8monthsapart
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- Apr 13, 2010
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Since young at 16 i lost my parents. I lost everything... Had to work for poly and my daily expenses. Worked hard and saved up with some money. Worked plenty of jobs all different kinds in order to survive. Finally 1 day i thought of doing somthing so i started a business with a fren not long ago dealing with IT related stuff. Floped cos of partnership and there goes my life savings...
Till when i was lowest i met this gal. This beauitful thing that i have ever seen. She looks **** cute but shes abit plump to others. But for me shes perfect i dunno why. Helped her got through her own relationship problems and then i grew amazing affectionate towards her. Ended up we became cpls. She didnt have a long relationship for more then a month since her first bad relationship which last 3 yrs due to the guy's betrayal... She was skeptic towards my feelings for her and our relationship. She gave it a try after all! Starting was tedious but i amazing love her so much i can give in to her like no other guy can. Keep loving her more and more each and every single day. Everytime i see her i fall in love with her deeper and deeper. Till recently its been 10 months that we had been together. She acknowleged my love for her and she regained her faith in love too. Although ups and downs, happy and sad, good times and bad we been through things together. We were deeply in love and promised to be engaged at our 1st year together. That was the happiest thing i ever since. Finally i met my soul mate and i am not alone anymore. I gave up alot for her and so did she and we managed to be.
Thats what i thought... After my failure i have'nt really picked myself back up but i have been really happy with her and just she being beside me i dont need anything else. But sadly her parents dislike me cos they are a rich family and i am nothing. Pressure from her parents cos of her actions when she was young and her being with me made them nag at her everyday. Making her unhappy and the family didnt have peace. They ask her to stay away from me and say that i am nothing. I didnt care cos i wanted to marry her and not the parents. But i didnt think about her stand at home. She loves and respects her parents deeply too. It made her very unhappy and sometimes fustrates at me but i didnt mind. But was that right it was not fair to her. Until recently she finally followed her parents plan and went to their office to work and our relationship went underground. On the surface we are over the the parents but we are still contacting each other and that was the only consolation i had! Weird thing is being at office she received lesser nags from her parents and they became more loving and attentive to her and her needs. She found peace in her family and her. She also went from night owl to a normal and hardworking person. Did things which she hated alot like working and studying. She BECAME a better person after we went underground. Due to our relationship she has to contact me lesser and act more coldly towards me to not let the parents find out and ruin this small happiness that she so dearly has found.
Starting i didnt want to go with it but after seeing her being so much better i had to accpet it. It was better for her to contact me less and things improved for the better of her life. Till today i was restricted to not contact her at all cos her parents say that we do not match in our chinese zodiac. Fortune tellers say that i will bring her bad luck unhappiness and even death cos of an illness she had and this year is the worst of all if she really wants to be with me i had to wait for the next year. It seemed true enough that now cos everything for her turned for the better. I loved her more then anything and was proud of her. I know she still loves me and for me my love for her has always burned truly madly deeply. Now what for me then??
I went back to full time job hunting cos its time i saved up and settle down. But without her in my life it seems so meaningless. Its like i have nothing to look forward to and nothing to strive for. I have based half my life on doing IT related stuff and that my pride. Though its been rusty but i still have my basics. I started to work with a friend and help a company fix up computers and wanted to set up wireless networks. Nothing went the way i wanted. Total loss of confidence. Undecisive decision. Cant concentrate and just today i so called finished my project it didnt seem formal. Nothing was fully completed. I didnt have my brain to work normally and the getback pay was not optimal. It was low...
Not long from now i so finished the computer setup and i was walking alone on the streets with what my gal had said to me. She wans time for her own and wans a temporary break for 8 months till next year. Which means no meet up no contact no sms no nothing. Thinking about this tears flowed out of my eyes and the meaning of my life was gone. It couldnt be controlled and tears keeping rolling down my cheeks while i was walking within the bustling streets of singapore. Things of her getting a better life without me made me jealous and envious but its for her good. I cried, didnt break down but just cried. My life seems so nothing and unmeaningful. Death came to my mind. Since i dont have anything left in this world money nor ppl who i cared just might as well. I dunno if this is called depression but i was confused lost. WTH was i doing all these years. Ppl my ages has a place with vechicle and a career..... What do i have..... NOTHING! ABSOULUTELY NOTHING!
I am sooo lost and confused yet i cant do anything about it. I dont have money and its hilarious. I dont have a basic place to stay and money to continure life for. What should i do what am i now and what should i be thinking or doing??? Someone pls anyone..... Should i consult professional help???
Till when i was lowest i met this gal. This beauitful thing that i have ever seen. She looks **** cute but shes abit plump to others. But for me shes perfect i dunno why. Helped her got through her own relationship problems and then i grew amazing affectionate towards her. Ended up we became cpls. She didnt have a long relationship for more then a month since her first bad relationship which last 3 yrs due to the guy's betrayal... She was skeptic towards my feelings for her and our relationship. She gave it a try after all! Starting was tedious but i amazing love her so much i can give in to her like no other guy can. Keep loving her more and more each and every single day. Everytime i see her i fall in love with her deeper and deeper. Till recently its been 10 months that we had been together. She acknowleged my love for her and she regained her faith in love too. Although ups and downs, happy and sad, good times and bad we been through things together. We were deeply in love and promised to be engaged at our 1st year together. That was the happiest thing i ever since. Finally i met my soul mate and i am not alone anymore. I gave up alot for her and so did she and we managed to be.
Thats what i thought... After my failure i have'nt really picked myself back up but i have been really happy with her and just she being beside me i dont need anything else. But sadly her parents dislike me cos they are a rich family and i am nothing. Pressure from her parents cos of her actions when she was young and her being with me made them nag at her everyday. Making her unhappy and the family didnt have peace. They ask her to stay away from me and say that i am nothing. I didnt care cos i wanted to marry her and not the parents. But i didnt think about her stand at home. She loves and respects her parents deeply too. It made her very unhappy and sometimes fustrates at me but i didnt mind. But was that right it was not fair to her. Until recently she finally followed her parents plan and went to their office to work and our relationship went underground. On the surface we are over the the parents but we are still contacting each other and that was the only consolation i had! Weird thing is being at office she received lesser nags from her parents and they became more loving and attentive to her and her needs. She found peace in her family and her. She also went from night owl to a normal and hardworking person. Did things which she hated alot like working and studying. She BECAME a better person after we went underground. Due to our relationship she has to contact me lesser and act more coldly towards me to not let the parents find out and ruin this small happiness that she so dearly has found.
Starting i didnt want to go with it but after seeing her being so much better i had to accpet it. It was better for her to contact me less and things improved for the better of her life. Till today i was restricted to not contact her at all cos her parents say that we do not match in our chinese zodiac. Fortune tellers say that i will bring her bad luck unhappiness and even death cos of an illness she had and this year is the worst of all if she really wants to be with me i had to wait for the next year. It seemed true enough that now cos everything for her turned for the better. I loved her more then anything and was proud of her. I know she still loves me and for me my love for her has always burned truly madly deeply. Now what for me then??
I went back to full time job hunting cos its time i saved up and settle down. But without her in my life it seems so meaningless. Its like i have nothing to look forward to and nothing to strive for. I have based half my life on doing IT related stuff and that my pride. Though its been rusty but i still have my basics. I started to work with a friend and help a company fix up computers and wanted to set up wireless networks. Nothing went the way i wanted. Total loss of confidence. Undecisive decision. Cant concentrate and just today i so called finished my project it didnt seem formal. Nothing was fully completed. I didnt have my brain to work normally and the getback pay was not optimal. It was low...
Not long from now i so finished the computer setup and i was walking alone on the streets with what my gal had said to me. She wans time for her own and wans a temporary break for 8 months till next year. Which means no meet up no contact no sms no nothing. Thinking about this tears flowed out of my eyes and the meaning of my life was gone. It couldnt be controlled and tears keeping rolling down my cheeks while i was walking within the bustling streets of singapore. Things of her getting a better life without me made me jealous and envious but its for her good. I cried, didnt break down but just cried. My life seems so nothing and unmeaningful. Death came to my mind. Since i dont have anything left in this world money nor ppl who i cared just might as well. I dunno if this is called depression but i was confused lost. WTH was i doing all these years. Ppl my ages has a place with vechicle and a career..... What do i have..... NOTHING! ABSOULUTELY NOTHING!
I am sooo lost and confused yet i cant do anything about it. I dont have money and its hilarious. I dont have a basic place to stay and money to continure life for. What should i do what am i now and what should i be thinking or doing??? Someone pls anyone..... Should i consult professional help???
