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She was the one who gave me that confidence.

I was scared to death of going into a major store (and thus stuck to low-end places like Family Dollar), and having little old ladies from a bygone era wagging their fingers at me and being like "I'm gonna call security." The first time I went in, I got this nice purple back-zip dress. I talked to some other lady who I asked, "I want some shoes that match this...?" "What size?" "Size eleven" (I'd tried a pair of sucky loose flats at Wallmart after buying it) "A natural size eleven? Heels or wedges?" "I don't know what wedges mean..." (She then connected me with this girl who had some cheap looking heels in 11, and some nice wedges which because I bought a dress were at an absurd discount of only being $1. I almost bought the wrong pair, so I ended up having to go over to her again and clear the purchase. She made some comment about how my "girlfriend is a lucky girl" and I walked out of the store relieved.)

Now I'm really only scared of my parents finding out and overreacting somehow. (They're not really the type, but it's largely an irrational fear) Well, that and my folks dying and ending up dying on the streets since I haven't enough money (because I spent any new money on clothes...)
 
Bulma - kudos to you for having the guts to do that. I'm a girl and I get scared of being judged when I go to buy dresses so I can't imagine what it's like for you. Did you speak to your brother?
 
I emailed him. He's about 60+ miles away, so visiting is kinda tough. Someday I'd like to go shopping dressed, though.

Why do you get judged? Are you abnormally tall or something?
 
bulmabriefs144 said:
I emailed him. He's about 60+ miles away, so visiting is kinda tough. Someday I'd like to go shopping dressed, though.

Why do you get judged? Are you abnormally tall or something?

Me? Nooo, I'm just really shy about clothes. I like buying stuff but I always worry people will think I look like a prick wearing it. Not a happy place.
 
They're just clothes. The original point of clothing was not actually covering modesty despite what you might read in the Bible, it was for comfort, since the body was exposed to the elements. Traditionally, tropical islands had people wearing skirts, and places like Russia had both wearing pants. Then we decided on what's "acceptable" rather than comfortable.

The reason guys get grief over wearing them is because of taboo. But if doing this has taught me anything, it's not to have body issues but try to feel comfy with yourself.

Today my parents went to a clothing store to shop. (The SAME one I buy all my girl clothes) They spent most of the time shopping for me, and most of that trying to convince me I'm a 32 waist (which is part of why I absolute. I don't diet and in fact have a fairly big appetite, except the very limit to keep me healthy (i.e. I eat alot but don't care for junk food). My natural size is 30 x 32, telling me I'm not normal because some "expert" set the normal weight bar about 10 lb too high is likely to cause some sort of disorder. 32 hangs like so much baggy clothing, and they should feel ashamed for trying to tell me what is or isn't "normal" about what my body naturally does.

So yea, even if you look more boyish than I do, be proud of your body. I'm sure you'd look okay in a dress or pants or whatever.
 
Oh, umm, didn't you say you had a beard? I'm not sure I look as boyish as you...

I don't think I look bad in a dress, I just think people will judge the exact dresses I'm buying. Although I'm not sure now.
 
(Oh yea, sorry about that. The beard comes off though)

Don't let people judge you, and feel confident in your own skin, I guess was what I was getting at. I could probably tell you what style looks best on you if I had a photo.
 
Seosa said:
Poguesy said:
Seosa said:
Poguesy said:
Seosa said:
Often I wish I was a lesbian, at least I'd get love.

Or you could be gay and go dogging ;)

I'll pass, ;)

**** it! :D

Haha, sorry pal, I'd rather not get bummed in a field with sheep for an audience, :p

And to think there is fields of sheep galore up in Cumbria :(

Nevermind, one day we'll live the fantasy ;)
 
Poguesy said:
Seosa said:
Poguesy said:
Seosa said:
Poguesy said:
Or you could be gay and go dogging ;)

I'll pass, ;)

**** it! :D

Haha, sorry pal, I'd rather not get bummed in a field with sheep for an audience, :p

And to think there is fields of sheep galore up in Cumbria :(

Nevermind, one day we'll live the fantasy ;)

Poges there's loads of men on this board who I'm sure would enjoy your schlong, ask around, :p
 
Seosa said:
Poguesy said:
Seosa said:
Poguesy said:
Seosa said:
I'll pass, ;)

**** it! :D

Haha, sorry pal, I'd rather not get bummed in a field with sheep for an audience, :p

And to think there is fields of sheep galore up in Cumbria :(

Nevermind, one day we'll live the fantasy ;)

Poges there's loads of men on this board who I'm sure would enjoy your schlong, ask around, :p

My only desire is you ;)
 
Poguesy said:
Seosa said:
Poguesy said:
Seosa said:
Poguesy said:

Haha, sorry pal, I'd rather not get bummed in a field with sheep for an audience, :p

And to think there is fields of sheep galore up in Cumbria :(

Nevermind, one day we'll live the fantasy ;)

Poges there's loads of men on this board who I'm sure would enjoy your schlong, ask around, :p

My only desire is you ;)

By this time I think you're being serious. My crack is trembling...
 
I just wanted to say that the predominance of homophobia within the skilled trades is really sickening. I think lesbians might be more accepted due to the whole butch stereotype, and are probably viewed as being closer to straight men. If you were an openly gay or bi man in the trades, however, it really seems like your career might be doomed. At least in this area of the world, from what I've seen, an openly gay tradesman would be completely ostracized and subjected to regular bullying.

The last time I was working I was paired up with one journeyman for most of the time. In a lot of ways he was a good guy. I saw him stand up for a number of underdogs in the company, and if I was having a bad day he made it clear that I could talk to him about my problems. The image I had of him was completely shattered though when he started having some work related disputes with a 3rd year apprentice. Now this apprentice was no perfect gentleman. He was generally very bossy and arrogant towards any apprentices at a lower level than him (myself included), and even towards people higher up the food chain whom he happened to disagree with. His fatal flaw, however, (in the eyes of the j-man I was paired up with) was the fact that he was kind of an effeminate guy. Mainly he just had a high pitched voice and talked with a lisp.

The 3rd year ended up having a number of conflicts with my j-man over some installations we were doing, and the j-man ended up getting really mad. I don't blame him for getting mad, as the 3rd year was being kind of an ass. What was really disturbing to me was how the j-man focused on the effeminate (and therefore, in his eyes, likely gay) nature of the 3rd year, and proceeded to harass him daily on this subject. He would go out of his way to walk over to where the 3rd year was working and shout accusations and slurs at him. I felt incredibly uncomfortable in this situation, because as a 2nd year apprentice the journeyman I'm paired up with is basically my boss. I mean I love the job for the most part, but such homophobic attitudes are incredibly prevalent in this industry. I really can't see it ever changing very much.
 
Industries change because people pave the way for change.

This website demonstrates the point, many of these fields were closed to trans-folk until some of them entered.

For example, NASCAR racing is about the most homophobic male-centered thing you can think of. Terri O'Connell is apparently a transgender racer there. Why did she not get phased out? She's good.

Generally, heavy industry insists people prove their worth. Be good enough at your job that he can't dispute your right to work there.
 

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