretty good people, and the times I actually do hang out with them I usually have a pretty good time. I think of a few reasons they dont make the effort, like they may not understand that I want a close friendship with them, but sometimes I feel like Im not worth it, I honestly get the feeling that I dont deserve anythying more than simple acquaintances.
 
Fvantom said:
theyre all pretty good people, and the times I actually do hang out with them I usually have a pretty good time. I think of a few reasons they dont make the effort, like they may not understand that I want a close friendship with them, but sometimes I feel like Im not worth it, I honestly get the feeling that I dont deserve anythying more than simple acquaintances.

First of all, everyone deserves to have real friends. So you can stop wondering that about yourself. Really. Right now. Okay... have you stopped? :)
As for them not realizing it, I'm not sure what sort of plans you've tried to make with them up to now. Are you usually trying to organize a group instead of some one-on-one things with them, where you could get to know some of them better?
 
LostInTheSupermarket said:
Fvantom said:
theyre all pretty good people, and the times I actually do hang out with them I usually have a pretty good time. I think of a few reasons they dont make the effort, like they may not understand that I want a close friendship with them, but sometimes I feel like Im not worth it, I honestly get the feeling that I dont deserve anythying more than simple acquaintances.

First of all, everyone deserves to have real friends. So you can stop wondering that about yourself. Really. Right now. Okay... have you stopped? :)
As for them not realizing it, I'm not sure what sort of plans you've tried to make with them up to now. Are you usually trying to organize a group instead of some one-on-one things with them, where you could get to know some of them better?

its just a thought that pops up in my head from time to time, after years of people just treating me like Im not worth it.

For the record Im talking of various people, all around the same age, (18-20) some individuals, some groups, and Ive tried to organize small groups before, as well as individuals, but even then, no matter who I hang out with, it always goes the same way, after a long time of trying, I finally get a day to hang out with someone or with a group, I have a good time, then they never talk to me again, until I try starting something up.

And of course, I cant have any of these people on my facebook because Im constantly having to read about them hanging out and honeysuckle, nobody ever tells me, like the burdens somehow on me to chase after them and jump through all these hoops.
 

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