I've been an idiot...get me outta here!!!

[Nocebo]

I've been on and off here moaning about my marriage and wanting to go. I take the plunge and I'm now gone and happier for it!

Trouble now is that I can't get out of the domestic situation. Until I can find somewhere, the kids and I are pretty stuck!

Ex has out me in a bad financial decision. I misplaced my trust and although I regret it now. I can't do much to change it!

I have ccjs I never knew about, and no savings at all. Private renting is going to be very tricky! Not impossible - but tricky! Plus, iv been a stay at home mum for almost 12 years (three kids) so I don't work. Even though iv been looking for something that is both local enough and fits in with school hours.

I'm trying to get myself onto the council housing list...it's taking time! I need references and allsorts. Again, not impossible. Just stressful!

Ontop of all of te googling, ringing around, form filling and kids questioning why I'm sleeping on the sofa these days...I'm trying to pass my driving test! I just HAVE to!

Then I can live in a car! (No, not really)

Ex has spent the past 5 days solid in bed, everyone has been ill and I'm not complaining about dealing with EVERYTHING by myself, but surely he should still be chipping in somewhere!!!!

The kids havnt even asked where he is, why he's upstairs on the new play station he's just bought or anything.

I want to get out of the house now! He can do what he wants when we've gone! Surely this isn't me asking too much here???

I'm dreading Christmas, I'm dreading tomorrow. I want to pack! I've even started sorting out the loft already! So I can go, go, go as soon as something comes up.

Rant over. I know that time is the answer. It just feels like I'm hitting dead ends all of the time. All put there by him in the first place!!!!!

 

[nerdygirl]

I'm a bit confused. If you're not working and he isn't chipping in, who's paying for the electric, water, etc? What's a ccjs? Do you have any family that can help you to get out of there? Maybe somebody at one of the volunteer groups you work with could help.

It can be rough to find work, especially when you haven't worked in such a long time. I hope you find something. I hope you're listing volunteer work as experience on applications. It counts!

 

[ladyforsaken]

Not sure if I can be of much help but I really hope that things work out for you and your kids soon. Good luck.

 

[Edward W]

I don't think I can help either, but good luck, and if you think we on this forum can do anything please ask. There may be members nearby who can help or advise etc etc.

 

[ardour]

..well he could be distraught and/or depressed, probably because he's about to lose custody of his children.

 

[Sansui]

Hello, am sorry for what u going through. I admire the strength you have to make such a decision despite the immediate implications. As some on this thread have already suggested, a trusted family member (even your in-laws) might be able to provide temporary support/shelter whilst you figure the rest of the situation out. It might even be possible to get him to pay financial support if there are valid legal reasons suggesting you and yo kids can't continue sharing shelter with him. A time apart might give the both of u some perspective and allow u to make more sound and informed decision.

All the very best!!

 

[Tiina63]

Are things bad enough for you to go to a women's refuge?

 

[Gutted]

After such a long time and much experience, a break up is bound to be messy. Try to focus on one problem at a time. Write a list maybe and prioritize things. Whatever helps you the most. Just don't be petty and have big arguments with your ex and stuff. No one needs that.