Feel even more lonely, more isolated and invisible, than ever. And know that these feelings are only increasing.
I have given up even trying to do small talk when buying something at a shop, or when getting fuel. Nobody is interested. I would get just disinterested grunts, or ignored. So what’s the point. Work is how it always is. Nobody talks to me. If they want something it is always just a text message or a note stuck to the door.
Had a birthday 10 days ago. Just another one alone. Not even any contact with my family. That’s how interested they are.
Nobody has asked how I am or anything. Nobody ever does. And to be honest, there is nobody to ask really. Even online, there is nowhere to be. Nobody to really talk with on any regular basis. On any daily basis. I don’t fit in. The chat rooms and apps, and dating apps, just don’t work. Invisible, even in them.
Have asked for help in meeting people. In actually meeting people, not advice on how to, or where to go. Have asked for help in finding dates or something. But nothing has worked. Nobody is interested. Maybe being diagnosed as autistic scares people. Even here. I don’t know. Have even been to groups with autistic people though, and even there, I didn’t fit in. There was no connection. No conversations. I went there alone ... and really, you might be surprised with how many autistic people are in relationships. But I went there alone, and left alone. As usual. Like I said, I didn’t fit in.
Invisible. That’s all I am.
I have given up even trying to do small talk when buying something at a shop, or when getting fuel. Nobody is interested. I would get just disinterested grunts, or ignored. So what’s the point. Work is how it always is. Nobody talks to me. If they want something it is always just a text message or a note stuck to the door.
Had a birthday 10 days ago. Just another one alone. Not even any contact with my family. That’s how interested they are.
Nobody has asked how I am or anything. Nobody ever does. And to be honest, there is nobody to ask really. Even online, there is nowhere to be. Nobody to really talk with on any regular basis. On any daily basis. I don’t fit in. The chat rooms and apps, and dating apps, just don’t work. Invisible, even in them.
Have asked for help in meeting people. In actually meeting people, not advice on how to, or where to go. Have asked for help in finding dates or something. But nothing has worked. Nobody is interested. Maybe being diagnosed as autistic scares people. Even here. I don’t know. Have even been to groups with autistic people though, and even there, I didn’t fit in. There was no connection. No conversations. I went there alone ... and really, you might be surprised with how many autistic people are in relationships. But I went there alone, and left alone. As usual. Like I said, I didn’t fit in.
Invisible. That’s all I am.