My life is destroyed...

[Lonesome Crow]

The sedona methode helped me in not running with my negative emotions..therefore stops negative projections in my head.

Sometime the thughts comes first.
Ohter times the feelings comes first.
Thoughts and feelings will poping my mind all day long...
An estimate of 50K thoughts per day for an avergae person.
Bascially trainning or diciplining my brain to cast away neagtive thoughts or feelings....
The process is simple...
DONT FIGURE IT OUT and JUST DROP IT.

The BOOK...
What to say to yourself and talking to yourself...
Its to assist me in building positive thinking patterns or positive internal dialog. Read and follow the simple instructions .

In a nuts shell...Ive found a way to stop my fucken mind. And reprogramming it with positve re inforcememts.

Changing the way I think and believe..therefore changing the way I feel about myself. Therefore changing mylife.

Changes wont happen over night.
However my life and I ve changed for the better since Ive apply these two programs into my life.

 

[oopsiedoop]

You don't know what hurt is till someone you love goes off with someone just like you!

 

[Thesadman]

Lonseome Crow, thanks im gonna take a look at that program and oopsiedoop if my love was going out with someone like me i actually would be happy cause if they break up at least i had a chance than, but the guy is way diffrent so sincerely that´s what breaking my heart most, i think i have 0 chance right now

 

[oopsiedoop]

If you're not her type you had a chance but a small one. It's a big hurdle. It's like if you entered a marathon with no training, would you really expect to win? But if you lose by a second, yeah you come in second, but YOU COULD HAVE WON. That hurts. Or, back to real life: If a guy's, say, gay, I'm not going to be as hurt as if he's not!! Why didn't he choose me?? We're the same! That kind of thing really leaves you wondering.

 

[Thesadman]

If you're not her type you had a chance but a small one. It's a big hurdle. It's like if you entered a marathon with no training, would you really expect to win? But if you lose by a second, yeah you come in second, but YOU COULD HAVE WON. That hurts. Or, back to real life: If a guy's, say, gay, I'm not going to be as hurt as if he's not!! Why didn't he choose me?? We're the same! That kind of thing really leaves you wondering.

AH yes now i know what you mean and yes if something like that happens it probably is pretty hard

 

[Hawx79]

Thesadman im afraid im going to follow your path, there is this girl i really fancy and right now she doesnt have a friend so im still busy getting to her but im so afraid that another guy is going to beat me to it first and my heart just filles with sorrow just thinking about it, it feels like i would be left alone in a cold snow desert to die with no food...Thats how i would feel if im too late to get to her heart. God please help me...And you ofcourse

 

[oopsiedoop]

Why would she go for someone else sooner than you?

 

[Hawx79]

Why would she go for someone else sooner than you?

Because she is extremely beautiful and im just a freak compared to the other guys she can have!

 

[oopsiedoop]

Sounds like you think you have enough good qualities to win her over that others don't though.

 

[Thesadman]

Hawx that sounds very similiar to my case but i got to late... but now about your case, what do you mean by freak? Well as you sayd she has no friend so you should approach her before its too late... but plan before you do, don´t just go to her and talk, you sound like myself (no self confidence ) and there is a high probability it won´t work, you say you are a freak but maybe you are a handsome guy and you don´t know it... there are so much guys who think they are ugly even though they aren´t...

 

[Lonesome Crow]

I dont mean to sound like im gods gift to women. Maybe I am but thats beside the piont...

Its true..if a person is not going to accept you, they're not going to accept you. Its dosnt have anything to do wiith you. Once you can accept this, its freeing. You'll spend less time with negative thoughts about yourself or get into people pleasing behaviors.

At the sametime ,some pople will going to accept you.
It has nothing to do with gender.

Anyway, Im asian. Im short and wieght only a buck and a quarter.
All of the stereo typing bullshit??
Its totally fucken NULL to me.
My experince and evidence is to the contary.

Ive been approched or asked out by beautiful drop dead goregouse women all my life.
It gets to the piont of me coming off like a player, womenizer or sexest sometimes.

Btw..that beautiful babe on my signature is my duaghter.
She looks just like her mother.LOL

Her mom and I are in my avitar. Were very much in love.
She and I have a long history together. We were actaully HS sweetheart
Realtionship challenges save for another thread.

My piont is...I'm not a major hunk or my looks cuts through racial lines...
All that negative honeysuckle dosnt matter.

 

[man of one]

there is a girl who i love (she wasn´t my girlfriend) ... today i saw her with another guy who was much better than me.. man i feel like im breaking down, its like i don´t have any more reasons to live, she was the reason for everything usefull i do, and now everything is gone... everything i do feels like just another waste of time, i really feel very bad... never had a GF, i thought i finally found the perfect girl and now this happens, my life never has been something really great, there is something wrong with me everytime, im short which makes me have like 0 confidence so you can imagine that at college my life is just the same sad thing like out of college, 2 years ago i got rejected by every girl and i really mean every girl, i was short, ugly and fat... i worked so much the past 2 years and finally i am considered skinny and not that ugly anymore but still my life is just full of pain... im so young and i am allready suffering like hell because of this, any advise?

wow, i was in the exact same boat as you, a couple of days ago i wrote right on this forum about a girl i like, but found out later she had a boyfriend it was as horrible blow and i just got angry that every single girl i ever like is taken. Im also short and have Social Anxiety..but after blowing off some steam I just started studying, working on the car, hitting the gym and now i don't care anymore about any girl. I made a pact that im gonna focus on myself and start bettering every part of me for example im being more confident and open and hopefully this attracts girls towards me cause i am DONE with the chasing the girl crap; enough is enough, and since you seem to be my clone lol i suggest you try it with me .

 

[shernia]

In fact, the relationship between you and the girl is not very close. she has the rights to meet new guy and establish a link. However, i really can't understand why you are so self-deprecating. you are unique in the world. everyone has shortcomings and strongness. you need to see your advantages. Look forward, you will finally find sb you want to spend life with.

 

[Thesadman]

Lonesome Crow, i see you have a good life and from what you sayd im starting to agree with you and i hope i can change my mind since at the moment the negative thoughts just never stop, probably they will all go away with time but it will be hard since im a guy that doesn´t change his mind so easily

man of one, i need to admit you just reminded me of myself, i liked the part of focusing on myself cause thats what im trying to do to, like working gym and so on, a cause that made my life feel like hell was that when i was like 13-14 i got really fat and ugly and everyone started ignoring me, there was rarely a day when i was happy but in the past years i managed to lose my fat and so on but this love stuff is really hard to handle, lets see if with the time this feelings fade away slowly and that i gain more confidence like you ...

shernia you are right, people have disavantages and advantages, i have some advantages too like never give up on stuff and being determined (if it wasn´t for them i probably woudn´t have worked so much in the past years to get better) and disvantages too like my height (in this case i say height because what is really troubling my mind is the fact that i told you guys before, that the girl, when i saw her she was with a guy way taller than me, which made me feel not so well...) but hey lets hope you are right and i will someone perfect for me to spend my life with

 

[Hawx79]

Sounds like you think you have enough good qualities to win her over that others don't though.

Not really, all other men have much more to offer her then me but all i know is i love her so much and its driving my crazy so i need to try it or my mind will keep haunting me forever. And if she rejects me i dont think ill love anyone else ever in my life...I know i sound pathetic but its the way i just feel.

Hawx that sounds very similiar to my case but i got to late... but now about your case, what do you mean by freak? Well as you sayd she has no friend so you should approach her before its too late... but plan before you do, don´t just go to her and talk, you sound like myself (no self confidence ) and there is a high probability it won´t work, you say you are a freak but maybe you are a handsome guy and you don´t know it... there are so much guys who think they are ugly even though they aren´t...

Thanks for your advice and yes you are right i have low confidence but i couldnt live with myself if i didn't atleast tried to ask her and let her know how i feel for her so i have to strike soon while the iron is still hot before it is to late! But i am thinking and practicing on how to approach her and what to say.
With freak i mean, i have always been an outsider and different then most people and because im very introvert its also very difficult for me to open up to other people and socialize with them because im not a great talker either, im very forwarded and short when in dialogue with people.

 

[Thesadman]

Hawx, yea im kinda like that too and i understand what you mean, hope you get your thing done but trust me working on the self confidence is important, i have low confidence too and its very hard to have a good conversation with girls... i know its hard and have been trying to gain some more confidence and sure hope to achieve it soon, but from what i´ve seen lately having confidence in yourself will help you alot with that girl

 

[Hawx79]

but trust me working on the self confidence is important, i have low confidence too and its very hard to have a good conversation with girls... i know its hard and have been trying to gain some more confidence and sure hope to achieve it soon, but from what i´ve seen lately having confidence in yourself will help you alot with that girl

Then im screwed! My self confidence has been broken and dead for years, quess my hopes and expectations on being with that specific woman i really liked is just going to be another day dream of mine being splattered, and once again i feel like im on my knees again drownin in self pity and loneliness... My future is pretty clear for me now, i can see myself childless and living like an outcast with no friends or family as i am now already
My bleeding heart just dashed onto the rocks of loneliness...

 

[Thesadman]

Well you can´t give up now, i mean i have no self confidence, my life isn´t that great and im very shy... still i have friends and people who like me so don´t think self confidence is everything, you can´t give up... i just feel like my life is destroyed because the girl i love is with another guy and it really shocked my heart but hey you still have the chance, don´t do the same mistake as i did and just wait, wait and wait... you need to use your chance... (im not saying like today or tomorrow but continue to practice and when you think you are ready do it).. my mind is full of negative thoughts and you seem to have them too, but try to think of a positive one before sleep, try to imagine you aproach that woman and she likes you and even wants to hang out with you... i think like this many times and that makes me sleep at least with some happyness... im not a very lucky guy but maybe diffrent than me you are one.

 

[Lonesome Crow]

But if ask her out no matter what...that in itself is working on your confidence.

A lot of it has to do with Fears...
Courage is not without fears.
The biggest risk is not to take a risk at all
yeap..if you dont..that regret is worst than a hunted ghost sometimes..and its huanting you now in a lot of ways.

So all these feelings your going through is a motivation...if you learn how to read it right or use it to work for you.

Eventhough Ive been with Renae before.
All of these attributes I had to apply
even where I stand today.

Im risking all of me. becuase If I didnt
I wouldnt be able to live with myself.
No matter what anybody else thinks.
I love her more than anything..but I had to do it for me too. .

 

[Thesadman]

this is starting to make me insane, besides the problem that i explained about this girl, im having trouble in college... why do so many girls stare at me? I´m a guy with no self confidence like i told you and short and i catch so much girls stare at me, it makes me insane i mean what is wrong with me