My Last Words

[Naval_Fluff]

Well....this is another poem about my breakup. Yes, I know I have been going on and on and on about this, but this poem is all I've got left to say, so you guys don't have to hear anymore about my ex. Rejoice!

Of empty words there is no lack
No changes do I see
Empty promises begin to stack
Did you truly ever love me?

I gave you my heart to hold onto
But instead you tore it up
There's nothing you wouldn't say or do
It never was enough

You led me to believe an intricate lie
A facade you hid behind
You've broken me down, invaded my life
My soul is empty and dry

I hate the way I love you so
I gave you all I had
And you took it all, you scavenging crow
For to you I'm just a fad

To you my love was just a game
Strings that you could pull
It suprises me not that you've no shame
Twas I that was the fool

I should have seen it from the start
The mischief in your smile
I'll attempt to mend my broken heart
But it'll be a long, long while...

Oh, and while I'm at it, I'd like to say thanks to everyone who helpd me through this. I've realised that I've got bigger and better things that I need to move onto. Thanks guys!

 

[sallekhana]

i got chills from reading this. that doesn't happen much.

---

very very good stuff. i wish i could write like that

 

[Naval_Fluff]

At least it had some effect There are so many over used metaphors in there though..I really need to be a little bit more original

 

[SophiaGrace]

"You led me to believe and intricate lie
A facade you hid behind
You've broken me down, invided my life
My soul is empty and dry"

Edit:

You led me to believe an intricate lie (an instead of and)
A facade you hid behind
You've broken me down, invaded my life (did you mean invaded?)
My soul is empty and dry

 

[Naval_Fluff]

lol yes, I meant invaded...thanks for that..I'm a pretty sloppy typer >.<

 

[SophiaGrace]

lol yes, I meant invaded...thanks for that..I'm a pretty sloppy typer >.<

could you repost the poem corrected??? please?

 

[Naval_Fluff]

I have edited out all the grammatical mistakes to my best knowledge. If anyone else sees anything wrong please let me know!

 

[sallekhana]

your a great writer. i'm very glad to see someone else other than me writing poetry on here. keep it up

 

[Naval_Fluff]

your a great writer. i'm very glad to see someone else other than me writing poetry on here. keep it up

Thanks man, I really apppreciate that, but you should check out some of Jesse's work if you have'nt already, his poems are amazing.

 

[SophiaGrace]

it's not half bad naval fluff, its not half bad bra-VO :3

 

[Naval_Fluff]

lol Thanks Sophia