Ladies, how do you show you are interested?

[tom_lonely]

Ladies, how do you show a guy you are interested?

How do you show interest in just friendship, vs interest in a romantic relationship that might lead to sex?

Do men pick up on the signals, or are we pretty clueless?

I've heard things like "maintain eye contact" or "touch his knee" to give signals of interest.

It would be interesting to get some insights.

 

[Montreal Skye]

Words for me. When I like a guy I will be obvious about it - even though I'm quite shy I don't play games like that, I'll tell him I like him and that I think he's cute. I even threw in the word "honey" at one point early on, there was no confusion. If I want to be just friends, then I keep things very "chummy" for lack of a better word. Like I won't get into any intimate discussions that could make him think I want a more intimate relationship with him. If asked bluntly, I'm honest and say that I want to be just friends.

 

[tom_lonely]

Words for me. When I like a guy I will be obvious about it - even though I'm quite shy I don't play games like that, I'll tell him I like him and that I think he's cute. I even threw in the word "honey" at one point early on, there was no confusion. If I want to be just friends, then I keep things very "chummy" for lack of a better word. Like I won't get into any intimate discussions that could make him think I want a more intimate relationship with him. If asked bluntly, I'm honest and say that I want to be just friends.

I liked your answer. In your case, it sounds pretty straightforward. If we were to date, I feel like I would know where we stood.

So, where do you feel it breaks down and goes wrong?

 

[Callie]

Ladies, how do you show a guy you are interested?

How do you show interest in just friendship, vs interest in a romantic relationship that might lead to sex?

Do men pick up on the signals, or are we pretty clueless?

I've heard things like "maintain eye contact" or "touch his knee" to give signals of interest.

It would be interesting to get some insights.

Saying it like that makes it seem like sex is the ONLY thing you are looking for...sorry, but that's my opinion.

That said...if I'm interested, I say I'm interested, plain and simple

 

[tom_lonely]

Ladies, how do you show a guy you are interested?

How do you show interest in just friendship, vs interest in a romantic relationship that might lead to sex?

Do men pick up on the signals, or are we pretty clueless?

I've heard things like "maintain eye contact" or "touch his knee" to give signals of interest.

It would be interesting to get some insights.

Saying it like that makes it seem like sex is the ONLY thing you are looking for...sorry, but that's my opinion.

That said...if I'm interested, I say I'm interested, plain and simple

I am beginning to think that you really aren't that sorry.

Stop taking everything I say and making it seems like it's sordid, when it's not. I was just asking a question. And I wasn't asking it only for myself. The question came because of something I read in another post.

 

[Callie]

I am beginning to think that you really aren't that sorry.

Stop taking everything I say and making it seems like it's sordid, when it's not. I was just asking a question. And I wasn't asking it only for myself. The question came because of something I read in another post.

First, my "sorry" was for the purpose of saying that I really don't care if you like what I say or not, because I didn't figure you would. It's more of a sarcastic sorry than anything else...perhaps you didn't get that.

Second, I will take whatever I want and read it how I see it and comment on it that way (hence adding the "MY opinion" part). The fact that you put sex in there speaks volumes whether you think it does or not. You could have left it at "romantic relationship" and EVERYONE would have known what you meant, but you just had to take it that extra step and include sex. If you think I turn what you say into something sordid, maybe you should proofread before you post to see if it sounds sordid.

That said, I don't really care if you try to make me the bad guy here. I posted what I thought. If you don't like that, well, that's not really my problem.

 

[Barbaloot]

I don't think you have to worry about that sort of thing when you're married.

But if I'm interested in someone romantically I just tell them.

 

[tom_lonely]

I am beginning to think that you really aren't that sorry.

Stop taking everything I say and making it seems like it's sordid, when it's not. I was just asking a question. And I wasn't asking it only for myself. The question came because of something I read in another post.

First, my "sorry" was for the purpose of saying that I really don't care if you like what I say or not, because I didn't figure you would. It's more of a sarcastic sorry than anything else...perhaps you didn't get that.

Second, I will take whatever I want and read it how I see it and comment on it that way (hence adding the "MY opinion" part). The fact that you put sex in there speaks volumes whether you think it does or not. You could have left it at "romantic relationship" and EVERYONE would have known what you meant, but you just had to take it that extra step and include sex. If you think I turn what you say into something sordid, maybe you should proofread before you post to see if it sounds sordid.

That said, I don't really care if you try to make me the bad guy here. I posted what I thought. If you don't like that, well, that's not really my problem.

So, you can be bothered to answer my question, but you can't be bothered to be civil to me?

I think you have something personal against me. I wish you would get over it and stop treating me like I am a piece of sh*t.

Is there ANY WAY we can drop this and get past this? Or do you want to keep confronting me every time I post with your snotty passive-aggressive comments, followed by " oooops, I'm sorry I said that." You can't un ring a bell.

 

[VanillaCreme]

How do you show interest in just friendship, vs interest in a romantic relationship that might lead to sex?

It's just in the way you put it... I understand what Callie was saying. Makes it sound like the ultimate goal is sex.

But I would show a guy interest with a rope, a thick piece of cloth to gag him with, and the threat that he will love me.

 

[Callie]

So, you can be bothered to answer my question, but you can't be bothered to be civil to me?

I think you have something personal against me. I wish you would get over it and stop treating me like I am a piece of sh*t.

Is there ANY WAY we can drop this and get past this? Or do you want to keep confronting me every time I post with your snotty passive-aggressive comments, followed by " oooops, I'm sorry I said that." You can't un ring a bell.

Actually, I was civil until you attacked me with your accusations. I simply stated what I thought your own words made it seem like. Also, believe me, I still AM being civil to you...you'll know it when I'm not.

Don't even start thinking you know what I do and why. That's a losing battle on your part. You do NOT know why I do what I do anymore than anyone else does. Hate to break it to you, but there's only one person that knows why I do something and what I mean by what I say. That person would be ME. I am not treating you like a piece of honeysuckle, you are trying to force me into that role and sorry, but that isn't going to happen.
You really don't get sarcasm, do you? Do you really not understand that not EVERY sorry is heartfelt? Sometimes, it's simply a "you're not going to like this" statement.

Now, how about YOU "get over it" and stop trying to put words in my mouth, stop trying to made something I said into something it's not? M'kay, thanks.

 

[tom_lonely]

So, you can be bothered to answer my question, but you can't be bothered to be civil to me?

I think you have something personal against me. I wish you would get over it and stop treating me like I am a piece of sh*t.

Is there ANY WAY we can drop this and get past this? Or do you want to keep confronting me every time I post with your snotty passive-aggressive comments, followed by " oooops, I'm sorry I said that." You can't un ring a bell.

Actually, I was civil until you attacked me with your accusations. I simply stated what I thought your own words made it seem like. Also, believe me, I still AM being civil to you...you'll know it when I'm not.

Don't even start thinking you know what I do and why. That's a losing battle on your part. You do NOT know why I do what I do anymore than anyone else does. Hate to break it to you, but there's only one person that knows why I do something and what I mean by what I say. That person would be ME. I am not treating you like a piece of honeysuckle, you are trying to force me into that role and sorry, but that isn't going to happen.
You really don't get sarcasm, do you? Do you really not understand that not EVERY sorry is heartfelt? Sometimes, it's simply a "you're not going to like this" statement.

Now, how about YOU "get over it" and stop trying to put words in my mouth, stop trying to made something I said into something it's not? M'kay, thanks.

So... you can treat me however you want, but I have to have all of this respect for you, even when you are (I think) being snotty and catty?

That's fair.

And I do understand sarcasm. I've been laying it on pretty thick in my replies to you.

I just think it is interesting how you seem to target my posts.

Maybe this is some sort of game for you. You seem to rather enjoy telling me how much I don't know you, how I put words in your mouth, how I am trying to corrupt the nice people on this forum. You know people read and form opinions about you based on what you write.


"The lady doth protest too much, methinks"

 

[WallflowerGirl83]

Oh I let them know heh.. So I know what my chances are. I hate wondering what if? And What will happen? I ask wondering. It drives me crazy. It's better to know right away so that way your not hurting after 4 months of knowing them and they say Oh I only see you as a friend. I don't rush either, I just let them know I'm interested. And see what goes from there.

 

[Callie]

So... you can treat me however you want, but I have to have all of this respect for you, even when you are (I think) being snotty and catty?

That's fair.

And I do understand sarcasm. I've been laying it on pretty thick in my replies to you.

I just think it is interesting how you seem to target my posts.

Maybe this is some sort of game for you. You seem to rather enjoy telling me how much I don't know you, how I put words in your mouth, how I am trying to corrupt the nice people on this forum. You know people read and form opinions about you based on what you write.


"The lady doth protest too much, methinks"

Dude, you just got here, you don't know what I say or where I say or to whom I say, so don't start assuming you know this honeysuckle. Ask around, you are HARDLY my "target." I don't do targets. I say what I think, when I want, where I want. No, not everyone likes what I say or even likes me, but again, I don't care. You can think I'm being snotty all you want, I call it like I see it WITH EVERYONE.
Also, I don't really care if you respect me or not....I don't really care what ANYONE thinks of me.
You are taking what I say and twisting it into attacks about YOU. And you're saying you are NOT putting words in my mouth? I never said ANY of the honeysuckle you claimed I said. So, put 2 and 2 together there and see what you get.

And for the quote...pot, meet kettle.

 

[theraab]

As much fun as the back and forth between Callie and Tom is, the topic reminds me of something (there is a moral at the end)

When I was 18 (and naive) I was friends with a very attractive girl - I assumed she was out of my league, so I was content to just be her friend. One day she invited me over to watch a movie while her parents were away. We watched the movie, and at the end, she said, "Let's play strip poker". I was a little surprised, but agreed to play. We got down to our underwear, at which point she said, "I'm bored of this, let's have a pillow fight". And she hit me with a pillow from the couch.

The sad part of this story is that, as she's standing in her lingerie, gently batting me with a pillow, at no point did it occur to me that she might be want to more than friends. It was about 2 years later before I realized she was trying to hit on me.

The moral of the story is, if a girl/woman is batting you with a pillow while wearing only her underwear, you can assume she's looking for something more than friendship.

 

[Trent]

jesus h. christ on a crucible!

who gives a fresia if the guy is just interested in sex or not?

not me.

he asked a ******* question.

not as though wanting some puss - eventually - is a goddamned crime.

anybody got some xanex to pass out around this place?

what he didn't ask for was a love session of "antagonistic troll"

sorry, this honeysuckle just annoys the fresia out of me.

to the OP, i will answer your question without being a gardenia about it.

- body contact
- standing close
- extended eye contact
- playing with her hair
- laughing at all of your jokes, even the lame ones
- seeming interested in all your stories, even the lame ones
- going from available to unavailable in order to make you pursue
- probing questions, subtly to find out your views on relationships, marriage, and the like
- complimenting you: "you are smart", "you are strong", etc
- honeysuckle tests (google it)

 

[Callie]

jesus h. christ on a crucible!

who gives a fresia if the guy is just interested in sex or not?

not me.

he asked a ******* question.

not as though wanting some puss - eventually - is a goddamned crime.

anybody got some xanex to pass out around this place?

what he didn't ask for was a love session of "antagonistic troll"

sorry, this honeysuckle just annoys the fresia out of me.

I assume that name calling piece of drivel is directed toward me. I answered his ******* question. He then proceeded to attack ME because heaven forbid I say something he doesn't like, so back the fresia up off me.

 

[perfanoff]

Wow, a lot of attitude in this thread.

 

[Montreal Skye]

So, where do you feel it breaks down and goes wrong?

You mean where it breaks down and goes wrong while trying to figure out if one likes the other? Insecurity and lack of confidence to take a risk and ask maybe? Acute shyness on one person's part or the other. Fears from past hurts...gosh the list goes on doesn't it? Communication I suppose is the blanket term for all the misunderstandings with regards to "signals".

I wear my heart on my sleeve so I will naturally just be straightforward. I prefer it that way because my first bf 20 years ago was a master at playing games with me where I felt those confusing mixed signals etc...I don't want to go there anymore. I'd rather just tell a person "I really like you" and see if they respond in kind. If they don't, then at least I know they weren't interested. I think it hurts at first if they don't feel the same way, but overall I'd rather know because I feel it's always best to be honest with people.

 

[Gutted]

From my experience it's quite obvious if a Girl likes a Guy. Even very shy Girls will make it apparent in time.

 

[jales]

never ever been close friends with a male who i didnt want to be in a relationship with. if i'm talking to you on a daily basis. i'm interested.