fluffer
Member
- Joined
- Jan 5, 2020
- Messages
- 16
- Reaction score
- 5
I have a fairly successful life. I am happily married and we have raised 3 great kids. We both have good careers. My youngest is a senior and goint to graduate from HS this year and off to college. It's fairly close about 20 min away but she will be living in the dorm. But, that will be a big change. However, once my kids are moving on to their adult lives, i realize that DH and I really don't have any friends. Seems we have been so busy working, taking care of our home and life , that we are not very social. And, in reality, we both are home bodies who enjoy staying at home. I feel like there must be something wrong with me. I dont' have a "squad or a tribe". I don't have "people". Neither of us were born in this town and it's a small rural town and quite insulated. Not all that welcoming to people who didn't grow up here. The few people I have gotten to know were not born here either.
And, i have come to realize that I really never had many friends. I have one best life long friend who lives about 2 hrs away. We do get together about once a month or so and we talk on the phone. She literally is the only friend I feel that I could call who would come running and vice versa. But, I don't have girlfriends to drink wine with our hang out and BS with.
I feel embarrassed to hear others talk about all the bbqs or things that they do and would be embarrassed to admit that I don't ever have any parties to go to for 4th of July or any other holidays. Every holiday is just us. And, that is wonderful and I am very blessed with my husband and children. But, I wonder if I am a social misfit in some way. I have a professional job, college degree and have interests in many things. But, i can't seem to connect with other woman. I never seem to get past simply being an "acquantance" to anyone. I have put myself out there and made overtures, inviting people for coffee or to do things, but everyone is too "busy". Yet, i see people can manage to pull together groups of friends to take a beach vacation, but i can't even get someone to go have lunch or a cup of coffee. I try to be positive and upbeat to be around. I am naturally a more serious somber person, but i can let loose and have fun as well.
I think my biggest fear is that if DH and I no longer have each other, we will be totally alone. Our kids will move on to their own lives and I doubt it will be in this small town where there are no jobs.
And, i have come to realize that I really never had many friends. I have one best life long friend who lives about 2 hrs away. We do get together about once a month or so and we talk on the phone. She literally is the only friend I feel that I could call who would come running and vice versa. But, I don't have girlfriends to drink wine with our hang out and BS with.
I feel embarrassed to hear others talk about all the bbqs or things that they do and would be embarrassed to admit that I don't ever have any parties to go to for 4th of July or any other holidays. Every holiday is just us. And, that is wonderful and I am very blessed with my husband and children. But, I wonder if I am a social misfit in some way. I have a professional job, college degree and have interests in many things. But, i can't seem to connect with other woman. I never seem to get past simply being an "acquantance" to anyone. I have put myself out there and made overtures, inviting people for coffee or to do things, but everyone is too "busy". Yet, i see people can manage to pull together groups of friends to take a beach vacation, but i can't even get someone to go have lunch or a cup of coffee. I try to be positive and upbeat to be around. I am naturally a more serious somber person, but i can let loose and have fun as well.
I think my biggest fear is that if DH and I no longer have each other, we will be totally alone. Our kids will move on to their own lives and I doubt it will be in this small town where there are no jobs.