New Member Here

[RavenQuill]

Hi, I'm new here.

I joined last night when I was feeling particularly lonely. I'm 52 years old with two children who are grown and on their own. I have one grandchild with another on the way. I've just recently moved into the basement of my daughter's house which she bought with her boyfriend. My daughter is working out West, so I don't see her. My son and grandson are living a 3 1/2 hour drive away from me, so I don't see them too often. This is partially the reason I tend to feel lonely and suffer from periodic bouts of depression.

I've been divorced for 28 years and while raising my children had no social life. Now in my aging years, I find myself alone and lacking in social skills. I am a very friendly person and well liked by many, but I don't know how to allow myself to get close to anyone.

I have given myself some social goals to help me overcome my challenges, and I know it will take some time. I am being patient with myself.

Hugs to all,
Raven

 

[Jilted John]

Firstly Welcome Raven Quill!
Secondly,you are 52,I would call that verging on middle age,not in your ageing years!
But I know how it feels when you've brought kids up on your own,watched them grow up, and push off,and then feel sort of redundant,and excess to requirements.But you're not! It is now your! time. You've done all right stuff,so get out there and do some wrong stuff.Life owes ya!

 

[RavenQuill]

Thanks Jilted John, I quite agree with you that this is my time. Oh and you're right, I shouldn't have said "aging years"; I really don't feel that old yet. And for the permission to go out and do some "wrong" stuff (*smiling brightly*), I thank you for that too

 

[I'm Fine]

Hi Raven, I see you've been very busy posting here - including some very lovely poetry. Am I right in thinking you said that you are published? Seems like you've been keeping yourself busy and doing something wonderful with your time. Good for you.

I hope that talking to us, here, will help you develop your social skills (which I suspect are merely dusty rather than lacking) and before you know it you'll be telling us your tales of the exciting life you're now leading (and making the rest of us incredibly jealous).

Good luck and Take care.

 

[Peter Lorre]

Welcome Raven Enjoy your stay!

 

[RavenQuill]

Thank you "I'm Fine", you made me smile.

Thank you Peter Lorre, I'm enjoying myself already

Raven

 

[I'm Fine]

Thank you "I'm Fine", you made me smile.

Raven

I did? Yay me!

 

[Cicero]

Hi Raven, and welcome.

I am new also. I can relate to what you say about social skills. I did not get married till I was 32, largely because I felt so inept in that department.

I'll pass on what I often read in 'advice columns', which in retrospect I now realize is the way I met my wife: don't worry about "meeting someone". Instead, get involved in activities you enjoy, so you will naturally meet like minded people. Do you like reading? Join a book discussion. Playing cards? A card group. In my case, I joined a Bible study group, with no intention of "meeting" someone there (in fact, I was going to be relocating to another city in a few months.) But by joining such a group, I naturally met people with whom I had some things in common, and the conversations among us flowed naturally as well. And one of those people ended up marrying me!

Whatever your interests are, try to find a way to act on those interests with other people.You will be making friends with common interests, and you will be developing those social skills while having fun.

I bet there are online forums where people post and discuss their poetry. You could also take a poetry writing class at a local college, and share and discuss poetry with others who like to write.

And.....I realize I have lived up to a stereotype here: guys can't help giving advice, when perhaps a woman was not seeking advice and just wanted empathy. If that's the case......go back to the beginning of this post, and stop reading after the second line!

 

[RavenQuill]

Hi Raven, and welcome.

I am new also. I can relate to what you say about social skills. I did not get married till I was 32, largely because I felt so inept in that department.

I'll pass on what I often read in 'advice columns', which in retrospect I now realize is the way I met my wife: don't worry about "meeting someone". Instead, get involved in activities you enjoy, so you will naturally meet like minded people. Do you like reading? Join a book discussion. Playing cards? A card group. In my case, I joined a Bible study group, with no intention of "meeting" someone there (in fact, I was going to be relocating to another city in a few months.) But by joining such a group, I naturally met people with whom I had some things in common, and the conversations among us flowed naturally as well. And one of those people ended up marrying me!

Whatever your interests are, try to find a way to act on those interests with other people.You will be making friends with common interests, and you will be developing those social skills while having fun.

I bet there are online forums where people post and discuss their poetry. You could also take a poetry writing class at a local college, and share and discuss poetry with others who like to write.

And.....I realize I have lived up to a stereotype here: guys can't help giving advice, when perhaps a woman was not seeking advice and just wanted empathy. If that's the case......go back to the beginning of this post, and stop reading after the second line!

LOL.....thanks Cicero for your sensible and appreciated advice. And welcome to A Lonely Life Forum. I'm glad for you that you found someone to marry. I have been pursuing my interests. I am working 4 jobs right now, with very little free time, but there is a poetry group I once belonged to that I will sign up for again. Also there is a Rock and Mineral club that I've been looking into joining (I collect and study rocks, and run a Rock Club at the school where I work).

Enjoy your stay here. I look to bump into you on other posts.