I'm in my early 20's and never had a girlfriend. I never really have known why. I've been told by a lot of people I'm a good looking guy. I was a popular guy in high school, hell I was captain of the football team. I workout often, I have a good, fit, muscular frame. I keep myself clean cut, but I never get noticed by girls. It is incredibly hard for me to talk to any girls, and when I do I usually say something stupid. As time goes by it seems to get harder and harder for me to talk to girls. I feel I may be alone forever. I need some help or words of encouragement. Thanks.
Need some advice
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bookworm1979
Well-known member
I don't have any help to offer, but I will give you words of encouragement...
You're still young, so you won't be alone forever, although I know it feels like it right now...
Where are you meeting these girls? Why do you think that you say something stupid to them to put them off? It's a vicious cycle: you have a few encounters that go wrong, which then makes you increasingly afraid to try again...I think the best thing you can do is just show some interest, ask them about anything simple, favorite music/movies, etc. and go from there...Show that you have some intelligence first because without that, looks usually don't mean anything....I know it's difficult to just strike up random conversations, but you can do it!
You're still young, so you won't be alone forever, although I know it feels like it right now...
Where are you meeting these girls? Why do you think that you say something stupid to them to put them off? It's a vicious cycle: you have a few encounters that go wrong, which then makes you increasingly afraid to try again...I think the best thing you can do is just show some interest, ask them about anything simple, favorite music/movies, etc. and go from there...Show that you have some intelligence first because without that, looks usually don't mean anything....I know it's difficult to just strike up random conversations, but you can do it!
You're proof that muscles don't always bring the ladies, thank you. I get sick of people who always say to workout and build muscles and you'll get women.
Where do you go to meet girls? Maybe you need to either get out there more or go to places where there will be the type of girls you are looking for. Like if you are just looking for a hookup peeler bars are the perfect place. If you are looking for an intelligent good girl, clubs or society events are good for that.
If you are afraid of saying something stupid then just ask them simple non creepy questions. Sometimes an easy way to break the ice is to let the person talk about themselves and see if you have common interests.
Where do you go to meet girls? Maybe you need to either get out there more or go to places where there will be the type of girls you are looking for. Like if you are just looking for a hookup peeler bars are the perfect place. If you are looking for an intelligent good girl, clubs or society events are good for that.
If you are afraid of saying something stupid then just ask them simple non creepy questions. Sometimes an easy way to break the ice is to let the person talk about themselves and see if you have common interests.
Ak5
Well-known member
AFrozenSoul
Well-known member
Females are social creatures. Having a healthy body is a start. However, it is not what will win most girls over. You need to approach and talk to them.
Second girls may notice you. You just may not see it.
Second girls may notice you. You just may not see it.
Thanks for the kind words folks. I think I came across the wrong way in what I said. First off I don't workout to get girls I do it to keep my body in prime shape. Second, when I said I say "stupid" things it's not really that its just that I say things that usually turn girls away lol, if you know what I mean. I really am a nice guy, I usually go out of my way to help people out. I hold doors open for people etc. I think my big problem is lack of confidence. Every time I have tried on a girl I've gotten turned down.
VanillaCreme
Well-known member
How do you expect to be noticed if you don't say anything?
Alexander_john
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jeff203 said:
Hello,
As you say you meet these type of girls so, Where are you meeting these girls? Why do you think that you say something stupid to them to put them off? It's a vicious cycle: you have a few encounters that go wrong, which then makes you increasingly afraid to try again...
firebird85
Well-known member
jeff203 said:
You are invisible to women. I am too. I don't really see any guaranteed solutions to break out of it.
It's a mind f*** when you hear these girls saying they can't find someone, but yet there are millions of men out there who never had any female friends or girlfriends before. Guys who are invisible to women for really no reason whatsoever. It feels weird to hear this, while looking over myself and knowing I am a big 0.
Gonzalesann
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jeff203 said:
Jeff
Hi! It isn't you at all I had that problem my whole life. I have come to realize that people are selfish, and they look for the wrong things in life. It isn't You first You are special. God made us all we are different. There are individuals that see you. They are afraid to show it, I truly pray don't give up be strong thave faith and believe in yourself.
The Dougler
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yeah man I hear you. I am similar to you in the way that you've been told your good looking before and had some popularity in highschool. It sounds like your a respectable dude. I mean I try to take care of myself too and when I compare myself to other guys, I see myself as someone girls SHOULD be interested in. When finally some interest is shown I find myself saying something seen as stupid too, it sucks.
When I look around at my friends who all have had at least one girlfriend in their lives and I've had none, I ask what's so great about them and not me?
The only logical answer I can come up with is nothing, in fact, in a lot of ways I'm better than them. Im taller with a semi-muscular build, better looking, getting a university education, have money, play sports. I see myself as this well rounded person and the only thing holding me back from getting a girl is I don't pursue girls and show perseverance.
I think thats all there is to it i think. Perseverance. Lots of girls want a boy in their life, thats it. Yeah they know they want him to be smart, funny, rich, handsome, whatever, having those is a plus. Girls love attention so I think by showing some in them and pursuing them is a good bet to get some interest in you. Cause I've been trying to make it work without pursuing, its the only thing I know how to do, and have had virtually no success.
Hopefully you don't get the vibe that I'm trying to tell you how to live your life. Just someone who has had similar experiences and knows what its like to obviously be a great catch but is somehow overlooked.
When I look around at my friends who all have had at least one girlfriend in their lives and I've had none, I ask what's so great about them and not me?
The only logical answer I can come up with is nothing, in fact, in a lot of ways I'm better than them. Im taller with a semi-muscular build, better looking, getting a university education, have money, play sports. I see myself as this well rounded person and the only thing holding me back from getting a girl is I don't pursue girls and show perseverance.
I think thats all there is to it i think. Perseverance. Lots of girls want a boy in their life, thats it. Yeah they know they want him to be smart, funny, rich, handsome, whatever, having those is a plus. Girls love attention so I think by showing some in them and pursuing them is a good bet to get some interest in you. Cause I've been trying to make it work without pursuing, its the only thing I know how to do, and have had virtually no success.
Hopefully you don't get the vibe that I'm trying to tell you how to live your life. Just someone who has had similar experiences and knows what its like to obviously be a great catch but is somehow overlooked.
