My lonely intro

[Brianna-1982]

I just don't think I was made to be in a relationship. I suck at relationships! lol They just drain all of my energy away and make me unbalanced as a person. The serious relationships I've been in have all completely ruined my life. Now I realize that the price I pay for personal freedom is basically being alone most of the time.

I guess my life's purpose lies outside the realm of being in love, being socially active or even being socially accepted for the most part. I've been going against the status quo of society for so long that it feels normal to me. I used to think it was 'cool' but it isn't. I have no choice. It feels like it's always been that way.

Honestly I can't relate with people. When everyone else is laughing I'm usually not, and vice versa. I know I have a lot to offer people, but its like nobody knows how to accept them! People just don't know what to do with me, so they don't stick around very long.

I am also a transgender woman, and that has made things even more difficult. I tried for years to be happy as a man, and I failed miserably at it. I guess that is a story I will save for another post.

I have learned to love myself. Usually I am fine being alone, but there are times like now when the pain is almost unbearable. I just want people in my life!

My family is all Mormon and I grew up Mormon as well. I rejected the church when I was just 12 years old. It's been so difficult dealing with my family when all they ever want to do is bring me back into the church. So I've had to distance myself from them.

 

[Punisher]

Hi Brianna

Sorry for not having anything to say

 

[Garbageman]

Hi Brianna, welcome to the forum, and for opening up and sharing about yourself. Hopefully you can find some people here to connect with, and not only find support, but find people who can accept what you have to offer. Nice to have you here. Take care.

 

[9006]

Hello, welcome to the site.

 

[Alienated]

Hi Brianna... Wow, I know what you are dealing with coming from a Mormon back round, I lived in S.L.C. Utah for 18 years. I was never LDS, but was immersed in their culture. And know how strict, and judgmental they can be. I was shunned because the other kids were told I was a demon and had a tail !!

So going against the current was my normal too, I was a outsider everywhere, no matter what I did.

I can relate to that at least... Welcome

 

[ForGrantedWife]

I think it's very brave of you to be who you really are inside despite pressure from family and friends. And I can understand how it would leave you sort of alone in the world. Perhaps you'd do better in a different community where there is more acceptance and love? You could research online to find a more welcoming place for a transgendered person. This might lead you to real love maybe? And definitely friends who would understand just what you're going through. Just an idea.

 

[Sci-Fi]

Welcome to the forum, you are a brave person.

 

[Danielle]

Hi and welcome to the site Thank you for sharing info about yourself, you seem like a great person. I am sure you will find some great people here!

 

[Brianna-1982]

Thanks people!! I do feel welcome here! As strange as it may sound, I take comfort in knowing that other people experience pain like I do. I hope that my negativity about people and the loneliness I feel can be channeled properly in this forum.

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Hi Brianna... Wow, I know what you are dealing with coming from a Mormon back round, I lived in S.L.C. Utah for 18 years. I was never LDS, but was immersed in their culture. And know how strict, and judgmental they can be. I was shunned because the other kids were told I was a demon and had a tail !!

So going against the current was my normal too, I was a outsider everywhere, no matter what I did.

I can relate to that at least... Welcome

Yeah, it kind of wears you down being surrounded by those who do not respect your right to NOT be bombarded with religious teachings and 'fellowship.'

 

[ladyforsaken]

Hey Brianna, welcome to the forum! I hope you'll find some comfort in being here and be able to make some new friendships and talk to people you can relate to and connect with. Good luck.

 

[GraceBlossom]

Hi there and welcome .