We fell in love around december last year. I came to visit her in Michigan for a while, then she came to stay with me for a year. Well it was a pretty lazy year, mainly filled with being in love and entertaining ourselves. Finally we arranged for her to return home for a month to visit her family as she missed them very much. We both knew she would be back, but now she suddenly won't come back.
I feel betrayed, left out, and unloved, but she barely acknowledges this and even hung up when I told her. I mean we meant from being this close, to practically nothing in a second.
But heres the kicker: she doesn't want to break up, she just won't come back to me. She feels she is doing what is best for her. I asked her then to come back just for a month or so and I would feel less betrayed, she said shes considering it, but I doubt it will happen. Being back here again could make the decision harder as we would be all cozy and in each others arms again.
I find this situation very confusing. I asked and she said she would stay with me if I got an apartment in Michigan, but this would be a really big step for me. I live at home and had to deal with the tragedy of losing both my mother and father during highschool. I became depressed. I do have a highschool diploma, but I goofed off the whole time and got pretty lousy grades, and I haven't really worked much.
I live with my step grandfather and don't know what kind of job I could really get. I've been missing her so much while she was gone and waiting for her to come back. I haven't been coping with missing her very well, so I have fears that a sudden long distance relationship after being so close won't work. It might be better on me emotionally to break up and try to forget about her, but thats not what either of us wants.
Maybe I could move to Michigan (I live in Arizona) but my grandfather wants to move to Philly (and to be honest didn't even know about me being involved with someone. Shes not the kind of girl he would like either.)
So if I do move it would mean moving out on my own.
Additionally, this month ahs been hard. My best friend moved out of state to Iowa after his family broke up. Im suddenly all alone and I feel like shes broken my heart and doesn't care. So I don't even know if its worth it or not, but on the other hand she is overweight and got even worse here with me. She wants to try and do whats best for her and maybe that does mean leaving me and moving on.
She used to agree with me that if we ever broke up neither of us would ever want anyone else or love ever again. I have said constantly that its okay if she didn't feel that way, I wanted to make it absolutely clear that I did, it was not just some romantic pillow talk.
Now she believes that both of us could find someone new if that happens, or seems to. Something she said seemed to indicate that but I don't know for sure.
And some things seem like bold faced lies. When we were involved she spoke of going to college only a few times, but now it is apparantly her "lifelong dream" and I was supposed to know this and not even be surprised that this happened.
Shes also bi-polar, slightly manic, and has been abused as a child. We both had very sad lives, and now its like we didn't even meet. Her sister is mad at me because she gained weight. Yeah she hates my guts and thinks everything I say is just a lie, but then she also hates actual love and just indulges herself in casual sex, threesomes, etc. She'll plainly admit this, its like an insult or anything.
I just don't know what to do. She stays still loves me, but I just don't know if the love is there anymore. I feel I can't trust her to stick with important plans, thats for sure.
I feel betrayed, left out, and unloved, but she barely acknowledges this and even hung up when I told her. I mean we meant from being this close, to practically nothing in a second.
But heres the kicker: she doesn't want to break up, she just won't come back to me. She feels she is doing what is best for her. I asked her then to come back just for a month or so and I would feel less betrayed, she said shes considering it, but I doubt it will happen. Being back here again could make the decision harder as we would be all cozy and in each others arms again.
I find this situation very confusing. I asked and she said she would stay with me if I got an apartment in Michigan, but this would be a really big step for me. I live at home and had to deal with the tragedy of losing both my mother and father during highschool. I became depressed. I do have a highschool diploma, but I goofed off the whole time and got pretty lousy grades, and I haven't really worked much.
I live with my step grandfather and don't know what kind of job I could really get. I've been missing her so much while she was gone and waiting for her to come back. I haven't been coping with missing her very well, so I have fears that a sudden long distance relationship after being so close won't work. It might be better on me emotionally to break up and try to forget about her, but thats not what either of us wants.
Maybe I could move to Michigan (I live in Arizona) but my grandfather wants to move to Philly (and to be honest didn't even know about me being involved with someone. Shes not the kind of girl he would like either.)
So if I do move it would mean moving out on my own.
Additionally, this month ahs been hard. My best friend moved out of state to Iowa after his family broke up. Im suddenly all alone and I feel like shes broken my heart and doesn't care. So I don't even know if its worth it or not, but on the other hand she is overweight and got even worse here with me. She wants to try and do whats best for her and maybe that does mean leaving me and moving on.
She used to agree with me that if we ever broke up neither of us would ever want anyone else or love ever again. I have said constantly that its okay if she didn't feel that way, I wanted to make it absolutely clear that I did, it was not just some romantic pillow talk.
Now she believes that both of us could find someone new if that happens, or seems to. Something she said seemed to indicate that but I don't know for sure.
And some things seem like bold faced lies. When we were involved she spoke of going to college only a few times, but now it is apparantly her "lifelong dream" and I was supposed to know this and not even be surprised that this happened.
Shes also bi-polar, slightly manic, and has been abused as a child. We both had very sad lives, and now its like we didn't even meet. Her sister is mad at me because she gained weight. Yeah she hates my guts and thinks everything I say is just a lie, but then she also hates actual love and just indulges herself in casual sex, threesomes, etc. She'll plainly admit this, its like an insult or anything.
I just don't know what to do. She stays still loves me, but I just don't know if the love is there anymore. I feel I can't trust her to stick with important plans, thats for sure.