astraea said:
lifestream said:
Yikes! He sounds like kind of a creep.
Is this the first time she's dated a guy you've found objectionable or does she tend to go for the wrong guys?
No. Her last boyfriend turned into a total jerk. He would try and get her to do things she didn't want to do with him (sex) and when she didn't, he'd get violent and say she didn't love him passionately. She would always say he stressed her out and when I asked why she didn't leave she said she was afraid to be single again because she didn't think she'd find anyone else. She's only 18 for crying out loud! After they broke up she got with the 26 year old about 2 weeks later. Even some of my other friends said they don't approve because they can see her getting hurt in this relationship and I can too. There's nothing I can do about it though. She's fallen head over heels completely. Nothing I say matters.
WallflowerGirl83 said:
This has happened to me in the past, and there's many men who I've dated in the past and it didn't work out between us. My friends are always important to me and always comes first before my boyfriend does. I'm sorry you're friend did this to you and should value you're friendship. If you've already discussed this with her already, I would wait for her to come around. Just tell her how you feel, friendship should be valued and she should be putting you first cause who know how it'll turn out with this guy. Let he know you're feelings when she comes around around. Feel free to send me a message if you need someone to talk too. =)
The two quoted posts above are just samples of why I stay out of other people's relationships, even if one or both are friends. I know it's not up to me to decide what is best for either people within their relationship. And the best part about being a friend and being outside of that relationship as it's not yours to be in, is the simple fact that you can choose to not be bothered by it.
And what I mean by that is, you can decide whether or not you would even like to get your hands dirty with it. It's one thing to listen to and offer advice to someone, a friend, a co-worker, but it's something completely different having an actual say in a relationship. You don't have a say in your friend's relationship, so you have that option to take your hand out of the pot. Sure, you can listen to her, give her your best advice. But that's the most you can really do anyway.
Staying out of a relationship that doesn't involve you is the best advice I could ever offer someone, and I offer these words because it's what I do. Sure, I'll listen and offer my best, unbiased opinion and thoughts, but I will
never sit there and think that it's my business to get into.
But you have that option. Use it wisely, whether or not you like the guys she's with, and whether or not you approve of the paths she decides to take with each guy.