Mary Mary said:
Argh said:
My mom tries to do good things for me after all that's happened but she's incredibly desperate. She's made lots of mistakes and the language barrier makes it really difficult for us to understand each other. I've tried talking to her before to tell her how I appreciate her but she just thinks I resent her so she's mean to me.
Yep. My mom will have these intense guilt trips and just pour all this ooey gooey lovey dove stuff on me; then on a dime, her mood will suddenly change, and she'll start treating me very contemptuously.
My all time favorite is how she'll badger me for reassurance that I'm not angry at her. I have to tell her over and over, "I'm not mad at you, mom, I'm not mad at you, mom." However, when she does do something that makes me angry, when I tell her, she'll just trivializes it by saying how cute I look when I'm angry and totally not take me seriously. Utter lack of emotional stability.
She's mean to you because she feels guilty.
Wow, my mom behaves exactly the same way too.
I wanted to start building these bridges with her, but she either pouts like a petulant 5-year old, totally ignoring me while she goes ranting about or she doesn't take me seriously at all. When she says how cute I look when I'm angry, that just adds up to more frustration.
She's too emotionally unstable to see pass anything that isn't HER idea of doing something for "my own good". She keeps making mistakes, even as she desperately tries to make it up to me.
Besides that, we have a language barrier as well, very difficult for us to communicate effectively or even meaningfully. I've given up on patching up our relationship. I just think that, forgiveness can be given but reconciliation needs to be earned. If she's going to continue being self-absorbed and delusional, I don't want to be around her.
Argh said:
I'm good at making friends, but people just don't feel like they're anything to me anymore. It feels like everybody else is a mindless sheep wandering around completing tasks/shoving artificial food in their mouth. My dad died when I was 5, and my mom has been a gigantic slut trying to find the right person ever since. My mom has a new boyfriend who I hate. He thinks I'm a pussy.
Not to sound arrogant but I'm one of they smartest kids in my school. I scored the highest scores in my school/nation for English and Reading in my ACT, and I normally get straight As. I'm in all advanced classes/pre Cal. However I haven't been trying lately because it feels like nobody cares.
So anonymous people that probably don't care, what should I do?
Hey, Argh. You might think that nobody cares, but think about how many people there is in the world. Even if the people around you don't seem to care, care about yourself. Sometimes I spiral out of control, feeling apathetic for weeks. After the couple of weeks of burnout, I get up on my feet again and continue on. Someone once told me that, "It could be worse." He's right. Think of it this way, you're young, smart and haven't fully experienced the opportunities coming your way.
High school is stupid. Most people are like mindless sheep, chasing after social statues and getting all over-dramatic.. jumping into superficial relationships etc. I'm sure that the people we meet in high school might not stay the same throughout their lives. Even if they do, why do I care? I'm just going to do my personal best for school, treat my friends and enemies accordingly and get the hell out of here. Ten years down the road, I'd like to think that I've achieved everything with my fullest capabilities.
I think that if you stay true to yourself and to others, sooner or later you'll end up around people whom you can really connect to. Life happens when we're busy making plans. To me, all these plans are to better myself so that when I meet these people, I'd be able to be the best person I can possibly be. I don't know about you, but that's enough motivation for me to get the A's in school, or at least try to. I don't always succeed, but I'd like to think I tried.