Mail Order Brides

[tehdreamer]

This may have nothing to do with the topic but... "The Situations" or "George Clooneys".... ewwwwwww I prefer my "Jack Black's" and "Fran Kranz's"

 

[Vic Sage]

or whether this was just a decades long con by the Russian mob/government.

I'd put my money on this one, personally.

I don't know. I think that's personally placing a lot of faith in the efficiency of the Russian mob and the Russian government, which collapsed twenty years ago. Mail order agencies are older than that. Not to mention placing almost no faith in our own system. If this really was a grand conspiracy, we'd be overrun like "Red Dawn" by now!

I think you have to take it on a case by case basis. Yeah, some 22-year-old drop-dead gorgeous Romanian is not going to be thrilled with her 47-year-old computer programmer husband and is going to leave him for the Ukrainian busboy at the bar where she works just as soon as she's able.

But the 35-year-old wanting a husband and kids and living in an area with few to no dating options would probably love the shot of marrying a gawky but kind 26-year-old. Plus, some of them are already college-educated, so they're not looking to be trophies. At least according to my dimly remembered documentary.

 

[Badjedidude]

So for the record, please don't lump me in with someone who wants to buy a wife. My last two relationships were very feminist in that the lady ran everything.

I don't think anyone's attacking you here, man. Chill a bit.

I just think, and reading some of these posts on here, that there is a whole world out there, and people fall into each other's lives for different reasons. There are posters on here that are lonely, who see no one for them. Why couldn't there be someone in South America or Eastern Europe or Asia, etc, who perhaps is raised in a different culture than ours, who would value someone perhaps not as socially graceful or aesthetically pleasing? Devil's advocate.

This isn't in dispute. Of COURSE there are people from other countries who would like to get with people from different countries. That's natural.

What's being debated is the vehicle for those meetings between people of different nations. And I believe that the entire mail-order bride system is little more than a front for human trafficking. That's what's being debated here.

I've thought about marrying women from other countries before, but I would never, ever use a mail-order system. If I were truly interested in the idea, I'd pony up some cash and fly to visit her like a man. Not sit at home and "order" her or pay to email her like she was an object being sold by some agency based halfway across the world.

I don't know. I think that's personally placing a lot of faith in the efficiency of the Russian mob and the Russian government, which collapsed twenty years ago. Mail order agencies are older than that. Not to mention placing almost no faith in our own system. If this really was a grand conspiracy, we'd be overrun like "Red Dawn" by now!

The Russian government didn't collapse. The USSR did. The modern Russian Federation is strong enough to be 2nd or 3rd in the world as far as superpower status. That crap about Russia being defunct and falling apart is just a bunch of leftover ego from the Cold War. Get the facts right.

But the 35-year-old wanting a husband and kids and living in an area with few to no dating options would probably love the shot of marrying a gawky but kind 26-year-old. Plus, some of them are already college-educated, so they're not looking to be trophies. At least according to my dimly remembered documentary.

Again, that isn't the issue here. I'm not saying that women in Russia or Kosovo or someplace don't want to find a husband in another country. Of course they might; that's their right. But how many of them would willingly sign up with a mail-order system? Because they don't get signed up for free, you know. They also pay for the "right" to be in the mail-order agency's database, if they're not simply being forced into it through debt reclaimation or subjugation.

 

[Vic Sage]

This may have nothing to do with the topic but... "The Situations" or "George Clooneys".... ewwwwwww I prefer my "Jack Black's" and "Fran Kranz's"

I put the Situation in there as a joke. Don't take anything I write too seriously! Unless I want you to. I'll try to let everyone know beforehand.

 

[cheaptrickfan]

This may have nothing to do with the topic but... "The Situations" or "George Clooneys".... ewwwwwww I prefer my "Jack Black's" and "Fran Kranz's"

George is sexy in that rogueishly terminal bachelor way, but The Situation? Colossal *********.

I'd rather have a "Viggo."

 

[Vic Sage]

So for the record, please don't lump me in with someone who wants to buy a wife. My last two relationships were very feminist in that the lady ran everything.

I don't think anyone's attacking you here, man. Chill a bit.

I just think, and reading some of these posts on here, that there is a whole world out there, and people fall into each other's lives for different reasons. There are posters on here that are lonely, who see no one for them. Why couldn't there be someone in South America or Eastern Europe or Asia, etc, who perhaps is raised in a different culture than ours, who would value someone perhaps not as socially graceful or aesthetically pleasing? Devil's advocate.

This isn't in dispute. Of COURSE there are people from other countries who would like to get with people from different countries. That's natural.

What's being debated is the vehicle for those meetings between people of different nations. And I believe that the entire mail-order bride system is little more than a front for human trafficking. That's what's being debated here.

I've thought about marrying women from other countries before, but I would never, ever use a mail-order system. If I were truly interested in the idea, I'd pony up some cash and fly to visit her like a man. Not sit at home and "order" her or pay to email her like she was an object being sold by some agency based halfway across the world.

Hey, I'm gellin' like Magellan, bro. I just want to clear the air before the air gets dirtied up.

And a lot of these agencies do encourage, if not make you, fly out there. I mean, even if you were a customer, why wouldn't you? Even the guys that write testimonies/appeared in the doc flew out there. The system's old enough that both sides want to test out the other to prevent gold-digging and spousal-abusing.

Like I said, the internet might be the death knell to these things.

---

This may have nothing to do with the topic but... "The Situations" or "George Clooneys".... ewwwwwww I prefer my "Jack Black's" and "Fran Kranz's"

George is sexy in that rogueishly terminal bachelor way, but The Situation? Colossal *********.

I'd rather have a "Viggo."

I like Clooney. He may have been born into riches and fame and genetics may have given him good looks, but he's got a brain and charm, and he's actually a talented director and actor. If someone left me for Clooney I should still be so honored.

 

[cheaptrickfan]

So for the record, please don't lump me in with someone who wants to buy a wife. My last two relationships were very feminist in that the lady ran everything.

I'm not, I just took issue with a few of the things you said about the concept of a mail order bride system harkening back to a quainter, old fashioned time, as if that were a good thing.

Perhaps there is a very good reason that it is old fashioned and, thereby, in the past.

A marriage ought to be a relationship of equals who actually care for one another, but I guess I'm some crazy idealist.

 

[Badjedidude]

Like I said, the internet might be the death knell to these things.

You're probably right about that. I can't see it going on when internet access is more and more available to people, and social networking sites being so common.

I say good riddance to the mail-order thing. *shrug* It just seems wrong all around, if not downright criminal.

 

[cheaptrickfan]

If someone left me for Clooney I should still be so honored.

lol oh, sure! You say that now... in the abstract! It would still suck to heave your spouse leave for for anyone, even someone as fabulously talented as George. ;-)

 

[Badjedidude]

George isn't that talented. o_o Or handsome, IMHO. lol

As a side note, WOW this thread is MOVING! FAAAASSSTTT!!!

 

[Vic Sage]

George isn't that talented. o_o Or handsome, IMHO. lol

As a side note, WOW this thread is MOVING! FAAAASSSTTT!!!

I feel honored to have started such a debate. I'd really like it (not for ego purposes) if it spread around and we could get some different opinions. Maybe from guys that have tried it, defenders, critics, etc. It definitely touched a nerve and I think it's a notable topic for a lonely forum, along with depression, suicide, etc that I see others struggle/discuss.

 

[cheaptrickfan]

George isn't that talented. o_o Or handsome, IMHO. lol

As a side note, WOW this thread is MOVING! FAAAASSSTTT!!!

He's dreeeeeeeeeeamy! *swoon*

Though as I mentioned upthread, (you're right this thread is speeding right along) if I had to cop to a celebrity crush, it is totally Viggo Mortensen: he's an artist, a poet, a musician... he's a goddamn Renaissance Man.

PLUS, he's mighty easy on the eyes.

 

[Vic Sage]

So for the record, please don't lump me in with someone who wants to buy a wife. My last two relationships were very feminist in that the lady ran everything.

I'm not, I just took issue with a few of the things you said about the concept of a mail order bride system harkening back to a quainter, old fashioned time, as if that were a good thing.

Perhaps there is a very good reason that it is old fashioned and, thereby, in the past.

A marriage ought to be a relationship of equals who actually care for one another, but I guess I'm some crazy idealist.

Well, perhaps I should have explained my concept of quaint and old-fashioned. I consider racism and anti-semitism as quaint and old-fashioned, and I'm definitely no Mel Gibson (topical reference bonus!).

I think the terms shouldn't exclusively be used for the celebratory aspects of things from the past. Obviously I think telegrams are neat, and always got a kick out of seeing Superman dash into a phone booth, but I'm also glad we live in a world with the option of increased communication and where people from different races, sexualities and religions are more accepted, though obviously not to as full of an extent as I would like.

 

[cheaptrickfan]

Well, perhaps I should have explained my concept of quaint and old-fashioned. I consider racism and anti-semitism as quaint and old-fashioned, and I'm definitely no Mel Gibson (topical reference bonus!).

I think of "quaint" as something old-fashioned but endearing. Perhaps that's where the problem lies, in connotation and definition. I see nothing quaint about racism and bigotry.

So when you said this:

It's still an interesting concept to me. It seems almost quaint and old-fashioned in a way...

...it seemed to me that you were viewing it with the fondness one might have now for rotary phones.

When I said:

"Quaint and old-fashioned," like women being treated like chattel? I'll pass, thanks.

I suppose I neglected to add a sarcasm tag and snarky "air quotes." Mea culpa.

And Mel? Wow, he gained about a million ********* points for his latest rants.

 

[Vic Sage]

Well, perhaps I should have explained my concept of quaint and old-fashioned. I consider racism and anti-semitism as quaint and old-fashioned, and I'm definitely no Mel Gibson (topical reference bonus!).

I think of "quaint" as something old-fashioned but endearing. Perhaps that's where the problem lies, in connotation and definition. I see nothing quaint about racism and bigotry.

So when you said this:

It's still an interesting concept to me. It seems almost quaint and old-fashioned in a way...

...it seemed to me that you were viewing it with the fondness one might have now for rotary phones.

When I said:

"Quaint and old-fashioned," like women being treated like chattel? I'll pass, thanks.

I suppose I neglected to add a sarcasm tag and snarky "air quotes." Mea culpa.

And Mel? Wow, he gained about a million ********* points for his latest rants.

I find lots of morbid things interesting, which doesn't advocate endorsement. As previously mentioned, I once visited a suicide support site. I've never seriously contemplated it, but I objectively realize that others have killed themselves for less than what I go through.

I also once had the urge to volunteer at a drug treatment center due to an interest in addiction. I've never been addicted, I don't relish or take pleasure in it, but it still interests me as a concept.

I hope I'm making sense. Probably not. Sigh.

 

[cheaptrickfan]

I find lots of morbid things interesting, which doesn't advocate endorsement.

Sure, finding something interesting, I get.

For me though, if I said something was "quaint," it implies more than objective interest, that's all. As I said, we might have a different definition of "quaint."

No worries. I'll stop dissecting language now. lol Sorry, when I get my teeth into a word usage situation, it can be hard for me to let go... it's the English teacher in me.

 

[sunbeam]

It's not like all eastern european women dream about prince prince on a white horse from west

I agree. That just happens to be a fantasy of many western men, because we see that so many eastern european women are very, very pretty! lol

Yeah you're right, we are haha and we can cook too... and bake, well at least me but let me quode the only one saying I remember from english lessons that I think fits into this topic
" the grass is always greener on the other side of the fence" Maybe everything what you're all guys looking for is under your nose. Well I have no idea how does mail order work, but...if you pay for love isn't some kind of prostitution.

 

[Lonesome Crow]

It's creepier to be with someone that you belive turely loves you.
A decade and million dallor later..you still get screwed.
I prefer to be kissed first before I get messed
At least mail in order brides there's no fucken broken promises or fualts hope

Until they take all your money and run off with someone else and they always have the option of divorce. Mail order brides are human too, so you can get screwed over just as easily by them as any other human being on this planet.

I think if you're going to take the risk of being with someone, they should at least not be someone you paid some company to ship to you.

Love is not free and it's not cheap.
Realistically, just dating a woman can get expensive (excluding time and emotional taxing). And a diamonnd is a girl's bestfriend
and all that good stuff. No...I don't need women to be sent to me, not if I have them stalking me

No, my ex-wf didn't take all my stuff and ran off with someone.
She said "half"...
I said "fresia it..take it all" After I broke everything though.lmao
Of corse I nevered wanted to divorce her when I married her. I figure we would be together forever.
She should had gotten the fucken clue that I nevered wanted to divorced her when I didn't showed up to my divorce hearing.lmao

A mail order bride is all good until she finds out about alimony
It would had at leaST saved me half the heartaches.

 

[cheaptrickfan]

" the grass is always greener on the other side of the fence" Maybe everything what you're all guys looking for is under your nose.

I have heard people claim that Western women or if you prefer, soul-crushing harpies, have terrorized and emasculated Western men to such an extent that they have to look elsewhere to regain their manhood. You know, the stunning Russian model who is also a neurosurgeon or the demure, subservient Korean sylph who longs to fetch her devoted husband his pair of slippers and ten to his every, every need, and so on.

Now, I happen to think that that idea has totally been sensationalized and blown out of proportion. Hell, I haven't emasculated a man in ages, I swear.

Or maybe it's because we're all supposed to be obese to the point of looking like Jabba the Hut? I forget.

Anyway, those are the two main reasons I have heard men give for forgoing women in their own country for more exotic fare:

1. We're man-hating harpies from Hell;

2. We're all too fat and ugly.

*yawn*

but...if you pay for love isn't some kind of prostitution.

That's what I'd say.

 

[EveWasFramed]

So for the record, please don't lump me in with someone who wants to buy a wife. My last two relationships were very feminist in that the lady ran everything.

I'm not, I just took issue with a few of the things you said about the concept of a mail order bride system harkening back to a quainter, old fashioned time, as if that were a good thing.

Perhaps there is a very good reason that it is old fashioned and, thereby, in the past.

A marriage ought to be a relationship of equals who actually care for one another, but I guess I'm some crazy idealist.

Well, perhaps I should have explained my concept of quaint and old-fashioned. I consider racism and anti-semitism as quaint and old-fashioned, and I'm definitely no Mel Gibson (topical reference bonus!).

I think the terms shouldn't exclusively be used for the celebratory aspects of things from the past. Obviously I think telegrams are neat, and always got a kick out of seeing Superman dash into a phone booth, but I'm also glad we live in a world with the option of increased communication and where people from different races, sexualities and religions are more accepted, though obviously not to as full of an extent as I would like.

lol, perhaps instead of the word "quaint" you should have used "antiquated." Might have bene the better choice there.

As for the topic of discussion...

ANYTHING can be corrupted. Therein lies the problem.