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Just another one

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Hi everybody,
I really don't know where to start. I've found this forum while I was looking for information about loneliness, I didn't even known that people still write in internet forums  :D
English is not my first language despite my degree in languages, so forgive me if I make some mistakes.
I'm a 27 years old girl, I had a troubled childhood with a difficult relationship with my mother that led me to eating disorders during teen age years, and a father who I really loved but who used to prefer living at the town's major bar rather than being with his kids.
I've had some troubled relationship, from one of them I had a kid who is now 5 years old. His father was the first to show me what living in a loving environment meant, but after few months he turned out to be very different "inside his own house" of what he was outside. It lasted two years and then we broke up.
Now I've also argued with my family because of heritage from my father's death in 2013 and we don't talk anymore. 
I have some friends but I can't be completely open with them, cause I am extremely introvert and I also don't want people to complain me, so I only told them half of the truth about my situation. More over, my real best friend died in a car accident when we were 17 and I have problems now to build relationship with other women... (Half due to my mother half to the traumatic event).
I worked until last Friday in an educational centre, with kids from dysfunctional families. This helped me more then them, but now my time is ended.
So now here I am living in my ex's house as a host, without a real home (my father's house was the reason I've argued with my family) and no job... This is a complete disaster.
I'm here, I suppose, to make friends who are living in a troubled moment of their life as well so we can support each other.
I hope we get all better,

A.
 

Drew

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Hello A,

Welcome to the forums and yes, people do still write in these things... strange creatures that we are. Degree in Languages? How many languages do you know? (I know a sad joke... "What do you call someone who knows 3 languages? Trilingual. What do you call someone who knows two languages? Bilingual. What do you call someone who knows only one language? American." -- I am trying to learn Russian now.)

You have certainly faced some troubling times, but you have continued on, which is good. You have spirit and determination and you are looking for help. You haven't given up. All good qualities, if I say so.

If I may ask, why are you not still working at the Centre? Or is there another centre you can work at? Prospects for a different job? Anything related to your degree?

I wish you a warm welcome and if you need to talk, feel free to PM anyone of us.
 
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Drew said:
Hello A,

Welcome to the forums and yes, people do still write in these things... strange creatures that we are. Degree in Languages? How many languages do you know? (I know a sad joke... "What do you call someone who knows 3 languages? Trilingual. What do you call someone who knows two languages? Bilingual. What do you call someone who knows only one language? American." -- I am trying to learn Russian now.)

You have certainly faced some troubling times, but you have continued on, which is good. You have spirit and determination and you are looking for help. You haven't given up. All good qualities, if I say so.

If I may ask, why are you not still working at the Centre? Or is there another centre you can work at? Prospects for a different job? Anything related to your degree?

I wish you a warm welcome and if you need to talk, feel free to PM anyone of us.

I studied English, German and Russian. Мы можем говорить по русский, если ты хочешь.
Anyway, we say that of every English-speaking person, they already speak English, why should they learn another language? :p I like languages. The harder it is the more I like it.

I don't know if I've faced all this because I'm brave or just because of my son. I'm really tired, angry, lonely, exhausted of this life. Sometimes I want just to get away from everything.

I live in Italy. I think that's the answer to the questions about my job. I had a one-year long fixed term contract and I don't have many chances of finding another on the short term because of recession. I'm now trying to work as a freelance translator but the way is long.

Thank you much for your words  :)
 
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Oh wow. I didn't even remember this forum. I've received an email from it and I thought "what is it?"
Well, 4 years have passed. I'm fine, I've got my house (my Dad's house) and a new job.
I still feel lonely despite having a stable relationship. I guess I am the problem at this point.
I hope you all are doing well.

A.
 

JJW

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I'm here, I suppose, to make friends who are living in a troubled moment of their life as well so we can support each other.
I hope we get all better,

Hi JOA, Welcome. About 30 years ago my body stopped working quite right. I lost my fine motor control and found movement in general to be difficult. One of my hobbies was drawing which I couldn't do any more. I had another silent trauma that my mind was protecting me from. Without much else to do I started reliving my life, which uncovered the trauma— my dad tried to murder me when I was twelve years old. I couldn't face it until I was 40. That was about the year 2000. The web not very old then, forums like this were just starting to appear.

Not to make a big deal about me, it's just I had these things and a lot more to deal with. There were a number of car crashes, and other trauma that I'd been sent to counseling for. Having had several different counselors, I'll tell you I'll never go to another. They were just a waste of money and offered no positive progress.

It was places like A Lonely Life that gave me the most help. I was able to talk to people with similar histories and by sharing our life stories we were able to help each other. It will take time to build your circle but by then not only do you get help, you get friends.

I hope you find the friends you need. No one should have to live in pain.
 
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Hi JOA, Welcome. About 30 years ago my body stopped working quite right. I lost my fine motor control and found movement in general to be difficult. One of my hobbies was drawing which I couldn't do any more. I had another silent trauma that my mind was protecting me from. Without much else to do I started reliving my life, which uncovered the trauma— my dad tried to murder me when I was twelve years old. I couldn't face it until I was 40. That was about the year 2000. The web not very old then, forums like this were just starting to appear.

Not to make a big deal about me, it's just I had these things and a lot more to deal with. There were a number of car crashes, and other trauma that I'd been sent to counseling for. Having had several different counselors, I'll tell you I'll never go to another. They were just a waste of money and offered no positive progress.

It was places like A Lonely Life that gave me the most help. I was able to talk to people with similar histories and by sharing our life stories we were able to help each other. It will take time to build your circle but by then not only do you get help, you get friends.

I hope you find the friends you need. No one should have to live in pain.
I am so sorry for what happened to you and I can't even imagine a parent willing to harm a child.
I miss the 2000s forum vibes, I wish they were still popular as they were.
 

JJW

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It is comforting when others feel empathy for what we go through. Even the little condolences give us a bit more strength. So, thanks. I'm okay. Was a time I wasn't, and it's the people that are willing to take their time to respond to a person's grief that helps us stand up again. There are things we can never get over. But with support of others we can learn to live with it.

Not to be pathetic, but one of those crashes I mentioned killed my dad. Looking back as an adult for years I tried to understand how he could do the things he did to me. I visited his grave this year, and I accused him. I said the things I couldn't say then. I shouted at him for all the ways he destroyed me. Know what? It helped. I got the last word. :)
 
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It is comforting when others feel empathy for what we go through. Even the little condolences give us a bit more strength. So, thanks. I'm okay. Was a time I wasn't, and it's the people that are willing to take their time to respond to a person's grief that helps us stand up again. There are things we can never get over. But with support of others we can learn to live with it.

Not to be pathetic, but one of those crashes I mentioned killed my dad. Looking back as an adult for years I tried to understand how he could do the things he did to me. I visited his grave this year, and I accused him. I said the things I couldn't say then. I shouted at him for all the ways he destroyed me. Know what? It helped. I got the last word. :)
I'm happy you had your moment.
Those experiences are deeply rooted in us. My worst regret in life is that I wasn't with my father when he died, knowing he was dying. I've come to terms with many things I life but not with this one.
 

JJW

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I'm sorry about your Dad. I can't relate. I had a really bad relationship with mine. And I was there. And it never goes away. Different circumstances I know. But having someone die in their lap isn't something I'd want for anyone. I don't know how you would have dealt with it, but not having the memory of that final moment could be a blessing.
 

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