I've had enough

[LoneKiller]

I get to feeling better then all these feelings and thoughts come rushing back in and BAM I'm right back at the bottom. I've tried to be positive and it's like I can for a few minutes or maybe an hour then just out of nowhere it hits me again. It's like mean cruel cycle. I just want to get off this rolller coaster.

I'm not a doctor, but you sound "Bipolar". Maybe you should see your doctor.

 

[SophiaGrace]

Maybe he is rapid cycling, you're right.

 

[Guyonthelake]

Lonekiller I think you maybe correct. As a health care professional I certainly see that there's something wrong. This may just be clinical depression. Could be bipolar disorder. Either way I'm making an appointment to see my MD in the morning. Hopefully I can get in pretty quick.

I want to thank everyone here for their help. I have a long way to go but I'm going to make it. I had a life altering event this morning. Made me realize I can't do this alone. If I keep trying to I'll do something that can't be undone and will crush the people around me. You guys are amazing people. I hope and pray that oneday soon I can help those who come here. Again I thank you all.

 

[SophiaGrace]

I am glad we could help you.

Let us know how the MD appointment goes.

 

[Nitramici]

You guys are amazing people. I hope and pray that oneday soon I can help those who come here. Again I thank you all.

I'm confident your thread here has helped some of the lurkers already, people that went through/are going through similar emotions. I'm personally glad you went and posted it. Reaching out is never easy.

 

[LoneKiller]

I'm glad to hear that you are taking steps to help yourself by posting here and going to see your doctor. Kudos on your courage and humility for making this decision!

 

[Ak5]

You will always have our support!

Good luck!!

 

[Equinox]

It's good to hear that you're going to seek help. It makes the world of difference, and I know how scary it can be.

I put off talking to my doctor about my mental issues for months, because I just couldn't say the words. I'd find other reasons to make appointments, and at the end of them, she'd ask if that was all, and I'd just nod my head and say "yes, that's all, thank you". When I finally managed to shake my head instead, everything I'd kept bottled up for years came rushing through. I barely managed to mention my psychological issues at all before I started crying, and it took several minutes before I could speak again. Somehow, saying it out loud to my doctor made it a lot more real, and that scared me. Same thing happened at my first therapy session. It's hard, but definitely worth it.

I believe you'll find your way back, Guy. Getting the help you need is a huge step. Be proud of yourself.