My Mother Is Bipolar But Refuses Help

[LoneKiller]

Hi All.

This is certainly not one of my regular posts.

The doctor has diagnosed my mother as "Bipolar" but she won't take the medication offered to her. As a result, her mood swings are frequent, and she takes that anger out on the rest of the family. Doesn't even ******* apologize either.

I love my mother more than anyone, but she knows that she needs help, yet refuses to get any. Every time I ask her how she is, she just says that's she fine. I'm starting to get very angry.

How am I supposed to feel sympathetic to someone who knows that they need help and refuses to get any? I mean what the hell am I supposed to do?

 

[Callie]

Perhaps she has reasons that are unknown to you for refusing to take the medication that could help her. One suggestion I would give you is to maybe research natural alternatives for treatment, she may take more kindly to those.

 

[Ox Blood]

From what I have witnessed and heard... The medication used to treat Bi-Polar Disorder can be brutal stuff. Yes, it may stabilize the person, at the cost of turning them into a shell of a human being. They are also toxic to the body and harsh for it to filter out. That being said -- they can also lead to addiction... Which is problematic if the medication ceases to be effective. It's disheartening to see someone struggle with a mental disorder. Especially since you are battling an illness that cannot be seen.

It's not a fun road... I wish I had more useful or constructive advice.

You may want to try purchasing books on the matter. I did a lot of reading in my former relationship as well as a lot of research to understand my father's mental health better. And to be honest, I hardly think I've scratched the surface in trying to understand or how to approach it myself. I have also suspected I may have inherited it... But am not actively pursuing treatment or diagnosis.

Support is crucial. And patience... Both things which can be hard. Especially with the notion that you cannot help someone that does not want to be helped.

 

[Sci-Fi]

Yeah, what Callie said. Maybe she just doesn't like the idea of being on medication or being diagnosed being Bi Polar. She could be in a denial stage right now. When was she diagnosed?

 

[LoneKiller]

Yeah, what Callie said. Maybe she just doesn't like the idea of being on medication or being diagnosed being Bi Polar. She could be in a denial stage right now. When was she diagnosed?

About a year ago. Her "Lows" are getting worse. She's getting angrier all the time. I don't want to lose my mother.

---

Perhaps she has reasons that are unknown to you for refusing to take the medication that could help her. One suggestion I would give you is to maybe research natural alternatives for treatment, she may take more kindly to those.

Hmmm.. Never thought of an herbal alternative.

 

[VanillaCreme]

My cousin refuses to take her meds for her bi-polar moods, and takes it out on my mom. My mom basically raised my cousin since she was two, so that's over 30 years of being close to someone. However, because of my cousin's attitude and emotional swings, my mom is about done with her. I told my mom that if she continues to be that way, to just not talk to her. Because when my cousin is on her meds, she's fine. I don't really care about it enough myself to tell her something about it, but I am about to tell her not to talk to mom in the manner she is, because I don't appreciate that.

I don't know your mom, but perhaps she just needs to be talked to by everyone she takes her mood swings out on. Maybe they should tell her how they feel and how they shouldn't have to put up with that. Because it's no one's fault. Something may just click with her and she'll tend to finding some treatments, whether it be a natural one or her meds.

I can tell you though, that getting angry with her won't help. I learned that with my mom very fast. It took a while, but my mom does anything that's she's medically told to do. I think that she needed to realize that we wouldn't intentionally hurt her or do harm to her. Perhaps your mom just needs to realize the same. It's hard to break out of everyday life, and jump into something normally has never happened before - such as taking medications.

 

[Felix]

I have similar situations with my dad. Tough is (apparently) not as bad as yours LK. He's overweight and sometimes I talk to him, try to get him to go to a gym. It's ridiculous cuz he's already a member of a very nice, classy gym...Yet he doesn't go, I even tell him to go with me (I'm a member too) but he refuses, always says his blood tests are fine but I see just how fat he's getting and I think to myself "that can't be healthy...".

I guess you can't really make a person do something if they deny it so vehemently. But you can talk to them once in a while, not putting too much pressure, giving them space. The denial can seem stupid, and it probably is... but you kind of have to pretend a bit so they don't get offended. Be respectful of their choices, see how the other person feels...

Hopefully giving it some time, they'll come around.

 

[LoneKiller]

Just wanted to thank you all for your taking the time to help me. It's this kind of thing that attracted me to this forum, yet I fear that it's dwindling as of late

 

[SophiaGrace]

Just wanted to thank you all for your taking the time to help me. It's this kind of thing that attracted me to this forum, yet I fear that it's dwindling as of late

You should make more threads asking for help. Or, post in the issues section more.

There are some lovely members in those sections.

 

[Poguesy]

Hope it all works out in the end for ya, pal

 

[Blue_Eyed_Symphony]

I know exactly what you are.going through. My mother is bipolar, schizophrenic, and has a split personality disorder. Instead of taking the mess she needs, she induces alchohol and drugs that make it worst. I'm here for you if you need to talk because I completely understand.

 

[Ashariel]

I'm really sorry you're having to deal with that.

I'm bipolar - and I have Asperger's - two conditions that are associated with being emotionally unstable and having poor social skills. But having these conditions is no excuse for treating other people badly!!!!!

Your mother may struggle more than most people, with painful emotions she doesn't want to have... But it doesn't give her the right to blow up at other people. She can't help her feelings, but she CAN control her behavior, which she clearly needs to work harder at.

Someone needs to seriously talk to her about this, and make it clear to her that this behavior is unacceptable. I don't know if you're the best person to do that, or if there's someone else who is in more of a position of authority... But she needs to know that she's hurting others, and has to take more responsibility for herself.

*hugs*

 

[LoneKiller]

I'm really sorry you're having to deal with that.

I'm bipolar - and I have Asperger's - two conditions that are associated with being emotionally unstable and having poor social skills. But having these conditions is no excuse for treating other people badly!!!!!

Your mother may struggle more than most people, with painful emotions she doesn't want to have... But it doesn't give her the right to blow up at other people. She can't help her feelings, but she CAN control her behavior, which she clearly needs to work harder at.

Someone needs to seriously talk to her about this, and make it clear to her that this behavior is unacceptable. I don't know if you're the best person to do that, or if there's someone else who is in more of a position of authority... But she needs to know that she's hurting others, and has to take more responsibility for herself.

*hugs*

I love mom to death, but you are right.

 

[CassandraFaye]

I'm bipolar and all the meds I have to take is really something I had to learn to accept. I would get to feeling better and stop taking them, claiming I didn't need them anymore. I think, for me, I reached rock bottom enough times to realize that I can't *live* without them in my life.
Is she willing to go to therapy? It's the best thing and will help her see clearly enough to maybe reconsider medication.

 

[LoneKiller]

I'm bipolar and all the meds I have to take is really something I had to learn to accept. I would get to feeling better and stop taking them, claiming I didn't need them anymore. I think, for me, I reached rock bottom enough times to realize that I can't *live* without them in my life.
Is she willing to go to therapy? It's the best thing and will help her see clearly enough to maybe reconsider medication.

Hi CassandraFaye.

She is as stubborn as a mule. I don't think that Jesus Himself could persuade her to go to the doctor for help.

 

[LeaningIntoTheMuse]

Speaking as someone who is bipolar, are there any free help/counseling therapy groups in your area?

You need to get your mom some therapy, or at least so that she can't refuse to take her meds. If she is not taking them out of choice, call her doctor, and get her in a home that will make her.

 

[LoneKiller]

Gonna confront mom today. Can't take her mood swings anymore. I would have more sympathy if she were trying to get help, but she is not. So if I don't return to the forum after today, most likely, I'll be in the hospital with various injuries.

I'll fill you all in after this mini Armageddon is over.

 

[Gutted]

That sounds A LOT like my Mum. I always blame it on her habits though. For example she likes to drink and smoke and go out. She doesn't like to do anything that is considered work. If for example she has no smokes, she flips out. She also goes mad for stupid little things. Like me not lending her £3.50 for fags :S

 

[LoneKiller]

I went into the den and politely asked her again to get the help she needs. She puts her hand up in efforts to end the conversation before it even began. I lost my cool and started yelling very loud.

She gets up out of the chair and comes at me with both hands in a choking fashion. I grabbed her wrists in defense. she then proceeded to bite one of my hands.

I hugged her and wouldn't let go. She started crying and agreed to make an appointment. fresia that was hard. But worth it? You're Goddamn right! You only get one mother in life. I'm not losing mine to a treatable illness.

 

[Ak5]

She's going to get help, great!

Keep me posted on how she's doing.