Might never see my gf again :(

[JustJones]

My girlfriend went home to Malaysia to visit her family a month ago and just 3 days before she was due to come back, her mother had a stroke and now it's looking really doubtful that my wonderful girl will be coming back anytime soon.
I feel really selfish that I'm feeling this fed up when she has all this stuff to deal with and all I want is to have her back with me.
I've waited my whole life to find a person I could connect with like this and we're very much in love but now it seems I might never see her again and I don't know what to do.
Ive spent the last 10 years in a pit of self pitty thinking that I'd never find love, and now I have, it's getting pulled away from me and the thought of my girl being in such a bad situation breaks my heart. I pray for her mum to start feeling better soon but every day she seems to get worse. I'm not sure what my point is in sharing all this, maybe Im just fishing for sympathy. All I know is that the love of my life needs me greatly and there's nothing I can do to help her. I feel so useless.

 

[Nyktimos]

It's not selfish to be concerned that you may not see your girlfriend for awhile; it just shows how much you love her, as does your feeling of helplessness. I feel really bad for you! It must be difficult. But give it time to see how things go. You may have to be apart for awhile, but love may still bring you back together. When it does, she will need you.

I wish you both the best.

 

[Aedammair]

Dude that really sucks. I agree with Nyktimos. It is not wrong to wish she was back with you. Try to keep contact with her.
Weekly emails or calls ect. Keep her in your mind and you in hers. Don't let distance draw you apart. That is the worst way to go

Aedammair

P.S.
if you are not dirt poor you could pull a romantic gesture and go there to Malaysia. I know it is expensive but I would frickin swim to malaysia to reach the girl that I love . I know it is a bit dramatic but I have always been a sucker for dramatic things. Best of luck.

 

[JustJones]

Thanks guys. Yeh we're talking on the phone every day, which is hellishly expensive but it's worth it to hear her voice.
I've been considering going over there, I can afford the flight(just) but I'm in a really important part of my final year at uni so i'm in a really tight spot. Come to mention it though.. I'm not doing any work anyway as my mind is elsewhere.
Anyway thanks for the support. Hopefully everything will be better soon so that I can see my girl again. I'll be a broken man if it doesn't.

 

[CDSM]

At least you are able to stay in contact.

Keep your hopes up. This doesn't need to be permanent. At least it's not one of those crazy, "I need to go find myself and travel the world and I don't know when I'll be back" kind of deals. She's got a sound reason and as long as she doesn't skip out on the contact, you'll be fine.

 

[shells]

It is a little selfish, but that doesn't mean it isn't totally wrong. You have your reasons... However, be aware that your girlfriend needs you to be strong for her right now.

She is probably under a lot of pressure. I had to break up with my boyfriend when my mother became very ill. The time apart made him paranoid that I had found someone else. Not true at all. I was too busy taking care of my mom. I wasn't in the mental state to deal with his insecurities, even though I tried to explain that I wasn't straying. A few months later after I broke it off with him, my mom died.

Just go with your best judgement and hang in there.

 

[JustJones]

It is a little selfish, but that doesn't mean it isn't totally wrong. You have your reasons... However, be aware that your girlfriend needs you to be strong for her right now.

She is probably under a lot of pressure. I had to break up with my boyfriend when my mother became very ill. The time apart made him paranoid that I had found someone else. Not true at all. I was too busy taking care of my mom. I wasn't in the mental state to deal with his insecurities, even though I tried to explain that I wasn't straying. A few months later after I broke it off with him, my mom died.

Just go with your best judgement and hang in there.

Aww, I'm so sorry to hear about your mum.
Sounds like that guy didn't deserve to be with you anyway, he should've tried to understand what you were going through.

I'm trying to stay as strong as I can, but I think I'm failing at the moment. I trust her completely, I just find it hard to deal with the frear of being lonely again. I spent the largest part of my life as a very lonely person and don't want to go back to being like that. Its a miracle that I ever met my gorgeous girl at all! and I love her for entering m life and making it better.
There is some good news though: she's trying to book a flight for 2 weeks from today. Its all very uncertain though as it all depends on if her mum gets any better (which she seems to be, very slowly) and if they'll actually exchange the ticket, which is fairly doubtful.

Ive got my fingers crossed though and hoping for the best. Thanks for the support guys. Its really nice to have someone to talk about this with

 

[lonewolf]

Hey JustJones just caught your message (been away for a bit) just want to say i totally agree with everything everybody above said, just hang in there, be there for her because shes needing your support too.

I was placed in a similar situation myself with my girlfriend, shes in the US and im in the UK, so its hard enough when we do get to be with each other having to leave the other behind, or seeing the other person disapear into the airport.. but her mum fell pretty ill with a tumor and had to have some pretty serious surgery.. she too made it through and is recovering slowly.. but i know how it feels wanting to be able to support her more and be there for her, and at the same time thinking that it might even take an impact on your relationship in some way.

Just keep being as good a man as you can be for her, keep your fingers crossed .. hope pray (if you do).. just dont forget that loves a strong thing and will come through, look after it well and it will endure.

 

[JustJones]

Thanks Lonewolf. Yeh I'm keeping positive. Infact it's looking like there's a strong chance I'll be seeing her in 2 weeks (touch wood!!!)

It's good to know I'm not alone. So is your girlfriend over in America perminently? Do you have any plans to see her in the near future?

 

[lonewolf]

yea she was born, lives and works over there, so far i have planned to go see her again next year late october, early november. Not too sure if i can get the time off work to see her before that

 

[JustJones]

wow thats harsh! so almost a year until you see her then. You're a bigger man than I. It pains me just to go a couple of months without her. I hope the time flies for you. How long will you be over there next october?

 

[blindkitty]

Take slow deep breath from time to time & think of great things you can do to put a smile on her face when she gets back

Stay strong

 

[The Lonely One]

Well at least you have a girl to care about, not like me I never had a girlfriend... ever, I am happy that you love her so much that you fell useless in her time in need even if she is not even in this country. It takes real love to show that kind of reaction. I wish I had at least 5 or 10 % of that love with someone. I am happy for you. (teary-eyed)

 

[JustJones]

Awww thanks Lonely One. I'm 25 and she's my very first girlfriend, so don't feel too bad. I've waited my whole life to meet someone like her and thats whats making it all so painful. Hang in there. Good things could be coming to you! I never expected to one day be loved by a beautiful Asian girl but somehow it happened!

Blindkitty: thats good advice hehe. If all goes well, she should be coming back in less than a week!! I've got my fingers crossed so hard, they've gone numb!. But yeh, we're gunna have some fun when she gets back I promise

 

[blindkitty]

Good god man! dont hold out on us,
what you got planned when she gets back?

im a sucker for the romance!

 

[JustJones]

Haha we've had a long talk on the phone about the "things" we're going to do together when she's back. Afterall...we've been apart for a while..and we're only human ;D hehe

 

[JustJones]

.....: just so you know..... SHE'S BACK NOW!!! YAY!!!!

 

[Nyktimos]

Very pleased for you, JustJones! Have a good time together!

 

[Aedammair]

congrats dude. I'm jealous. Wish your luck would spread to a couple of us. Is she staying around or is she going back at any point?


Aedammair