My Plenty Of Fish Experince

[Equinox]

to recap this comment i really may sound mean towards my ex's but they both cheated on me so i don't care about sounding mean towards them (and they kinda should feel bad about them selves) and secondly women have the same shitty standards towards men. and i meant complexion sorry not complications.

The issue actually has little to do with your exes and what they may or may not deserve of mean comments. What you're saying is (and please correct me if I'm wrong here) "overweight women are low standard" and "women with a complexion are low standard", and thus you give the impression of being a very shallow person with whom I certainly would not want to waste my time, given the option.

As for your very judgmental "women have the same shitty standards" comment, I'll share something slightly private: When on dating sites, I receive messages from different people. Some of these people actually look very handsome in their pictures, and yet I do not reply to them. Why not? Because their message and/or profile comes off as boring or shallow. I don't care whether or not a guy looks like Ryan Gosling (though it wouldn't hurt, of course), but I do care about whether or not he's a nice and reflected guy that I can trust and feel comfortable with and talk to. And of course that the chemistry works. I couldn't care less if his BMI was a little higher than average, or if he didn't have a sixpack. You may not believe this, but it's the gospel truth.

 

[nerdygirl]

i'm a guy with fairly low standards so it doesn't take much for me to message some one. for example the only girlfriends i've ever had have both weighed more then me and had back complications. and noted i never have had mail me on those site or a girl hit on me in real life that wasn't doing it as a cruel joke that i haven't dated.

"I like my womens the way I like my salsa: Hot! Spicy! And a little bit chunky, okay!" ~Pepe the King Prawn
(The Muppets are the bestest.)

 

[Outlawstarl337]

i'll try and explain what i'm saying on that thread to the simple and best of my ability here
i'm not saying girls with bad complexions or that are over weight is having low standard but i'm saying i didn't date super models or girls close to that type of women. now why did i date these women? well the first one was because she was a easy to approach person who was energetic. the second one was a energetic girl as well that had the same type of humor as my self (plus she hit on me)

i never have had a girl hit on me in real life that wasn't doing it as a cruel joke that i haven't dated.

(that's what i was trying to say in first post but it may have been hard to read).
now as far as where i'm going about standard is the fact that there indeed is a scale for where people fall in looks category. and i'm not saying being over weight makes you ugly or having zit's and complexion issues makes you ugly. what i am saying though is i dated women that had both those issues. and by most people standards people with both issues on a scale of one to ten (5 being average) will most likely not be a 8, 9, or 10 did i mind it not really. now what i am saying yet again is i did date these women. this doesn't make me a saint or a remarkably good humans. but it should let you know i've overlooked this before and hell i'll mostly do it again in the future. but if you want to attack me as a person feel free. what i said was a bit dickish. was it true yes. and the fact is people need to except the fact of how they look and it doesn't nail you down to be high or low standards but it does mean that yes for the looks category you could be in the low standards area but over all be a person of high standards in the way that you Carrie your self, your charisma, and intelligence. so i'm sorry i didnt clarify my thoughts to start with but this is still how i feel about it and if that makes me a bad person so be it.

 

[nerdygirl]

now as far as where i'm going about standard is the fact that there indeed is a scale for where people fall in looks category. and i'm not saying being over weight makes you ugly or having zit's and complexion issues makes you ugly. what i am saying though is i dated women that had both those issues. and by most people standards people with both issues on a scale of one to ten (5 being average) will most likely not be a 8, 9, or 10 did i mind it not really. now what i am saying yet again is i did date these women. this doesn't make me a saint or a remarkably good humans. but it should let you know i've overlooked this before and hell i'll mostly do it again in the future. but if you want to attack me as a person feel free. what i said was a bit dickish. was it true yes. and the fact is people need to except the fact of how they look and it doesn't nail you down to be high or low standards but it does mean that yes for the looks category you could be in the low standards area but over all be a person of high standards in the way that you Carrie your self, your charisma, and intelligence. so i'm sorry i didnt clarify my thoughts to start with but this is still how i feel about it and if that makes me a bad person so be it.

Instead of digging the hole deeper, the simplest way out of this would probably be, "I didn't mean to say that these women were low-standard. I meant to say that they don't fit society's idea of 'beauty'." Perhaps we should all just pretend that's what you said.

 

[firebird85]

You're having trouble because the system is rigged against you, and favors women. Women are ultimately the ones who choose today.

The whole, "females have it easy" thing is a myth. I'm reasonably attractive, fairly intelligent, and I have a decent personality. I got few letters at all, and those I received were mostly sexual harassment. I did get a few of those angry letters from men in their 60s who told me I was shallow for wanting a man my own age. I tried writing men first, but few of them wrote back.

We've all heard that the crappy profiles with cute pictures get tons of responses. What this suggests is that "hot" and vacuous people are sexually appealing, and some people will do anything to get laid.

No, it's not a myth. It's a fact of life. A woman who is unemployed and ugly could make a profile on a dating site and get 50 responses while a guy in the same situation will get nothing.

A woman who has amputated legs, legally blind, or aspergers can seek out a normal healthy guy to marry and have children with while a guy in any of those same situations is guaranteed to die alone, because women want the best there is.I know what you'll say, "guys only want supermodels", when even overweight women have tons of options.

Women have every form and resource behind them, and they are so disconnected towards men it's practically a losing battle. 1.5% of men on earth will never find a woman. Chances are if you're a guy who's 18-50 and you've had barely to any success or experience with women chances are you're one of the guys who has to live this life of datelessness.

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[ladysigh]

You're having trouble because the system is rigged against you, and favors women. Women are ultimately the ones who choose today.

No, it's not a myth. It's a fact of life. A woman who is unemployed and ugly could make a profile on a dating site and get 50 responses while a guy in the same situation will get nothing.

A woman who has amputated legs, legally blind, or aspergers can seek out a normal healthy guy to marry and have children with while a guy in any of those same situations is guaranteed to die alone, because women want the best there is.I know what you'll say, "guys only want supermodels", when even overweight women have tons of options.

Women have every form and resource behind them, and they are so disconnected towards men it's practically a losing battle. 1.5% of men on earth will never find a woman. Chances are if you're a guy who's 18-50 and you've had barely to any success or experience with women chances are you're one of the guys who has to live this life of datelessness.

Your entire message -- and mostly your last paragraph is such a crock of honeysuckle I don't know where to begin...

I am not unemployed or ugly, I don't have amputated legs nor am I legally blind and I don't have aspergers. I have never received the 50 responses you mention in your first paragraph. The only thing I asked for in a guy is that he be in my age range and THATS IT.

I think I'd better shut this computer off before I get really mad and let you have it.

 

[guld]

Well, something that seems sort of overlooked in the second half of this discussion, but that I think is quite relevant in the end, is that getting answers on a dating site, or having the "advantage", isn't synonymous with being successful with getting dates, getting boyfriends, getting a husband, living a lucky life, and so on, and so on. Especially not if this is something based on your looks, which I think it most oftenly is in the cases that are getting discussed here. You get a lot of answers, alright, but what is it worth if it doesn't lead to something more than some lines back and forth (and perhaps not any enjoyable lines back and forth), and then nothing more? Or, say, if half of the answers are simply comments on your looks/propositions based your looks?

I haven't been out on any dating sites myself, but I don't think that this "advantage" that a young, good-looking girl gets is that much of an advantage in the end. You might get a boost out of feeling "good looking", but in the end, I don't think anything serious, and emotionally meaningful, comes out of that sort of attention - especially not on the internet. I know that that sort of relationships aren't what I'm looking forin the end, and I think the same goes for most people, actually.

I feel condfident with my looks, if I would be to rate myself, and consider myself a quite good looking person, and quite often get the feeling that other people do as well. And still, I have no success in getting neither potential boyfriends nor getting friends, or making acquaintances - I'm just not good at the social stuff, at all. My own experience, of myself and people around me, is that good looks really don't get you that far, in the end, if you haven't got something more solid to complement it with.

 

[TheSolitaryMan]

Women have every form and resource behind them, and they are so disconnected towards men it's practically a losing battle. 1.5% of men on earth will never find a woman.

Chances are if you're a guy who's 18-50 and you've had barely to any success or experience with women chances are you're one of the guys who has to live this life of datelessness.

Sorry, but I'm going to call bullshit on this, particularly on that last paragraph which I broke off in the quote.

I'm 20, no "experience" with women or dates, but logically I consider myself far from a lost cause. Really my lack of dating is down to my own scruples, fears and so on, not lack of ability. I'm sure lots of guys are in that category. Saying most guys between 18-50 who haven't been on a date have high odds of being totally lonely forever is ridiculous.

Such fatalistic nihilism doesn't help anyone.

On the other hand...

Before you started with that defeatist stuff, I agree that women in general do have an easier time...partly.

That's not to say ALL women. There are definitely pretty, clever and kind ladies out there who are just unlucky in meeting the right person (as in nerdygirl's case by the sound of it). Just as there are unlucky smart, nice guys who look pretty good who stay single. One of my friends, a computer programmer/amateur boxer is an example of this.

The difference of "easy success" between genders is that a reasonably good looking guy who is shy can go to a club and try to chat someone up and fail quite spectacularly. A reasonably good looking girl may simply wait for a guy she'd like to have a physical fling with to make an appearance, then accept - this is likely to happen.

This has never really bothered me, because I'm not into that casual sex stuff anyway, but that's where the real divide is.

My best female friend is pretty but often low confidence - she doesn't share my restrained views on sex, and easily picks up guys in clubs (hell, even outside clubs) for sex without even batting an eyelid, because she just has to say yes when some guy asks. She's not picky.

If I were to lose my qualms and do the same thing with a load of girls, I'd either find I never got hit on in the first place, or I'd probably be laughed out of the establishment. My friend used to have a pretty heavy crush on me, so I'm at least at her "attractiveness" level - it's the gender difference.

 

[guld]

You're having trouble because the system is rigged against you, and favors women. Women are ultimately the ones who choose today.

No, it's not a myth. It's a fact of life. A woman who is unemployed and ugly could make a profile on a dating site and get 50 responses while a guy in the same situation will get nothing.

A woman who has amputated legs, legally blind, or aspergers can seek out a normal healthy guy to marry and have children with while a guy in any of those same situations is guaranteed to die alone, because women want the best there is.I know what you'll say, "guys only want supermodels", when even overweight women have tons of options.

Women have every form and resource behind them, and they are so disconnected towards men it's practically a losing battle. 1.5% of men on earth will never find a woman. Chances are if you're a guy who's 18-50 and you've had barely to any success or experience with women chances are you're one of the guys who has to live this life of datelessness.

Your entire message -- and mostly your last paragraph is such a crock of honeysuckle I don't know where to begin...

I am not unemployed or ugly, I don't have amputated legs nor am I legally blind and I don't have aspergers. I have never received the 50 responses you mention in your first paragraph. The only thing I asked for in a guy is that he be in my age range and THATS IT.

I think I'd better shut this computer off before I get really mad and let you have it.

I'm so agreeing with you. I don't really get where all this is coming from - all women getting men, no men getting women unless they're not 10 out of 10-ers. Whatever happend to people being individuals, as well as the fact that some actual social interaction sort of has to happend before you "get" somebody?

 

[Equinox]

You're having trouble because the system is rigged against you, and favors women. Women are ultimately the ones who choose today.

No, it's not a myth. It's a fact of life. A woman who is unemployed and ugly could make a profile on a dating site and get 50 responses while a guy in the same situation will get nothing.

A woman who has amputated legs, legally blind, or aspergers can seek out a normal healthy guy to marry and have children with while a guy in any of those same situations is guaranteed to die alone, because women want the best there is.I know what you'll say, "guys only want supermodels", when even overweight women have tons of options.

I'm just going to assume that you either have a weird sense of humour, or that you're just trolling, because what you're saying here has no connection to reality what so ever. It's an interesting thesis, and I can understand that some lonely men would cling to it as an excuse for not finding the right girl, but it is never the less WRONG. You claim that girls have it easy. We (the girls, that is, who experience this first hand) disagree with you. Are you able to prove us wrong? And no, stupid youtube videos does not count as a reliable source.

 

[TheSolitaryMan]

I've just been listening to some of those YouTube links and I couldn't help but laugh at times. They have a glimmer of an interesting point once every 5 minutes of dialogue, but so much self-indulgent utter crap too.

Those first two guys are complaining about an apocalyptic "pussy renaissance" that has magically ruined male-female interaction and wonder why girls aren't into them?

I personally regard any guy who refers to women as "pussy" an idiot, and I'm sure lots of girls do too. I wouldn't expect a girl to refer to me as "dick". It's trashy, sexist and totally disrespectful.

In fact, the only thing I kind of agreed on was when the guy said that the "PUA community" are a bunch of tools (to paraphrase). I have nothing against guys suggesting tips for meeting girls or anything, but the whole "PUA" thing is 90% of the time arrogant, macho, posturing bull.

Society may have changed since the 80's, but these borderline female-hating things which heap every possible blame onto women are just a load of total honeysuckle. I actually find it quite offensive - just as hardline man-haters piss me off too.

Sorry for the rather fiery post, but...I don't think stuff like that is any help to anyone.

 

[ladysigh]

Sorry for the rather fiery post, but...I don't think stuff like that is any help to anyone.

Well I'm relieved I'm not the only one who had an adverse reaction to that post.

My match account is still active thru October...where are those 50 emails???

EDIT: Just found this one...do you think he has issues?

 

[nerdygirl]

No, it's not a myth. It's a fact of life. A woman who is unemployed and ugly could make a profile on a dating site and get 50 responses while a guy in the same situation will get nothing.

A woman who has amputated legs, legally blind, or aspergers can seek out a normal healthy guy to marry and have children with while a guy in any of those same situations is guaranteed to die alone, because women want the best there is.I know what you'll say, "guys only want supermodels", when even overweight women have tons of options.

Ohhh. So the problem is that I'm employed, attractive, have my limbs, can see, and I don't have Asperger's Syndrome. Otherwise, I would have had oodles of responses. Well! I'm glad you cleared that up for me.

 

[hbkdx12]

well, this thread has certainly turned into the battles of the sexes

 

[nerdygirl]

well, this thread has certainly turned into the battles of the sexes

It has?

 

[Equinox]

well, this thread has certainly turned into the battles of the sexes

It has?

Uhm, not really, no. That would require men and women disagreeing about something, not one person throwing out crazy theories that everyone else sees as utter nonsense.

 

[HappyYogi]

Wow that is amazing how entitled those men are!

You are NOT shallow for wanting someone your own age. It's about having more things in common and being true friends rather than a "trophy girl".

If anything, THOSE men are shallow! Geez.

I did get a few of those angry letters from men in their 60s who told me I was shallow for wanting a man my own age.

 

[firebird85]

No, it's not a myth. It's a fact of life. A woman who is unemployed and ugly could make a profile on a dating site and get 50 responses while a guy in the same situation will get nothing.

A woman who has amputated legs, legally blind, or aspergers can seek out a normal healthy guy to marry and have children with while a guy in any of those same situations is guaranteed to die alone, because women want the best there is.I know what you'll say, "guys only want supermodels", when even overweight women have tons of options.

Ohhh. So the problem is that I'm employed, attractive, have my limbs, can see, and I don't have Asperger's Syndrome. Otherwise, I would have had oodles of responses. Well! I'm glad you cleared that up for me.

The point I was trying to make was that a woman who had any of those problems I described would still have options available. There'd still be men out there who would be willing to date her or marry her and take care of her. But if you reversed the situation a guy like that would be relegated to a life of being single.

what's wrong with that picture? why are men at such a disadvantage when it comes to dating and relationships? you really need to think about that. It's something you can only realize on an instinctual level.

 

[tangerinedream]

One of the last messages I got was from just this sort of guy who was anything but handsome (as he self-professed), and in his profile he went through a long list of what he's looking for in a woman, at the end he summarized "basically I'm just looking for the perfect woman." (Yes, he was serious.) I wanted to respond with "the only guy who has the right to demand a perfect woman is George Clooney, and you sir are no George Clooney"...but that would've been mean so I didn't.

lol at the last part.

I recall, back in my days on match.com, being stunned at the number of guys who had on their profiles something like "Plz be ht/wt proportionate," but they themselves were anything but svelte. *snort*

This one guy I went out with for dinner a few times had as his profile picture one that turned out to be 8 years and 50 pounds out of date and yet he vociferously complained about how the chicks he met were always using photoshopped pix that were basically, in his words, false advertising.

Dude. Hypocrite much?

*sigh*

another poster earlier mentioned how it seemed that a lot of the guys trawling those sites want women a good 20 years younger. I've always described it as those men are looking for women 10 years younger than them, but who LOOK 20 years younger. lol

Soooo glad I[m done with that honeysuckle.

Sure, women have it "easier" in attracting "interest," as long as you count interest things like:

unsolicited cock photos
Highly intellectual comments like "hey mama your [sic] hawttt wanna get it on?" "You seem smart. I liek [sic] intelligance woman" or"wanna suck my cock?"

Srsly?

 

[Equinox]

I don't think Firebird IS being serious. I think he's trolling, and would advice everyone to ignore him. His "theories" have been blown to pieces countless times already, and he still refuses to relate to this. E.g. when he claims that "any women can find a guy, but disabled guys will always be alone", he has no further comments when people answer "so how come I'm a single woman, and how come I've met disabled guys who are married?". Actually, he generally refuses to answer any critical questions directed at him what so ever. Obviously a troll. An amusing one, but a troll none the less.