M
MikeyLE80
Guest
I've been alone all my life. Literally no dates and no sex. I'm 37 years old. I know that seems incredibly rare and you might wonder why. I was diagnosed with Schizophrenia at the age of 14. It has been pretty debilitating. But it turns out I have a mood disorder too. My Current diagnosis is Schizoaffective Bipolar type 2. My mood swings usually aren't even too bad unless medicines or severe illness make it worse.
But recently I tried a new medicine for my Psoriasis. I also got a very bad cold. So up until today for hours every day I thought about almost nothing else. I felt so sad I was almost on the verge of crying but the tears don't come.
I take pretty good care of my body, I'm honest and pretty intelligent. I'm not too bad looking. None of it matters to prospective partners because I've been jobless my whole life. I've called/applied for volunteering twice to see about that. I want to see if I can work and if so, about how many hours. Also I need a work history to get any job.
I found dating sites to be degrading. Most men have to send 20-50 messages to get one response. To get one REPSONSE not a date. 75% of women won't date a man without a job. I'm not sending 100 messages just to get one response.
On Tinder I got no likes, so I couldn't talk to anyone. On POF I got no responses, I did get women that clicked on a thing to say Yes they would meet me based on my cover photo alone. But I would have to pay $33 and I'm pretty sure they are far enough away that paying to get there would be something I'd have to save to do 3x a year. I know a scam when I see one.
That and most of my views or likes or whatever on POF were from, camgirls.
The group I go to (mental health support group) doesn't allow relationships. I think my only hope, even if I can work part time is to try a group at another facility available, if they do allow relationships. If not, I don't see any chance to not be alone.
I don't want it to seem that I'm reverse stigmatizing, but I don't think I can relate to neurotypical women on this level and vice versa. I've had completely different experiences in life, especially as an adult. I don't want to be judged or treated like I'm unworthy. Maybe I could find someone like me, except they've probably been in a few relationships.
But it doesn't seem likely. I wish I could go somewhere with no mention of couples or love. Then I could half forget about the idea of having a girlfriend.
With it in my face every day, I can't be happy like this.
But recently I tried a new medicine for my Psoriasis. I also got a very bad cold. So up until today for hours every day I thought about almost nothing else. I felt so sad I was almost on the verge of crying but the tears don't come.
I take pretty good care of my body, I'm honest and pretty intelligent. I'm not too bad looking. None of it matters to prospective partners because I've been jobless my whole life. I've called/applied for volunteering twice to see about that. I want to see if I can work and if so, about how many hours. Also I need a work history to get any job.
I found dating sites to be degrading. Most men have to send 20-50 messages to get one response. To get one REPSONSE not a date. 75% of women won't date a man without a job. I'm not sending 100 messages just to get one response.
On Tinder I got no likes, so I couldn't talk to anyone. On POF I got no responses, I did get women that clicked on a thing to say Yes they would meet me based on my cover photo alone. But I would have to pay $33 and I'm pretty sure they are far enough away that paying to get there would be something I'd have to save to do 3x a year. I know a scam when I see one.
That and most of my views or likes or whatever on POF were from, camgirls.
The group I go to (mental health support group) doesn't allow relationships. I think my only hope, even if I can work part time is to try a group at another facility available, if they do allow relationships. If not, I don't see any chance to not be alone.
I don't want it to seem that I'm reverse stigmatizing, but I don't think I can relate to neurotypical women on this level and vice versa. I've had completely different experiences in life, especially as an adult. I don't want to be judged or treated like I'm unworthy. Maybe I could find someone like me, except they've probably been in a few relationships.
But it doesn't seem likely. I wish I could go somewhere with no mention of couples or love. Then I could half forget about the idea of having a girlfriend.
With it in my face every day, I can't be happy like this.