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Empathy
Guest
Mmmhmm. Well, not all strangers. I know a few people in this thread better than I know some of my acquaintances in real life, now. 
Help Support Loneliness, Depression & Relationship Forum:
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AaronAgassi
Guest
So, would that satisfy your social needs?
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Empathy
Guest
What do you think?
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AaronAgassi
Guest
I doubt it.
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Empathy
Guest
Good call. It would be good, though, to meet some of the people here
I'm thinking it's not feasible right now; I'd guess only 4-5 people currently active would be able/interested to make it. We're very spread out. If the forum were bigger, we could have smaller, more local meetups. Perhaps in time.
Hmm, what about something more virtual? Have some ideas there...
I'm thinking it's not feasible right now; I'd guess only 4-5 people currently active would be able/interested to make it. We're very spread out. If the forum were bigger, we could have smaller, more local meetups. Perhaps in time.
Hmm, what about something more virtual? Have some ideas there...
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AaronAgassi
Guest
Me too: http://www.FoolQuest.com
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Empathy
Guest
That is completely off-topic.
I understand that you are excited about your site, but please do us a favor and stop advertising it. We are here because we are lonely, and we seek communication and understanding. You are aware that you use big words and phrasings that most people can't understand. That is not what anyone is looking for. When you hijack a thread to talk down to vulnerable people, and post your site all over, it is frustrating and discouraging. No one is looking for complex, confusing speculation - we are looking for the simple answers that seem to make up life. And we care about EACHOTHER just a little bit. We care about YOU. That's why we are here.
You have made some positive posts; I do not think you are a troll, although that was my very first impression. I believe your priority is to help others. Please think about the tone that comes across in your writing style, and use it carefully here. Consider that intelligence comes in many forms, and no one has mastered them all. Someone you talk to may understand you better than you think. Look at yourself from the perspective of someone who may understand you - how do you look to them? Are you a positive force to them? Any less effort is selfish.
It should be very difficult for you to dismiss someone as less intelligent. I say this because, when I meet someone who I feel is less intelligent than I, I also realize it's entirely possible that *I* simply do not understand *them* fully.
Thank you for reading this, friend. I would suggest putting the link to your site in your profile, because people interested in you will be checking out your profile, and it's much more subtle and less intrusive.
I understand that you are excited about your site, but please do us a favor and stop advertising it. We are here because we are lonely, and we seek communication and understanding. You are aware that you use big words and phrasings that most people can't understand. That is not what anyone is looking for. When you hijack a thread to talk down to vulnerable people, and post your site all over, it is frustrating and discouraging. No one is looking for complex, confusing speculation - we are looking for the simple answers that seem to make up life. And we care about EACHOTHER just a little bit. We care about YOU. That's why we are here.
You have made some positive posts; I do not think you are a troll, although that was my very first impression. I believe your priority is to help others. Please think about the tone that comes across in your writing style, and use it carefully here. Consider that intelligence comes in many forms, and no one has mastered them all. Someone you talk to may understand you better than you think. Look at yourself from the perspective of someone who may understand you - how do you look to them? Are you a positive force to them? Any less effort is selfish.
It should be very difficult for you to dismiss someone as less intelligent. I say this because, when I meet someone who I feel is less intelligent than I, I also realize it's entirely possible that *I* simply do not understand *them* fully.
Thank you for reading this, friend. I would suggest putting the link to your site in your profile, because people interested in you will be checking out your profile, and it's much more subtle and less intrusive.
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AaronAgassi
Guest
No, I am directly on topic. You asked about something (alternatives in social interaction) more virtual, did you not, (lack of) Empathy? Well, don't bruise your index finger clicking the link! Because that is exactly what you will find facilitated on http://www.FoolQuest.com as nowhere else online I know.
And as for miscommunication or incomprehension, you don't just want clear communication, you want it immediatly without making an effort or asking questions. But if you are lonely, that is not how real communication will be achieved, only repetitive empty social noise.
Alas, we live in a society where natural interest and questioning are shamed into suppression. If you are not willing to actively engage in what is called miscommunication repair, but only exert peer pressure and shunning, then you will never get any further than you are now. You will only continue to waste your time with a grinding and pointless common sense that doesn't actually work.
Indeed, one might be hard pressed to find, anywhere on this forum, an instance of one poster requesting clarification whatsoever from another poster. What has been the need? Sadly, this indicates a lack of challenge. And people who fail to be challenging to one another are lonely.
And as for miscommunication or incomprehension, you don't just want clear communication, you want it immediatly without making an effort or asking questions. But if you are lonely, that is not how real communication will be achieved, only repetitive empty social noise.
Alas, we live in a society where natural interest and questioning are shamed into suppression. If you are not willing to actively engage in what is called miscommunication repair, but only exert peer pressure and shunning, then you will never get any further than you are now. You will only continue to waste your time with a grinding and pointless common sense that doesn't actually work.
Indeed, one might be hard pressed to find, anywhere on this forum, an instance of one poster requesting clarification whatsoever from another poster. What has been the need? Sadly, this indicates a lack of challenge. And people who fail to be challenging to one another are lonely.
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AaronAgassi
Guest
Satisfactory for whom?
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AaronAgassi
Guest
Indeed, so you do.
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Empathy
Guest
wendi said:
I lol'ed
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AaronAgassi
Guest
Some are easilly amused.
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justjames
Guest
AaronAgassi said:
aaron why do you talk like a vulcan? i'm not trying to ridicule you but don't you find that talking like a robot just alienates people? and being combative and adversarial instead of trying to empathise with people's positions and find common ground can't help either.
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AaronAgassi
Guest
Empathy is wonderful given freely, until it simply becomes expected. And adversariality, or more precisely, the practice of controversy, is at the very heart of all civilized accomplishment, whether you are comfortable with that salient truth or not. As for common ground, frankly I despair of finding any.
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Elaeagnus
Guest
AaronAgassi said:
If that's true, why are you here? I'm not trying to be rude. I'm honestly curious what you hope to gain from participating in this forum.
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justjames
Guest
i think you are making it difficult for people to understand what it is you want.
are you just looking for someone to debate and critique your manifesto? or are you just looking for someone with common interests?
aren't there any other slightly less highbrow interests you have that you could share with other people? it's just i don't think there are many people who come to a forum about easing loneliness that are looking for a fiercely intellectual debate and analysis of the human condition. i know it's relevant, but it's kind of outside most people's experience, and i dont think it's necessary in order to overcome loneliness.
are you just looking for someone to debate and critique your manifesto? or are you just looking for someone with common interests?
aren't there any other slightly less highbrow interests you have that you could share with other people? it's just i don't think there are many people who come to a forum about easing loneliness that are looking for a fiercely intellectual debate and analysis of the human condition. i know it's relevant, but it's kind of outside most people's experience, and i dont think it's necessary in order to overcome loneliness.
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AaronAgassi
Guest
Elaeagnus said:
I gave it my best try. Now I find myself frustrated.
I had hoped that the challenge of loneliness would be confronted far more seriously.
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AaronAgassi
Guest
Are not those rwo priorities somewhat confluent?justjames said:
What for? Small talk is of little help.
Then we have made progress, having arrived, at long last, to the crux of our disagreement.
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birch
Guest
ok, this was kind of interesting reading (although i guess it hasn't been added to recently).
i did have to chuckle at the comment about talking like a vulcan. i hadn't thought of that comparison while reading aaron's posts, but i guess i can kind of see the spock-connection. (sorry, i never watched any of that past the earliest of shows)
even though i think it's fine for someone to want to debate on a higher scale, it really does little good if most people can't partake in that debate, at least to the satisfaction of the one person who wants that debate.
i think most people want to talk about loneliness on a more down-to-earth level, since it's down here where so many of us are feeling all this pain.
i was actually shocked to find forums dealing with loneliness, & i'm not sure why. i mean, i've seen a number of forums dealing with depression, lack of employment, atheism, etc., but loneliness seems like so much more of a "hurt-to-the-soul" kind of admittance that i didn't think people would really want to deal with it openly. but i'm glad they do.
unfortunately it's not real easy to relate to people half your age - cuz there's so much different experience there. that's not to say i haven't seen a lot of intelligence come out of 23-yr-olds (far from it), but it's just not the same as relating to someone who's been thru years & years of these feelings. it adds up & it changes you, in ways that can't be understood at a younger age.
on a side note, i don't think posting a link to a dating site will help the situation, since most of us have probably been there & done that, & it sometimes only helps to elevate the problem.
i did have to chuckle at the comment about talking like a vulcan. i hadn't thought of that comparison while reading aaron's posts, but i guess i can kind of see the spock-connection. (sorry, i never watched any of that past the earliest of shows)
even though i think it's fine for someone to want to debate on a higher scale, it really does little good if most people can't partake in that debate, at least to the satisfaction of the one person who wants that debate.
i think most people want to talk about loneliness on a more down-to-earth level, since it's down here where so many of us are feeling all this pain.
i was actually shocked to find forums dealing with loneliness, & i'm not sure why. i mean, i've seen a number of forums dealing with depression, lack of employment, atheism, etc., but loneliness seems like so much more of a "hurt-to-the-soul" kind of admittance that i didn't think people would really want to deal with it openly. but i'm glad they do.
unfortunately it's not real easy to relate to people half your age - cuz there's so much different experience there. that's not to say i haven't seen a lot of intelligence come out of 23-yr-olds (far from it), but it's just not the same as relating to someone who's been thru years & years of these feelings. it adds up & it changes you, in ways that can't be understood at a younger age.
on a side note, i don't think posting a link to a dating site will help the situation, since most of us have probably been there & done that, & it sometimes only helps to elevate the problem.
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AaronAgassi
Guest
As may perhaps befit the Vulcan way and all, I cannot venture that I find myself at all certain what sort of conversational approach will qualify for you as down to Earth. Yet I dare hope that I might recognize a real effort or a serious inquiry when I come across it.
Indeed, as to any failure of critical thinking, it may often remain ambiguous how much is merely and truly incompetent, what is willful and ideological, and how much is deluded or disheartened. But they are all in a rut!
Frankly, posters on this message board by and large scarcely seem any much better than those who so neglect them out in the world at large. They don’t really have the time for one another, and they remain ever staunchly loyal and committed to every unexamined truism that has failed them so completely and miserably in life and society. -All of which is precisely how never to progress in resolving any challenging problem. Not to mention that some, alas, seem even somewhat hostile and cliquish. But no one ever objects.
Indeed, as to any failure of critical thinking, it may often remain ambiguous how much is merely and truly incompetent, what is willful and ideological, and how much is deluded or disheartened. But they are all in a rut!
Frankly, posters on this message board by and large scarcely seem any much better than those who so neglect them out in the world at large. They don’t really have the time for one another, and they remain ever staunchly loyal and committed to every unexamined truism that has failed them so completely and miserably in life and society. -All of which is precisely how never to progress in resolving any challenging problem. Not to mention that some, alas, seem even somewhat hostile and cliquish. But no one ever objects.
