ive tried so hard

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hawk9007

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about 3 years ago i fell in love with this girl, it was my freshman year in high school.i dont know what it was about her,all i knew was that i was willing to do anything for her, i still am. just recently we started to go out. it didnt last long about 2 weeks. during that time i was honestly happy. a feeling that has been absent in my life for a long time. she broke my heart yesterday. she was the only person in the world that i honestly believed understood me. i trusted her. i dont trust alot of people in the world, but she was one of them. she betrayed me she made out with her ex while we were going out. i dont understand. im not a bad guy. pain has been a part of my life for along time now. and just when i thought that its was going to go away forever. this happens. i lose her after 3 years of trying, standing by her threw everything. after she put me threw hell. shes driven me to the breaking point, many times before, and she usually puled me back. this time though im not sure. i lived for the one i loved, now that shes gone i cant find a reason to go on anymore. ive been trying but my mind contiues to go back to suicide. this is my first post here. the only reason ive actually posted here is from what ive read, alot of people are like me, hurting.threw al this though i still find myself saying" i love her" we decided to stay freinds, but still did i deserve this? ive done somethings im not proud of but they wernt bad enough to be hurting so much......ive tried to look on the bright side of things but it dosnt seem to help much. i skipped school to gather my thoughts. didnt do much for me, just made me feel like crap all over again.
 
Hang in there buddy. I don't really know because I've never been in a formal relationship, but the same thing happened to me with the girl who was leading me on for years. We were "best friends" for a long time, but I realized that I wanted a relationship. She seemed genuinely interested- we would hang out together all day and night, go on "dates," and cuddle. We even kissed. Then, during a party at MY HOUSE, she hooked up with my other (former) best friend. That was the most painful thing I've ever been through. Years later, and I'm still not sure I'm over it. I definitely don't trust anyone very easily anymore. I saw her a few months ago and she started playing her little game again- flirting, acting like she cared about me. But I realized in that moment that I wasn't attracted to her anymore because of what she did. You and I deserve better than that, hawk9007. It's really hard to give up on someone you truly loved, but you have to when it's only killing you. Don't try to pretend you're happy or force it. What happened really sucks, so you need time and some closure. Don't fret over the time you spent with someone who hurt you, like I did. You're still young and it's not too late for you to find love again. Girls like that are not worth your life and whatever happiness you have left. It's always going to hurt. I just saw some pictures of her and her new boyfriend, and it still upset me. But I know in my mind that, hey, at least I am not in a relationship with someone who never cared about me enough to tell me she didn't love me (although she acted like she did). Take care.
 
ill try, im not sure how long i can hold on for though. my mind keeps going over the few weeks we spent together trying to find out what i did wrong...
 
She's the one that did something wrong. I know she is important to you, but look at the situation objectively. If she cheated on you then you should be feeling sorry for her for selling herself out as much as you. You don't ever cheat on your other. If you aren't happy, get out it before you act. Doing anything else is wrong. If you cannot have trust, then you cannot have a real relationship. Certainly not one that will stand the test of time. Not one you can look back at years from now and be happy about.

If she doesn't seem interested in trying to repair the damage and apologize for her lack of judgment, and promises never to do it again then you, as hard as it is, needs to move on and find a more respectable girl.
 
hawk9007 said:
...my mind keeps going over the few weeks we spent together trying to find out what i did wrong...

I know to well the running things through your mind over and over.

It very well could be that you didn't do anything wrong. It sounds like it has more to do with her. I hope it all works out for you.
 
You can mull over it for ever, believe me. It doesn't help. The only thing that can REALLY help is a lot of time, after time you can step back and see what really happened and that it was no fault of your own. People do not break up because someone "did something wrong", people break up because they were not a good match. You can only be yourself, and if someone throws that away theres nothing you can do about it, its all on their end. You just have to keep going along being yourself and you will find the person that without a DOUBT loves you for it!
 
I was in a relatioship like that once.she flirt with other guys just to make me mad. she cheated on me but i loved her so much i let her keep hurting me just as long as she would be with me. we broke up and to tell the truth if she ever tried to go back out with me i would. and id probally kill myself because of the pain she would cause me agian. ive even tried to do it a couple of times
 
THORN said:
she cheated on me but i loved her so much i let her keep hurting me just as long as she would be with me. we broke up and to tell the truth if she ever tried to go back out with me i would.
wow....
 
I know the feeling dude, i was in a relationship for a year! and the whole time i never knew exactly where i stood with her. I really liked this girl, i would have been happy to spend the rest of my life with her, but she was on a different wave length to me, it didnt work out. 1 week after we broke up she has a new boyfriend, i mean we where together for 1 year and it takes her 2 minutes to get over me and find a new boyfriend? im not even sure if she had him already lined up while we where still together.

anyway, iv felt like a huge part of me was missing, and thought id never get over it, but i did, and am happy with my life as it is and have no regrets. i believe as they say, "its better to have loved and losed, then to never loved before" time heals all wounds.
 
Hawk

You can't go back to being suicidal because a girl you love so much crush your heart. That is not life answer, take it from me when I say life isn't the perfect world as we wanted to be. Nevertheless we are all here to seek answer, and I think you know the answer. I'm gonna put this up "your better than her" don't ever think your less because she cheated on you. Hell would you really want to date with someone who isn't loyal to you? You deserve better, we all do, and it not gonna happen if you cry over what has happen, it not your fault. You didn't do anything wrong, take some solace in that. She was just a lying cheating whore, no offense but that was high school I believe, or maybe college I forgot but the thing is you will find true love when you least expect it as long as you don't give up.
 
hawk9007 said:
about 3 years ago i fell in love with this girl, it was my freshman year in high school.i dont know what it was about her,all i knew was that i was willing to do anything for her, i still am. just recently we started to go out. it didnt last long about 2 weeks. during that time i was honestly happy. a feeling that has been absent in my life for a long time. she broke my heart yesterday. she was the only person in the world that i honestly believed understood me. i trusted her. i dont trust alot of people in the world, but she was one of them. she betrayed me she made out with her ex while we were going out. i dont understand. im not a bad guy. pain has been a part of my life for along time now. and just when i thought that its was going to go away forever. this happens. i lose her after 3 years of trying, standing by her threw everything. after she put me threw hell. shes driven me to the breaking point, many times before, and she usually puled me back. this time though im not sure. i lived for the one i loved, now that shes gone i cant find a reason to go on anymore. ive been trying but my mind contiues to go back to suicide. this is my first post here. the only reason ive actually posted here is from what ive read, alot of people are like me, hurting.threw al this though i still find myself saying" i love her" we decided to stay freinds, but still did i deserve this? ive done somethings im not proud of but they wernt bad enough to be hurting so much......ive tried to look on the bright side of things but it dosnt seem to help much. i skipped school to gather my thoughts. didnt do much for me, just made me feel like crap all over again.


your post is really tripping me out because thats exactly what happened to me. even the time line. only that she tried to hook up with me again after we broke up but i said no because she was going out with my other friend (with whom i only get wasted with, not a true friend.) but then she hooked up with my best friend in front of my face few years later....and right now i feel exactly the same way you do. maybe worse. i tried to off myself with bunch of stuff but figured out in the end, suicide makes you look like a coward. the only way out my friend is to be strong. the only way of "getting them back" is to be strong. think of this way, these people dont deserve you. they just dont. its not you, its the people that mess you up. why kill youself over these puny maggots? be strong. shes an idiot for doing that honeysuckle. and you are over it. get a better one to make her pissed and realize how wrong and how much of a messed up person she was.

or a better idea, just be over her and move on.


no one fuckin deserve this honeysuckle, fuckin no one. (scuse me french) espcially genuine people like us. it grinds my gears when people do this honeysuckle to other people. when you never intended any harm whatsoever.
 

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