I feel like this is a simple beat, but my beats seem to have a haze over them. Like it reflects my emotions. Creating beats is the only way i know i can express myself in the highest form.
I barely share these, but i wanted to share this one.
My Instrumental
So I've decided to write daily journals or something like that...maybe my rants or whatever here to refrain from making hundreds of threads..but that is something i wanted to talk about.. I come to forums such as these and others to find others like myself to reassure myself that I am not alone in my thoughts and also to read about others' experiences...
However due to my EXTREME social anxiety problem, these types of forums also stir me up inside.. I have major anxiety over posting things to the point where I'll impulsively post something because I want to say it at the time, then I'll want to edit it or take it down shortly after. Give it two or three minutes and I'll regret putting anything up because of the way my mind works.
It's weird because I love to socialize and I also hate it at the same time. I can't handle it and I'm learning to tell myself "no" a lot more to wanting to socialize and things. People get tired of me wondering if they're talking behind my back or if they were being sarcastic while talking to me, so I just learned to keep to myself. This is sad though. I feel terrible right now. I think I'm going to cry. I'm so lonely and I feel like complete trash. I am such a sensitive person, everything gets to me. The smallest things and most of the world, they're so mediocre, but this is not my true nature. However, living in such a society, you have no choice. Either you fake it or you learn to isolate yourself so you can be by yourself to be your true self...
I don't know...
![Frown :( :(](data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7)
I barely share these, but i wanted to share this one.
My Instrumental
So I've decided to write daily journals or something like that...maybe my rants or whatever here to refrain from making hundreds of threads..but that is something i wanted to talk about.. I come to forums such as these and others to find others like myself to reassure myself that I am not alone in my thoughts and also to read about others' experiences...
However due to my EXTREME social anxiety problem, these types of forums also stir me up inside.. I have major anxiety over posting things to the point where I'll impulsively post something because I want to say it at the time, then I'll want to edit it or take it down shortly after. Give it two or three minutes and I'll regret putting anything up because of the way my mind works.
It's weird because I love to socialize and I also hate it at the same time. I can't handle it and I'm learning to tell myself "no" a lot more to wanting to socialize and things. People get tired of me wondering if they're talking behind my back or if they were being sarcastic while talking to me, so I just learned to keep to myself. This is sad though. I feel terrible right now. I think I'm going to cry. I'm so lonely and I feel like complete trash. I am such a sensitive person, everything gets to me. The smallest things and most of the world, they're so mediocre, but this is not my true nature. However, living in such a society, you have no choice. Either you fake it or you learn to isolate yourself so you can be by yourself to be your true self...
I don't know...