RebeccaSarah33
Well-known member
It snowed more than 14 inches where I am! Its soooooo pretty! Its almost as high as the windows. I'm snowed in, didn't have to go to work, I doubt I will tomorrow. I had a really fun day but like I really wish I had someone to share it with. I got to see my sister for about an hour but she went home so she didn't get stuck away from her house. I had fun by myself all day but now I'm tired of myself LOL. I want to hear what other people think and say and not just have my own thoughts all day to listen to. I hate that I'm awake like half the night almost every night, this is when I get lonely. Theres like nothing I can do, its night, I don't feel like laying in bed cause no one else is in there. I just feel really stupid with my thoughts right now, like I'm talking to myself, lol im not really talking in real life just writing it out like as if im talking to myself LOL. i'm loooooooooooonely right now I'd even watch like a crappy movie that i don't like just to have someone sit next to me. My dad works out of state alot and he came home tonight and fell asleep almost immediately after getting home lol and he turned on beavis and butthead to watch and i sat there and watched it as he snored even though its not what i would watch but it was really lonely cause it was like he wasnt even there. It feels like hes been out of my life for most of it because of his job, my mom too now. It really sucks, i live with my two parents and never see them. They are always working for more and more money to buy stupid things that dont matter! I hate money! I would much rather be dirt poor and never own anything nice and spend my life with people versus having every material thing that i could come up with that i could ever want and never having any time to enjoy any of it. Its just so frustraiting to me to sit and listen to "big plans" for the future of enjoying that boat they worked so hard for, constantly working but the boat never gets taken out cause if there is ever a break in the work its understandibly spent resting up. Why buy an expensive television plan with 500+ channels if you're never home to watch it? Why have a boat if it just sits in the yard and rusts? Why spend all the money to make a huge expensive garden with tall fence to keep the deer out and a netting over the top to keep the crows out and plow and plant it to never tend to it and let it get full of weeds and everything die? Why own an RV and many other vehicles if you only ever use your commute car to go to work? Why own a couple of horses if you never ride them, never groom them, never do anything with them except minimal care? Why own a bunch of stuff you never use and have to work to maintain so that you never use them anyway? I'm just really frustraited right now, I really don't understand that way of thinking. I feel so alone right now, it sucks. lol, i'll get over it in like 2 seconds. 1... 2... yea lol lol theres lots of snow outside :club: lol i'm sorry you wasted your time and brain cells to read this haha I feel like some kind of like mental defectant because I want to socialize so badly but I'm like too shy in real life to get close to anyone, I don't want to socialize like go party, I just want someone here with me to go do all the dumb stuff I like to do and I wanna go do stuff they like to do and live life not alone :club: I guess I just have to be patient but that doesnt take the suck out of it LOL. hopefully one day I'll have someone to come home to lol sorry for you having to read this and waste time :club: <---this is how i feel lol :club: :club: :club: :club: :club: lol at least that smiley has someone there with them even if they are getting hit by them lol