Just plain sad

[Ctzn_Soldier]

I'm lonely and sad today just like I always am. It’s the weekend again and it’s time to put down my heavy, heavy burden I call my life. It’s time to take off the fake smile and quiet the false humor and laughter. I know what I have become, just a sad and lonely clown of a man.

No one can make me happy and my time for joy is over and I know it. I only seem to exist for others. Yes the weekend, my favorite time to remind myself just how ugly I and everything around me has become.

Do other people "get by" during the week and then fall apart at the end of the week like me? I feel like I am being punished for something I didn't do.

 

[I'm Fine]

I don't have a weekend in the same way that you do. Instead I fall apart whenever I'm on my own and have to pick myself back together in time to be ok when other people are around. It's the same principle, I think.

Does that help?

 

[Ctzn_Soldier]

I don't have a weekend in the same way that you do. Instead I fall apart whenever I'm on my own and have to pick myself back together in time to be ok when other people are around. It's the same principle, I think.

Does that help?

Yes, that helps in the sense of validation for my feelings. I have to pretend all day at work that "I'm fine" and it's so exhausting.

Thanks for taking the time to reply and care.

CS

 

[I'm Fine]

Why do you think I chose my username as I did? Because it's what I tell the world on a constant basis.

And you're welcome.

 

[RNT]

Yeah it sucks, At work i kinda get my socializing needs cause i have alot of contact with customers and talk with collegues, But when i'm home i'm just so lonely and bored, Its like i am 2 different persons. I feel like im wasting my life away when i'm alone.

 

[Ctzn_Soldier]

Yeah it sucks, At work i kinda get my socializing needs cause i have alot of contact with customers and talk with collegues, But when i'm home i'm just so lonely and bored, Its like i am 2 different persons. I feel like im wasting my life away when i'm alone.

I can relate to that. When I'm at work I become Superman solving everyone's problems and I am successful but when I get home I fall into a dark void of an existence - 2 different worlds. I must have done something really bad in another life... I'm paying for it now and that is for sure.

 

[jjam]

Why do you think I chose my username as I did? Because it's what I tell the world on a constant basis.

And you're welcome.

I know the feeling.

"what's wrong? are you okay?"

I get way too many of those from way too many people who don't really give a **** about me...

 

[Ctzn_Soldier]

Why do you think I chose my username as I did? Because it's what I tell the world on a constant basis.

And you're welcome.

I know the feeling.

"what's wrong? are you okay?"

I get way too many of those from way too many people who don't really give a **** about me...

Yes and if I hear one more 'just hang in there' piece of good 'advice' Augggggggh!

 

[I'm Fine]

Yes and if I hear one more 'just hang in there' piece of good 'advice' Augggggggh!

Nobody says that kind of thing to me. Maybe, on some level, they realise that something is wrong and are trying to help (or at least salve their consciences about it so they can pretend they care). Just a thought anyway.

 

[Brian]

I lived like that for several years. It was maddening and I definitely feel for you guys. Work was/is a respite from being home and is still very much the center of my social life... All I can suggest is to try and make yourself do something, maybe something outdoorsy and/or fast paced...it helps, a little bit, but sometimes it's bittersweet to be out biking alone, or simply to know when you're done, you'll be all alone all over again.

I'm almost sure I'll be in this situation again in the future. All is temporary.

 

[I'm Fine]

It's like that story of a king that wanted something that would make him happy when he was sad and sad when he was happy (although why anyone would want something like that I don't know). At the end he's given a piece of paper (or something like that) with the words

'This, too, shall pass'

I think that pretty much sums up life. I just keep waiting for this to pass (makes it sound like a kidney stone - eeps).

 

[SophiaGrace]

. I just keep waiting for this to pass (makes it sound like a kidney stone - eeps).

ROFL! That was great. <3

What would you prefer your life to be like CTZ?