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[Critical Mass]

Im lonely. Im depressed. I feel pathetic. Im 24 still living at home.. jobless hobbyless and self esteemless. Ive never had a girlfriend and it doesnt look like ill get one anytime soon :/. My life isnt goign anywhere and everyone around me is finding happiness and moving on. Ive never had more than 2 friends.... but now i really have 0. My closest pal has kids and moved on with his girlfriend and is living his life. The one friend I have left is so infatuated with his new girlfriend that he hardly has any time for anything else.... Im glad they both are happy with the way there lives are going, but i also feel envyous they have what I want.. and i cant seem to get it. It all just creats a situation where I have no confidence and it makes it super hard to get out of this hole. Its all too familar unfortunatly.... sigh who would ever want someone with little to no interests... and hates himself? How can a loser become a winner? At this point i would be glad to be just a particapant.

 

[Bluey]

Im lonely. Im depressed. I feel pathetic. Im 24 still living at home.. jobless hobbyless and self esteemless. Ive never had a girlfriend and it doesnt look like ill get one anytime soon :/. My life isnt goign anywhere and everyone around me is finding happiness and moving on. Ive never had more than 2 friends.... but now i really have 0. My closest pal has kids and moved on with his girlfriend and is living his life. The one friend I have left is so infatuated with his new girlfriend that he hardly has any time for anything else.... Im glad they both are happy with the way there lives are going, but i also feel envyous they have what I want.. and i cant seem to get it. It all just creats a situation where I have no confidence and it makes it super hard to get out of this hole. Its all too familar unfortunatly.... sigh who would ever want someone with little to no interests... and hates himself? How can a loser become a winner? At this point i would be glad to be just a particapant.

don't be so heard on yourself mate.

i have had friends do the same thing why am still with nobody.

you need to get a job tho. i know this is difficult and you well probably be shitting it the fist time you start work are go for an interview. but it dose get better.

and if you get employment at the right place, say a supermarket are something then hopefully you well make friends.

one thing tho, your not on your own mate. not at all.

i can not work. so you got an advantage there hay!


ow and WELCOME. i hope you stick around.

 

[lonelygirl]

Hi Critical,

I agree you are being WAY too hard on yourself. First of all, you live at home. Big whoop. Today's economy aint' the best in case you didn't notice. Housing in many markets is out of reach financially for people in their 30's let alone as young as you. It is SMARTER to live at home rent free or low rent than to go out and bust your butt daily just to make rent payment on some crappy roach motel like apartment.

Second jobless. Working SUCKS in case you didn't know yet. Did you read Matt Groening's book, "Work is Hell"? See one of my all time favorite movies, "Office Space." It reminded me SO MUCH of the time I worked in an office. It sucks so bad. There are decent jobs out there and even good jobs but it will take some time to find one. In the meantime, just go to any local shop and apply. Any place you think you could stand to work. They may not advertise jobs but you can find something at the local mall no doubt.

Having a girlfriend isn't all it's cracked up to be. Relationships are work. They take time money and energy. And if you break up it hurts worse than anything.

You can have a girlfriend. Your appearance does matter. Then, you must also have good hygeniene aka clean skin, brushed teeth, deodorant, LIGHT not heavy cologne, and fresh breath. This will help a lot. Also learning how to charm women. Pretend to be self-confident, not cocky but maybe very slightly cocky. A sense of humor. Don't act desperate or fall all over yourself. A small smile. Say hello. Ask a question. These are good ways to meet someone at first. Go for it man!@

 

[Bluey]

Hi Critical,

I agree you are being WAY too hard on yourself. First of all, you live at home. Big whoop. Today's economy aint' the best in case you didn't notice. Housing in many markets is out of reach financially for people in their 30's let alone as young as you. It is SMARTER to live at home rent free or low rent than to go out and bust your butt daily just to make rent payment on some crappy roach motel like apartment.

Second jobless. Working SUCKS in case you didn't know yet. Did you read Matt Groening's book, "Work is Hell"? See one of my all time favorite movies, "Office Space." It reminded me SO MUCH of the time I worked in an office. It sucks so bad. There are decent jobs out there and even good jobs but it will take some time to find one. In the meantime, just go to any local shop and apply. Any place you think you could stand to work. They may not advertise jobs but you can find something at the local mall no doubt.

Having a girlfriend isn't all it's cracked up to be. Relationships are work. They take time money and energy. And if you break up it hurts worse than anything.

You can have a girlfriend. Your appearance does matter. Then, you must also have good hygeniene aka clean skin, brushed teeth, deodorant, LIGHT not heavy cologne, and fresh breath. This will help a lot. Also learning how to charm women. Pretend to be self-confident, not cocky but maybe very slightly cocky. A sense of humor. Don't act desperate or fall all over yourself. A small smile. Say hello. Ask a question. These are good ways to meet someone at first. Go for it man!@

wow! that's some good advise there.

i took most of that in myself.

thanks there XXX

 

[kazman32]

Don't feel bad! I'm 39 live at home don't have a job (but I'm looking) no car, I do have a hobby (going to the gym) but that's about it...after losing my ex \ gf has been honeysuckle....for 2 years I have been just barely surviving, I'm finally trying to get things together..but it isn't easy, it would have been easier to just off myself, but I guess I like pain

 

[lonelygirl]

Hey Bluey,

Thanks.

I like to consider myself a "big-sister" type and I would like to provide advice to any loney and or geeky guy about getting babes. I would like to be here for anyone who needs advice. I don't know how good it is, but I am here. Please PM me any time.

 

[i_dunno]

You are definitely not alone in living at home.  Hving you own place is cool, but it's kind of a double edged sword when you don't realy have friends to visit, and yeah I'm in that same place where my good friend is too infatuated with his gf.  There is really something to be said for being alone and having your own place to be alone in. On the other hand, when i have had my own place, I often found myself being rather depressed in that scenario.  If you think that moving out is the right thing for you, I would definitely suggest it, since it will give you a sense of pride in having a home of your own.
As far as not having a girlfriend, you should try not too worry about it.  While I agree that lonelygirl had some great tips, I think it can give a guy too much added stress to worry about why they can't find a girl.  You're still young and love will find you when you're ready and it'll probably be a welcomed surprise.  That's the best kind.  It's natural and it's the way things go.
The first step should be finding a job and just having patience with the whole process.  Rest assured that you are still young and you have plenty of time to get things in order.
And if you're the kind of guy that can be happy for his friends despite the strong temptation to feel envy, then I would think that you're a good person.  So, when you feel like you have nothing and feel pathetic, realize that as a good person you are worth FAR more than most other people that seem to have everything but care little about other people.  Keep treating other people well and caring about them and you'll have greater self-esteem as a result.  All these other things are secondary, and if you still feel a sense of self-loathing, then you need to recognize that your perceptions about yourself are misguided and not worth believing.