Let's fix this

[Empathy]

Hello my friends. So I stopped by a few months ago, then registered a few days ago, and sent out a couple of private messages to people I'd have liked to gotten to know. I posted in the "Where are you" thread.

As of today, nobody I sent a PM to has responded. I find this rather silly. Here we all are, on a site of lonely people, and people still aren't interested in helping eachother? Are people really that self-centered?

I don't think so, I think we just don't know where to start in helping eachother with the loneliness we all have. If you find yourself unwilling to help others, well, that's probably why *you're* lonely.

I'd like to get some of us working together to make sure that every member has received at least one friendly message, and has someone to talk to. Reply if you will help with this. We'd need at least 10 people to make it work, so that means pretty much everyone active on the forum.

 

[keeper]

Hi and welcome, Empathy!
Lately I've been posting everyday, sometimes I can't post because often I'm not home and I haven't got a connection at home in the town where I often work.
Anyway, I also think that maybe

we just don't know where to start in helping eachother with the loneliness we all have.  

 

[realandtruelove]

Hi Empathy, "A Lonely Life" has very special members, they are all invisible, I login 10s of times a day to check who is there, NOBODY, how they post their threads, I don't know. Is it a special feature of the site because we all feel lonely?, or I imagine so because I feel lonely! Don't loose hope.

 

[mountaingirl]

I have found the best thing is when you feel you are helping someone else with something. I am very willing to be part of this. With me the lonliness comes and goes, but the need to help is always a big part of my life. We all are made so speical and unique, and are searching so diligently for that little slot in life that makes us enjoy this life.

 

[realandtruelove]

I have found the best thing is when you feel you are helping someone else with something. I am very willing to be part of this. With me the lonliness comes and goes, but the need to help is always a big part of my life. We all are made so speical and unique, and are searching so diligently for that little slot in life that makes us enjoy this life.

your words bring something inside me to life again, I usually loved to help someone, but had some disappointments, and at the end I prefered to live with myself. I understand what you mean, it's a great feeling, but what you want to do?

 

[keeper]

your words bring something inside me to life again, I usually loved to help someone, but had some disappointments, and at the end I prefered to live with myself. I understand what you mean, it's a great feeling, but what you want to do?

My dilemma: helping somebody makes me feel good, but I've had too many disappointments. I don't tell you my story, it's too long and boring. That's one of the main reasons why I am (and feel) lonely.

 

[joeynicdao]

We're not a community, so our degrees of loneliness are going to vary. Some people will feel lonely for a single day, some will feel it from day to day, and some will feel like they've been lonely their whole life. Not everyone will feel they can help another lonely person and some will not even want to open up to anyone because we each deal with loneliness differently. Tragically, we need more than a forum to cope with loneliness in a healthy and appropriate manner. Also, we're each in different time zones and some of you don't even log in for like a week. However, I agree that if a pm is sent, a reply should be sent whether the interest is mutual or not. I know I haven't received any because I usually try my best to reply to every one of them.

 

[keeper]

We're not a community, so our degrees of loneliness are going to vary.  Some people will feel lonely for a single day, some will feel it from day to day, and some will feel like they've been lonely their whole life.  

That's true.

Not everyone will feel they can help another lonely person and some will not even want to open up to anyone because we each deal with loneliness differently. 

That's also true.
 

Tragically, we need more than a forum to cope with loneliness in a healthy and appropriate manner.  

We need indeed something else than a forum to cope with it, but I think that sharing our thoughts and experiences is a good thing, if anything it is a way to open up to somebody who's lonely too.

 

[mountaingirl]

I just so truly believe we are all very special, and at risk of stepping on toes; I certainly believe in a higher being who created all of us. Thus said, nothing really happens without a reason and every action has a reaction. I think I stumbled on this site for a reason, and I feel I am sitting here typing for a REASON. The Let's fix this is such a good start, and it offers so much opportunity on this site to actually help someone else. Yes, folks hurt us and sometimes they continute to hurt us over and over, but we must find the ones who do not plan to hurt us. They, themselves, are hurting inside. I would love to hear some optimism about different ways this site has given us a different outlook. So much said. I guess this is one of my optimistic good days. lol

 

[realandtruelove]

I usually had the feeling that people feeling lonely are sensitive people, and I found this site a good place to express myself, and I'm glad to see you all communicating in this nice way. I had an idea and I don't know if it works or not, I also asked the Administrator Bjarne about it, and as you all said "We need more than a forum to cope with loneliness", but we are in different places. So, if we have a chat page here, will it bring us all together in a better way, or it will be the same: lonely people lonely site.

 

[realandtruelove]

One more thing to fix it as we say here!
I'd encourage everyone to just define his location on the profile page, this will help us understand the time-difference problem, and why some of us login in the morning, others in the evening, and if you don't know how to do it, please go to that link
http://www.alonelylife.com/usercp.php?action=profile

 

[keeper]

I think I stumbled on this site for a reason, and I feel I am sitting here typing for a REASON.

Hi mountaingirl! nice post; of course I also think that we're typing here for a reason. The main reason to me is because I can't easily tell anyone "I feel lonely". This is a good start to me, but i think it's only the first step. There's much yet to do!

 

[sweetpatience]

Hi everyone maybe you all forgotten me cause I haven't logged in for a pretty long time....Iv'e been going thru some heavy personal issues......just want you all to know that you are precious and special and i love you all....I guess you probably think thats a crock but its not I do truely care about the hurting souls ....the world is a cold and scarey place...and we all need love and someone to care ....so please accept a hug from me and God bless you....

 

[realandtruelove]

..... and a hug from me too. WELCOME

 

[Empathy]

Hi Keeper
We all definitely cannot log in every day. I just skipped 3 days because I moved this weekend, and just got my computer set up again.

realandtruelove, you're so right. My theory is it's partly because we are all a bit timid about going crazy posting things or messaging people. We're not sure why we're here, whether it's a good place for us...that kind of thing.

mountaingirl, a big reason I posted this is exactly what you're saying. I think we are all here because we can help ourselves by helping eachother. The opposite of loneliness is companionship, and so helping someone else is helping both theirs and yours.

keeper is right. Rings very true with me. My loneliness is mostly a feeling of...why don't people return the same empathy I feel for them? This applies to my friends, girlfriends...I think we can reach a point where we give up on others, and then we are lonely. In that case, my view is it's not your job to jump up and help anyone, let someone come help you.

Agree completely with you, joey. We can make a community of some of us, though.

Hi patience *hug*

Now, for what I think we should do to start helping eachother:

- Messaging new members. Let's just set up a thread where we take turns sending a short friendly message to every new member. Then if they respond, we can sort of adopt them and get them involved

- It would be neat if we could have some idea where our neighbors are. truelove's suggestion to fill in our location would do that. Let's all fill in our locations, even if it's very vague, perhaps per state (in the US.)

- Chat room. Excellent idea from truelove. Something we can just hop on anonymously and...chat with. Perhaps we should set this up on IRC? We want something that is easy to stay connected to. I have the skills to set this up, if the site admin is not going to do it (or would like my help.)

That's all, happy Valentine's Day everyone

 

[keeper]

Now, for what I think we should do to start helping eachother:

- Messaging new members.  Let's just set up a thread where we take turns sending a short friendly message to every new member.  Then if they respond, we can sort of adopt them and get them involved

- It would be neat if we could have some idea where our neighbors are.  truelove's suggestion to fill in our location would do that.  Let's all fill in our locations, even if it's very vague, perhaps per state (in the US.)

- Chat room.  Excellent idea from truelove.  Something we can just hop on anonymously and...chat with.  Perhaps we should set this up on IRC?  We want something that is easy to stay connected to.  I have the skills to set this up, if the site admin is not going to do it (or would like my help.)

Hi Empathy! I think these ideas are good, especially the third. We could create a channel.
Welcome back, sweetpatience! Hugs!

 

[Mandydb2]

I think a chat room would be a great idea as other chat rooms you visit can be very unfriendly and busy and there are always people who are just there to cause arguments. Our chat room would be so lovely.
xx

 

[Luna_luce]

Hey guys... Chat room is a great idea, Empathy, IRC even more so!

 

[bri]

i just found this forum, but it seems like a step in the right direction for a lot of people. i'm willing to help.

 

[lonelygirl]

Not to be a bummer but I don't think strangers can really help, but it's worth a try, right?

I don't think people belong here unless they are TRULY lonely. Not people who are depressed and lonely for one day!