Loneliness Solutions (what's yours?)

[anonymouse]

I've got strategies on how to help myself cope with it since I can't go and actually make new friends (don't it for years but it's gotten harder as my health has deteriorated)

- I'm a member of a lot of email communities online at yahoogroups ....... actually downloading emails into your inbox is therapeutic and better than Fakebook (in my opinion)
- I keep unusual hours that are potentially terrible for loneliness - I don't go to bed until 3am .... so alll night I've got the TV on during the evening while I do things ..... if I need to concentrate then I'll turn the volume off but I keep the TV on
- I listen to friendly and non-political talkback radio. I even go to bed listening to it. A lot of the callers are regulars so there's a bit more "connectiion"
- I live in a dead-end street and when I go walking each day I just walk up and down my street - partly because when I'm tired it's not too far to go home, but also because I might see neighbours during the walk and wave and say "hi" etc
- my rooms are decorated and furnished fully so that they don't look empty. The walls are full of pictures - 1 wall has over 30 pictures all in different positions (not all aligned etc) and having a room like this doesn't seem so 'empty' and so doesn't emphasise any loneliness i might feel.
- i try to "enjoy the moment"


I've done so many things in the past but nothing came out of them (eg. I organised 2 school reunions but nothing came of those (primary school and then high school))

So I basically just try to live for the moment and be happy NOW and less lonely NOW.


fwiw etc etc

 

[Veruca]

What helps me most is my routine. Being a go with the flow hippy made me ruminate on my situation far too much so I try to focus on each task which essentially keeps my mind occupied. So no evil thoughts! Well mostly anyway.

Plus running/working out/dancing. Helps loads.

 

[Will8285]

I use meetup.com and just randomly throw myself into things that sound interesting. I'm taking a beginners ice climbing class in feb. and a canyoneering class I forget when. But I meet interesting people and get some physical exercise. Also the people there are extremely friendly and welcoming. It may not be the best solution for you but it may help.

 

[Peaches]

although I have been in therapy as some point in my life, I am not sure that that would really help for lonely, unless it was someone specialized in making friends, a guru of socializing, as many therapists just have no clue about those things and even if they can help me work some issues, maybe they don't know how to approach the problem practically.
Me, I go to lots of meetup groups, since years I tried to be open to people who might be really different from me and see the good in everyone even if I don't particularly like one of their traits, that also takes some getting used to. Some groups are better than others, usually people who share a common passion, like the above canyoneering or spiritual/philosophical groups are probably more open for some real connection instead of the ones you make at some random party in a bar. I am trying to ask more personal questions, don't disclose too much unless the other is doing the same but still saying something personal, and then try to stick with the same people unless it's really clear that we don't have anything in common.