Lonely.. even in marriage

[AngelWings]

I'm new here..

I dunno if something is wrong with me but i'm the sort of person who feels lonely no matter who i'm with. I feel like nobody really understands me, nobody really likes who I am.. even my own husband. I quite often think of life without him.. I have 2 daughters and I feel like they're the only 2 people in the world who will love me regardless of my faults.

I don't have any friends, I have people I know and see but I don't feel like any of them are true friends.

Is it bad to feel this way? I feel guilty for getting married now.. I feel my husband deserves somebody who is happier and not as depressed? I know he cares for me and loves me just as I do for him but I just can't shake that feeling that I can only function alone, that the person I am is actually very difficult for other people to deal with..

Am I the only one who feels this way? Are some people designed to be alone? I always thought everybody grew up and got married and had a partner for life.. but I just can't see myself like this.. but then sometimes I can..

I hope this makes sense..

 

[loler]

You should find a really friend.
I can't understand what about your husband and your mind because my English is poor.
Find your hobbies,discover something what can make you happy.
Your have 2 daughters,I think this is your hope.

Find several friends,they aren't only humen beings,things can also.

 

[AngelWings]

Thank you, I have a couple of friends but they don't live close to me so it makes it hard, but they do keep me going in times of trial.
I love my daughters, they make life worth living and without them I probably wouldn't be here.

I really like your last sentence, about finding friends in something human being or something else.
So thank you for sharing that with me.

---

Thank you, I have a couple of friends but they don't live close to me so it makes it hard, but they do keep me going in times of trial.
I love my daughters, they make life worth living and without them I probably wouldn't be here.

I really like your last sentence, about finding friends in something human being or something else.
So thank you for sharing that with me.

 

[Callie]

I understand everything you said. I was there once, well, the husband part anyway as I still don't have friends.
Anyway, just remember that marriage is supposed to be comprised of the good and the bad and whatnot. You're down... we all get there. Pick yourself back up, get happy, go out and have a good time. I don't think you're destined to be alone, I think you just need a life...separate...from him and your daughters. No I'm not saying a second life where you go out and have a boyfriend and more kids. I'm saying you need to go out and get hobbies that don't may not include them, such as a book club or joining a gym or sewing if that's your thing. Just something you can do once or twice a week to have time to yourself without all the responsibilities. This will also enable you to make friends that may become true friends.

Oh and welcome to the forum

 

[I'm Fine]

No. You're not the only person that feels that way.

I'm married with one child and I know how you feel. Have you tried talking to him about how you feel?

Welcome to the forum btw.

 

[Badjedidude]

Welcome to the site, AngelWings.

 

[floffyschneeman]

Welcome to the forum I can't share good advice for this kind of situation as I am not sure if I am in the position to do so, being someone who hasn't experienced it first hand or haven't come close. But I don't think anyone is destined to be alone. Sometimes it's also our mindset that's blocking our chance to find friends. Building friendship takes effort on both sides, so maybe it might help if you start to believe you can find a real friend, in your husband or current friends, or in someone you will still meet.


You can be happy, you have lotsa reasons to be happy, already. *hugs*

 

[missymessy]

From reading your post, I feel like...it's not that your husband deserves someone less depressed - it's that you deserve to be a less depressed person.
Sort of, maybe you can't connect with others completley because you're subconciously bogged down with depression - especially if that depression is making you not see/display your self worth.

Does that make sense?
x

 

[Twilight Sky]

There's a saying..2 actually.

If one cannot accept everything, a relationship cannot work.
If one demands you to change, he or she is not the one you should be with.

That being said, you better sit him down and lay all the cards out for him. Let him know that if he does not start accepting the whole you, expect the marriage to end soon.. Because you have to put up with his faults too, and you don't make a big stink of it.

 

[RavenQuill]

I have experienced this same loneliness while married. My husband married me for his landed papers. Silly me, I thought he loved me. I was 18 and very naive. Anyway, he left me alone a lot. He was very jealous and became abusive. I spent 5 years in that marriage, disconnected from my family and the world, and experienced some of the lowest times in my life. Today, I can't seem to allow myself to get too close to anyone. I've been divorced for almost 29 years now and I'm still alone. I don't have any quick-fix answers for you. But I do know you have to take things one step at a time. If you struggle with making friends, just concentrate on meeting one person, doing one thing with that person, something simple like going out for coffee. Once you take that one step, you will feel the needed confidence to take the next step. It's a process that takes time. You won't get over these feelings you are having over night. Be patient with yourself and allow yourself to take as many little steps as you need. You're worth it.

Best wishes.

 

[rosebud]

We are social animals. Feeling lonely isn't our natural condition. It's an indication that you're not happy with your life. Something is missing for you. You have to analyze your feelings, thoughts and figure out what it is. A little self-therapy never hurts.