Maybe I should grow up...

[Luke_S]

As some of you may know I've been ranting about my current life situation, with my career and finishing college, my direction and such.

Well I've been thinking, I think what might be causing this is just a fear of...living. Yeh, sounds pretty stupid, when life is all we have, but I dont know, I'm trying to dig deeper and find anything that is just underlying the excuses.

I've been considering it for awhile now, because it doesn't matter whether I go to University or not, I thought of what it would be like to be working a full time job 5 days a week, and for some reason I just...had a hard time conceptualizing something like that.

Ok, I'll be honest, I've always found it hard to hold down a job for a decent amount of time, but they were only part-time things whilst I was studying, and I was at an age where I didn't fully understand the importance of it all, well, I look back and laugh, I had some good times!

But now it's been a while, just over a year since I was earning and my student loan is pretty much drained so I pretty much need to make something of myself and be a **** working man about it.

For some reason though I'm finding it hard to fathom (lol good use of words) working a full time job, I have this thing where I think that my life goes by in weeks, and 5 days of that week are done working, then aren't we just living to work? But at the end of the day I realise this attitude won't get me anywhere, since to live, you need to make an earning, so therefore you need to work to live also.

And then theres that feeling that what you do in life actually means something, because your working a job that is of certain importance, and also, it makes the weekends a hell of a lot better, and it means you can go out more, enjoy yourself.

I've often told myself not to look for the end result of everything, all people want is money, well its the journey that counts. I guess I just want to be able to find that journey.

I've been feeling rather immature for a 20 year old, to not have a job, (even though I've been in higher education), but still a lot of my friends have kept there work for several years where I was too busy reading books hiding inside the storage room. But i'd love to be able to go out, get my own shopping, buy my own things, like I used to be able to do when I was 17 and didn't have a care in the world.

Most of all I'd like to start driving again, be able to take friends out, and be able to enjoy living in all its glory.

I've been telling myself to man up, theres even guys my age that have kids, and I'm sat here complaining, **** I'm lucky I even have someone to depend on or I'd be out on the street. I need to take action soon, there is nothing left for me on this level, I must climb higher...

 

[mead0wlark]

I'm the same way. I can't stand the thought of spending 1/2 of my waking hours working some crap job just to pay the bills. Everybody else seems to be able to suck it up and deal with it, even ENJOY it. I spend so much time dreading it, complaining about it, worrying about it, that I probably spend closer to 3/4 of my life working. I'm trying to get over it, but I'm still having trouble letting go of the "perfect life".

 

[Naval_Fluff]

Meh, people need to find jobs that they enjoy doing. You don't find many doctors that hate their jobs, or rock stars either. The doctors enjoy helping people and the rockstars enjoy making music, so it's not so much a job as a lifestyle.

 

[Brian]

Hey Luke,
I had similar apprehensions when I was 18ish. I had been a recluse basically for the prior five years, and I was a dropout, and here I was with this big unknown world sprawled in front of me. Even filling out my tax form seemed like a big step. Boy, was I uncomfortable. I had no idea what life on my own would be like.

My first real job was working in a sawmill. If you want to talk about working long hours at a job you hate and loathing every minute, a sawmill is the dictionary definition. It was the middle of winter and cold as hell. We stood in one place almost the entire day. The noise never stopped and out of a 10 hour day, you had one hour (30 minute lunch, 2x 15 minute breaks) to be away from it and be able to talk to other people who were just as miserable as you. And I saw guys who'd been at this for 20, 30 years. Some didn't care for it, but others were happy; they didn't have to go through lots of schooling to do this, and it was simple work that they could do and then go home to their families and their periods of off-time. It also presented some not-too-shabby promotion opportunities...a promotion to lead planer supervisor or de-barker operator meant a pretty nice wage hike.

Personally, I dreaded waking up every single morning.

Two months later I was gratefully out of there and out working in the woods. I was on a brush crew clearing the brush and bad trees out of patches of forest, building fire buffers and doing a little bit of logging. This had it's own difficulties. I was glad to be outside, somewhere different every day and able to MOVE! The trade-off was that it did get monotonous, it was HARD work, and we were in all of the elements. If it was cold and rainy, we were in it. If it was snowing, we were in it. When it was 100 degrees out and there wasn't even a hint of a breeze, we were in it and our water was warm by lunch time. More than once I found myself in robot mode, doing my thing and off in dreamland. The upshot was that I was making $13 an hour when I left, and I had flexible hours. Sometimes we were able to work weekends and make even more money, but if I needed a day for something I could work with the boss for it. Because I was one of the hardest workers, I had that privilege.

Throughout this, I was working towards my ultimate goal of working in fire/ems. I was on-duty with our local volunteer dept. every hour I wasn't working, and attended every class and training I could find. It is very important to identify and chase this goal, whatever it is in your life, because it will sustain you through those moments of hell, whether it's the tail end of your day at McDonalds or the first hours of a soaking-wet day on the steepest, ugliest hillside you've cleared brush from all month.

That, and the almighty dollar. It is important to make a plan for your money, and live by a set of financial rules; in this way you will gain the most from your labor. My rule is to set aside a minimum of $50 every paycheck, no matter what, unless I'm on shoestring unemployment. My current usual contribution is $100-$200. Doing this has let me buy fishing equipment for all seasons, a small boat and electric motor, a mountain bike, and lots of other little things. All stuff I LOVE to do. It's also helped me pay for college, though I tend to charge my courses to credit card then pay it off through the quarter.

Whatever's left is free game for groceries and whatnot, and of course I make sure I have enough for rent.

I lived at home for a while working that job until my relations with my step mom reached a boiling point two years ago. I was sick of her emotional rollercoaster and the tirades of guilt she heaps on to people to make every single problem be about her. So in less than 24 hours, I was absolutely on my own for the first time in my life.

I count myself lucky. In any other situation I would have been living out of my car. But my time with the fire department and the hours I've put in allowed me to work out a residency with the fire chief. I put my stuff in storage at my boss's shop and I lived at the station for several months (not really an uncommon arrangement...some departments achieve full staffing this way), which allowed me to be closer to what I love as well as ease in to life on my own until I found an apartment.

Which is where I am now.

It's had it's moments, but I look back and realize a lot of my fears weren't really warranted. At the end of the day, I actually like having a job no matter what it is, and I think you will too. What else was I doing with my day? Sitting around playing video games? Having a job and a proper financial plan actually enables you to do more with your free time...biking, fishing, reading, whatever; working lets me do those things, and makes them more enjoyable when I -am- doing them. And believe me, if you look at it from the same perspective I do, there is great satisfaction in supporting yourself once you've done it for a bit. Everything you do or have, you have claim to. It becomes your own life, and (barring any philosophies that support the notion of fate or destiny) you make of it whatever you can. It's freedom in the truest sense, I've found.


Some say that society has enslaved us. That true freedom would be to live on one's own, by your own laws, away from society and living off of the land. To a degree this is true; to live within society, there are laws we must abide by, and society has evolved in a way that we all rely on eachother to make or do different things, by which we collect a currency to exchange for the products and services of others. In this sense, I think we have a different type of freedom...the freedom to experience things we wouldn't if we were in hermitage. The freedom to experience real personal gain that WE have earned, not been given by the sweat of others, like we would in a socialist or communist society. I work my shift as an EMT, and earn a wage which I use to pay Dave the bike store owner for a bike, by which I turn my time worked in to enjoyment. Dave will do the same, in his own way.

But that's another post altogether and I don't want to derail the thread.

So yeah. It's a little hectic at first, but once you adjust it's alright. There are occasional moments where you won't be sure of the future...but I think we're ultimately better off carrying ourselves through them, instead of being caught unprepared or having to rely on others. And again, the key is to trudge through the stuff you have to suffer through with an ultimate goal in mind. Everything else is just a stepping stone...and will be valuable life experience as you go forward. I'm at least in my chosen field right now, but I'm glad I worked those honeysuckle jobs first. It made me a more mature person. It made me grateful for everything good, for the simplest pleasures like being able to strip out of my sopping wet, cold clothes after 7 hours and just sit in front of my heater or take a hot shower. It showed me what it meant to work, what it was to be a man. It showed me, ultimately, that we are capable of much more than we could ever give ourselves credit for, if only we jump in and try. And that's been just as valuable on my path in to emergency services as any Interior Attack training or Cold Water Exposure class ever will be.

So keep your head up. Walk like you mean it, and grasp the future. Choke it's ass before it can intimidate you in to inaction.

 

[cheaptrickfan]

My first real job was working in a sawmill. If you want to talk about working long hours at a job you hate and loathing every minute, a sawmill is the dictionary definition.

In my case, that would read "textile mill."

 

[cheaptrickfan]

As some of you may know I've been ranting about my current life situation, with my career and finishing college, my direction and such.

Well I've been thinking, I think what might be causing this is just a fear of...living. Yeh, sounds pretty stupid, when life is all we have, but I dont know, I'm trying to dig deeper and find anything that is just underlying the excuses.

I've been considering it for awhile now, because it doesn't matter whether I go to University or not, I thought of what it would be like to be working a full time job 5 days a week, and for some reason I just...had a hard time conceptualizing something like that.

You're not alone in this.

There is something inherently soul-sucking in committing yourself to being a responsible adult. One day you're starting a job and before you know it, 15 years have gone by, you're locked into a mortgage and an unhappy marriage, you have to "be there" (ie, not be insane) in order to be the best parent you can be for your kids, and then you realize that your life is in a rut leading you to the abbatoir.

Not that I've thought about this much, but my advice is: RUN AWAY! DON"T GIVE YOUR SOUL TO THE RAT RACE!

 

[Samuel]

I'm the same way. I can't stand the thought of spending 1/2 of my waking hours working some crap job just to pay the bills. Everybody else seems to be able to suck it up and deal with it, even ENJOY it. I spend so much time dreading it, complaining about it, worrying about it, that I probably spend closer to 3/4 of my life working. I'm trying to get over it, but I'm still having trouble letting go of the "perfect life".

Life will not be perfect, absolutely no ones life is perfect! You shouldn't be thinking that life should be perfect. I believe if life was perfect then life would be boring. You know what will happen around the corner.
Life has its ups and down, but that is life, no one said it was going to be easy.

I work 5 days a week. I fix appliances. I do more non electrical stuff that I do electrical. It does suck, but thats life. I am learning basic skills in areas I thought I would never have. I do have my problems with work, how it is run, what I do and what people say to me. I guess it is a joke to a certain extent, but yea. I just take it with a grain of salt and I know that when I finish I will be able to move on, start my own small business and work for myself (a dream). Though you have more to look after while owning your own business I am sure it beats working for anyone else.
As long as you have a good range of activities and are not concentrating on work every minute of life, it will be fine.
I am getting training in a field that I enjoy. Electrical. I love going to college each week and learn. This will help me in the future advancing through my Amateur Radio licences, and many other applications.

Having a job that you enjoy or even a part time one, that doesn't pay as much is far more important than being in one that you don't enjoy and getting paid more.

I never wanted to work in a factory, but I ended up getting a job in one for a year assembling high voltage lighting equipment before I got my apprenticeship. I copped a bit of honeysuckle, I complained and he got fired. The worst thing about the job is just the cold winters, playing with metal don't work together.

Definitely one thing about working all week is you look forward to the afternoons and weekends. I reckon it is a pretty good balance. Anymore and I would probably have problems.

You are never stuck in a job, you can always move on. Your first job will never be the one. And don't think it should be. Work for your goal!

You're not alone in this.

There is something inherently soul-sucking in committing yourself to being a responsible adult. One day you're starting a job and before you know it, 15 years have gone by, you're locked into a mortgage and an unhappy marriage, you have to "be there" (ie, not be insane) in order to be the best parent you can be for your kids, and then you realize that your life is in a rut leading you to the abbatoir.

Not that I've thought about this much, but my advice is: RUN AWAY! DON"T GIVE YOUR SOUL TO THE RAT RACE!

Is life supposed to be slow so you get more out of it?? A slow life to me means you are not enjoying it. A fast one means you are. It is how you use your time, time is exactly the same, even if it is going slow or fast. Just how you use it.
I would pick the fast life. Make sure I accomplish my dreams. Make them happen. Get out there and DO IT. Don't sit there thinking this is what I want. Trying to make time last longer.

Who said you will definitely end up in a unhappy marriage? I guess we all see how many other peoples marriages don't work out and why we all are scared of this failure. Life = Failure & Succeeding. Take the good with the bad. Life doesn't revolve around just succeeding. You make friends, you loose some. Life is about taking risks, there is always light at the end of the tunnel.

There are definitely issues with society today, the rat race. Buy this, buy that, you need this to be happy with your life, BUY BUY BUY! <---- I think that is one of the biggest issues today. Live simply
You need to be a doctor, smart help save people lives. It's not what everyone wants. There are many ways you can help people and work for a better community.

One job I don't think I would mind doing is being a posty

I had an indian friend, best mates through primary school and into early high school. Towards the end of school we didn't end up being friends. He just turned into a smart ass and I didn't like it, he thought he knew everything. I heard from my mum that she saw his mum in the supermarket and had a chat. And she wasn't happy with his score of 97% in school exams. They were pushing him to be something like a doctor / engineer. Which is definitely not right in my books.

Not everyone wants to start a family, or has the same goals. Maybe just a relationship. Whatever tickles your fancy in life. Just be positive and everything happens for a reason. Life does not suck. Take it one step at a time. You will never stop learning till the day you die.

Never stop dreaming, make your dream come true!

Samuel