stork_error
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- Aug 31, 2014
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I guess I have no emotional intelligence. I recently have discovered this must be one of my weaknesses. I am not manipulative and I don't know how to do this. I don't know how to manipulate in a negative way (like an ******* who purposefully harms people), and I don't know how to manipulate in a positive way (to ensure that things work in my favour.)
Let me explain.
The lady above me makes noise all night. I have filed 2-3 complaints and the most that ever happens is that she stops for a while.
Recently I have filed another complaint but nothing has been done and I cannot sleep. The last time I filed, she came to my unit and tried to start a fight with me. She got so aggressive that the superintendent had to pull her away. She went psychotic. I'm pretty sure she is on drugs that keep her wired. This is a 57 year old woman we are talking about.
So as a result of the inaction I have begun doing it back to her and this is where i lack emotional intelligence, because the reality is that I'm sure the whole building can hear me yelling at her and banging on my walls. Ive found that she sleeps from 6 pm to 11 pm so I have been banging on the ceiling and yelling during this time.
The result of this will inevitably be someone complaining about me and thinking that I'm the one whos crazy and even though I'm aware of this, I'm still doing it.
It seems like when the powers that are supposed to help dont do so, I take things into my own hands. This will inevitably backfire because I dont know how to be manipulative. I dont know how to set people up, I dont know how to be sneaky, I dont know how to be underhanded... I just dont know how to get what I want. I dont know how to create ,manipulative scenarious, use maniulative wording etc...
Eventually I will start loosing my patience and direct my frustrations at my property management and then I will be the one who is targeted for being a pain in the ass.
And it could have been handled differently by me being manipulative and sneeky, smiling pretty and acting like I know nothing about it, all the while nailing this inconsiderate ***** to the wall.
Then, this woman down the hall has her kids running down the hall screaming all day from one apartment to the other and everybody on the floor is pissed off, but not a single person complains. But of course, I get the most frustrated and impulsively open my door and tell her kids to stop yelling. And then when they don't stop I start recording it on video and even tell the kids that they are being recorded so I can complain, then comes the mother and of course who argues with the mother but me.
My point is that a smart person would have recorded it, and then smiled at the kids and smiled at the mom and told the mom how cute the kids are and then wrote a nasty complaint letter to the property management so that she would never think it was me. And in regards to the lady above me...
I could have been manipulative by banging on her neibours walls late at night or something and getting her neibour to complain as well.
I could have lied to the superintendent and said that I hear a washing machine running up there and that my toilet overflows from it.
I could have even said I heard parties up there.
I could play nikki nikki 9 doors all night with her and drive her crazy...
But I dont think of these things, because I'm stupid that way.
However, I havn't a clue how to restrain myself at the time of telling her where to shove it and I dont have the logic to calulate how to be devious to get what i want, unlike much of the population who has such good skills at this.
I dont know how to gaslight, and yet some people are so good at it. After I argued with the mother, she walked past my apartment and purposefully bumped into my door as she walked by. What she wanted was to have me come out and get upset and then record me getting upset.
See what I mean? People know how to be sneaky and how to instigate and how to mould and gaslight others. They know how to set people up and get under peoples skin to get them upset... and I dont, I just dont.
Or thats not even it maybe. I just dont have the ability to think FAST and SNEEKY. I confront things head on and it gets me into trouble. I give my power away by being straightforward.
And the saddest thing, is that lately I find myself thinking about this more and more and more.
Its like what the soccer players do. A player sneekily pushes another player, he pushes him back and the first player falls to the ground holding his stomach and reeling... yet not a **** thing is wrong with his stomach. He just used the other players anger to use it in his favor to get the other player a penalty. He manipulated the situation.
Its like the person who hits someone and then when the other person hits back (after everyone is looking), the original pusher purposefully falls to the floor and cries omg he hit me.
Its like the movie mean girls. How does one learn to be devious like this? I'ts like more and more i see these nasty sneaky behaviors and im sadly becoming aware of them and wishing I was this smart. WTF when you are wishing to be devious in order to stop bad things from happening to you. WTF is wrong with this world.
More and more I find myself saying to myself... how do I make sure that person gets messed and I dont.
Yet, still, I am always the one to be set off by gaslighting and always the one getting set up. Even when Im aware people do it, i still fall for it anyway.
At what point will i ever get the point and stop being so stupid and emotionally unintelligent.
Now I have to deal with 2 people in my building who are going to give me problems. And the reality is that at some point they will figure out that i have complained about both of them and they will get together and put it all on me. Not to mention the property management will wonder why I have complained about both of them. They will ask themselves... Are her ears too sensitive maybe? Maybe so because she must be a bit crazy if she's banging on the walls at night and yelling. Then guess who will become the blame.>Me
However, the reality is that they are both acting inconsiderately and affecting other peoples enjoyment of their units. So they will get warned, it will benefit everyone else and i will be the one who pays for it.
These are just two scenarios, I see it all around me in so many situations. It makes me want to withdraw from humanity or become a vile human.
Its awful what this is doing to me. Lately I have even been thinking about topics such as revenge and thinking maybe I should sleep with peoples husbands. Thats an indication of how detached from emotional logic I actually am at this point. Im just really tired of always being the one whos actually correct or in the right but gets screwed because I cant seem to get the blame where it actually needs to be. Maybe its my turn to screw people.
Im so tired of being a decent human. It just seems that evil people aways win and they always win by being evil.
I dont know what will become of me, but life is really doing its damage and teaching me some really unfortunate lessons.
What the F is going on when life is teaching you that you should be manipulative evil and sneeky to get what you want ?
Let me explain.
The lady above me makes noise all night. I have filed 2-3 complaints and the most that ever happens is that she stops for a while.
Recently I have filed another complaint but nothing has been done and I cannot sleep. The last time I filed, she came to my unit and tried to start a fight with me. She got so aggressive that the superintendent had to pull her away. She went psychotic. I'm pretty sure she is on drugs that keep her wired. This is a 57 year old woman we are talking about.
So as a result of the inaction I have begun doing it back to her and this is where i lack emotional intelligence, because the reality is that I'm sure the whole building can hear me yelling at her and banging on my walls. Ive found that she sleeps from 6 pm to 11 pm so I have been banging on the ceiling and yelling during this time.
The result of this will inevitably be someone complaining about me and thinking that I'm the one whos crazy and even though I'm aware of this, I'm still doing it.
It seems like when the powers that are supposed to help dont do so, I take things into my own hands. This will inevitably backfire because I dont know how to be manipulative. I dont know how to set people up, I dont know how to be sneaky, I dont know how to be underhanded... I just dont know how to get what I want. I dont know how to create ,manipulative scenarious, use maniulative wording etc...
Eventually I will start loosing my patience and direct my frustrations at my property management and then I will be the one who is targeted for being a pain in the ass.
And it could have been handled differently by me being manipulative and sneeky, smiling pretty and acting like I know nothing about it, all the while nailing this inconsiderate ***** to the wall.
Then, this woman down the hall has her kids running down the hall screaming all day from one apartment to the other and everybody on the floor is pissed off, but not a single person complains. But of course, I get the most frustrated and impulsively open my door and tell her kids to stop yelling. And then when they don't stop I start recording it on video and even tell the kids that they are being recorded so I can complain, then comes the mother and of course who argues with the mother but me.
My point is that a smart person would have recorded it, and then smiled at the kids and smiled at the mom and told the mom how cute the kids are and then wrote a nasty complaint letter to the property management so that she would never think it was me. And in regards to the lady above me...
I could have been manipulative by banging on her neibours walls late at night or something and getting her neibour to complain as well.
I could have lied to the superintendent and said that I hear a washing machine running up there and that my toilet overflows from it.
I could have even said I heard parties up there.
I could play nikki nikki 9 doors all night with her and drive her crazy...
But I dont think of these things, because I'm stupid that way.
However, I havn't a clue how to restrain myself at the time of telling her where to shove it and I dont have the logic to calulate how to be devious to get what i want, unlike much of the population who has such good skills at this.
I dont know how to gaslight, and yet some people are so good at it. After I argued with the mother, she walked past my apartment and purposefully bumped into my door as she walked by. What she wanted was to have me come out and get upset and then record me getting upset.
See what I mean? People know how to be sneaky and how to instigate and how to mould and gaslight others. They know how to set people up and get under peoples skin to get them upset... and I dont, I just dont.
Or thats not even it maybe. I just dont have the ability to think FAST and SNEEKY. I confront things head on and it gets me into trouble. I give my power away by being straightforward.
And the saddest thing, is that lately I find myself thinking about this more and more and more.
Its like what the soccer players do. A player sneekily pushes another player, he pushes him back and the first player falls to the ground holding his stomach and reeling... yet not a **** thing is wrong with his stomach. He just used the other players anger to use it in his favor to get the other player a penalty. He manipulated the situation.
Its like the person who hits someone and then when the other person hits back (after everyone is looking), the original pusher purposefully falls to the floor and cries omg he hit me.
Its like the movie mean girls. How does one learn to be devious like this? I'ts like more and more i see these nasty sneaky behaviors and im sadly becoming aware of them and wishing I was this smart. WTF when you are wishing to be devious in order to stop bad things from happening to you. WTF is wrong with this world.
More and more I find myself saying to myself... how do I make sure that person gets messed and I dont.
Yet, still, I am always the one to be set off by gaslighting and always the one getting set up. Even when Im aware people do it, i still fall for it anyway.
At what point will i ever get the point and stop being so stupid and emotionally unintelligent.
Now I have to deal with 2 people in my building who are going to give me problems. And the reality is that at some point they will figure out that i have complained about both of them and they will get together and put it all on me. Not to mention the property management will wonder why I have complained about both of them. They will ask themselves... Are her ears too sensitive maybe? Maybe so because she must be a bit crazy if she's banging on the walls at night and yelling. Then guess who will become the blame.>Me
However, the reality is that they are both acting inconsiderately and affecting other peoples enjoyment of their units. So they will get warned, it will benefit everyone else and i will be the one who pays for it.
These are just two scenarios, I see it all around me in so many situations. It makes me want to withdraw from humanity or become a vile human.
Its awful what this is doing to me. Lately I have even been thinking about topics such as revenge and thinking maybe I should sleep with peoples husbands. Thats an indication of how detached from emotional logic I actually am at this point. Im just really tired of always being the one whos actually correct or in the right but gets screwed because I cant seem to get the blame where it actually needs to be. Maybe its my turn to screw people.
Im so tired of being a decent human. It just seems that evil people aways win and they always win by being evil.
I dont know what will become of me, but life is really doing its damage and teaching me some really unfortunate lessons.
What the F is going on when life is teaching you that you should be manipulative evil and sneeky to get what you want ?