My problem..

[Pungent]

I never learned to make friends. I spent my first 10 years in a joint family environment, my cousins were my only `friends`. I remember in early school days that I had only one friend.

Through out my life, I have learnt that I am not good at small talk.. i`m not talkative, if you talk to me you will notice that I say `oh` a lot or just give "concerned" facial expressions (that makes me lol)...
It`s like i`m not interested in other people, whenever I talk.. I find them uninteresting or they dont say stuff that will make me actually want to give an interesting response.. I wish I was talkative.. I wish I had better responses for people!

Unfortunate thing about me: I have never made a best friend.. most girls called me their best friends(during school years).. and I just agreed..
98% of my friends had no interests similar to mine, and only thing we could ever talk about was school related stuff or news..

I wish I could have a best friend.. I never felt bad for being lonely before, I am the type of person who would be perfectly ok with eating her lunch alone in cafetaria! My friends(that i had) were opposite, they were so disgusted by appearing like a loner that if they were alone they would eat on the floors of the hallways!

Anyway, now in college.. i feel so lonely lol.. I go to college and go back home.. thats my life....I want to have a best friend.. or at least friend who has similar interests as me.. but I dont know how to find that person, I dont really like things that all general 18 years old like.. should I just pretend? I want to share things that i find interesting with people..

 

[Lost Drifter]

Honestly? It sounds like you’re growing up and that is something to be proud of. Your individuality is coming out and you’re starting to see through the common bullshit we are force fed as children. That you don’t share common interests with your peers or like the general eighteen year old ‘stuff’ enforces this notion, you are becoming you and you should never compromise that just to fit in.

Finding friends with similar interests will come in time, I’m willing to bet that a lot of your age group are going through the exact same thing, breaking childhood moulds, exploring new avenues, developing new outlooks etc. I know I struggled immensely when I was that age, I felt like I had outgrown everything and everyone I knew, but it gets better in time, trust me on that one.

As Jim Morrison once said "A friend is someone who lets you have total freedom to be yourself." So just continue being you and it will come in time.

 

[Pungent]

Honestly? It sounds like you’re growing up and that is something to be proud of. Your individuality is coming out and you’re starting to see through the common bullshit we are force fed as children. That you don’t share common interests with your peers or like the general eighteen year old ‘stuff’ enforces this notion, you are becoming you and you should never compromise that just to fit in.

Finding friends with similar interests will come in time, I’m willing to bet that a lot of your age group are going through the exact same thing, breaking childhood moulds, exploring new avenues, developing new outlooks etc. I know I struggled immensely when I was that age, I felt like I had outgrown everything and everyone I knew, but it gets better in time, trust me on that one.

As Jim Morrison once said "A friend is someone who lets you have total freedom to be yourself." So just continue being you and it will come in time.

thanks for reply,
I guess you're right..
everyone says to praise individuality.. that being different is a good thing..
But I dont agree.. I know thats what hipster(to an extent) do..
I dont even fall into their category..
I read your other post..and I realized I dont take enough intiative regarding making friendships.

But i dont know how to!! I dont know how to break the acquaintance barrier! and people around me are.... too different from me.. I am pakistani.. in all white class..

I dont think they will accept me..

-__-

 

[Ak5]

In my honest opinion, the best way to break the acquaintance barrier is to be outgoing and open. Strike up a conversation, if you have same interests or hobbies ask to hang out! Sure, it's going to be difficult, but you gotta make an effort.

Being different, physically, is hard, be proud of yourself, don't let anyone bring you down. Besides, in a positive light, you'll make great friends with people who really care and aren't shallow.

 

[Pungent]

In my honest opinion, the best way to break the acquaintance barrier is to be outgoing and open. Strike up a conversation, if you have same interests or hobbies ask to hang out! Sure, it's going to be difficult, but you gotta make an effort.

Being different, physically, is hard, be proud of yourself, don't let anyone bring you down. Besides, in a positive light, you'll make great friends with people who really care and aren't shallow.

thanks for the comment, hopefully i will have will power to do it..
you are right about becoming more outgoing and stuff, but that will be hard for me..
I guess,, if I become more open and friendlier to my acquantances then perhaps I can create a "bond"..

 

[Ak5]

Yeah. One of the biggest barriers for me was the introduction, I was anxious. I didn't know what the person would say in response, but I figured it was my only way. At first it was awkward lol, but in time it got better, we talked and had more conversations.

You just gotta try.

 

[Pungent]

Yeah. One of the biggest barriers for me was the introduction, I was anxious. I didn't know what the person would say in response, but I figured it was my only way. At first it was awkward lol, but in time it got better, we talked and had more conversations.

You just gotta try.

i'm not good at introduction also. I''m not good at small talk.. I find if I have a "purpose" or an idea of what I want to talk about then I can do it, otherwise I cant make myself do it..
Its like, when I really have to then I chat with people....

idk what is wrong with me.. lack of interest or idk.. I want friends but I dont want to "try",.. i want to have them naturally.

 

[lomojojo]

When I started reading I thought of me. I was exactly like that. Then I realized it's all about what i told my self to be. I am awkward, I am not good at small talk, I never find the right thing to say so I cover it with "oh". It's just how your brain is wired. There is nothing wrong with you really, all is needed is a shift...