New to relationships, need practical advice.

[manwithhat2]

Hi! I'm new here, first of all. I came here from /r/foreveralone and I am excited to enter a forum with one sole topic; about being lonely.

Not sure if it matters, but here is my stance at the moment. I've lived a very "boring" life, my father left when I was really young for domestic violence and I live with my old mother, which coincidentally had me when she was about 43, and has several health problems meaning we never got to do anything together. Never really had any friends that I can trust or rely on, except one that lives roughly 100 miles away from me. Never participated in any sports, and I do practically nothing in my free time except look at the internet. I've also always been alone, and I don't really know why. I'm just "that" kid that nobody knows much about. I turned 16 a couple months ago.

Anyways, this girl invited me to one of her small christian groups (by the way, i'm agnostic). Of course I said yes, also coincidentally this is the girl I've had a thing for a while now. I get my license in a couple of months, June 12th (assuming I pass the driving part) to be exact, and I feel like this is the perfect opportunity for me to see what I can do within a relationship. She has been very nice to me, and I have done my best to do the same for her. My problem is that I can't maintain a long conversation, making that uncomfortable silence inbetween.

How can I get over this predicament about maintaining a chat? And am I in a bad situation to even try to "make a move"? I hope this all wasn't too vague!

Thanks for reading, and I hope you all welcome me with open arms!

 

[whispers]

Welcome, i think you will like it here.

Keeping up a conversation isnt always that important, its the connection that counts. me and my daughter had a talk about it the other day, and we both agreed that our best friends are those with who we dont feel any pressure for doing something. With these people we are just confortable in their presence and sometimes dont talk for hours. Maybe just go for a walk with her and enjoy the scenery, or watch a movie.

 

[fuzzybutt]

Well being agnostic and joining her group shouldn't be a problem as long as you aren't an asshat about your beliefs. Listen to them. Be polite. Don't talk about your beliefs too much. Keep them to yourself.

But if you find yourself taking too much slack for not being a believer, let them know.

As for keeping conversations going, sometimes you have to say whatever's on your mind. If you want to start a conversation think about the things you read on the internet. An interesting article or a youtube video. As long as it isn't stupid memes or inside jokes on a forum.

That's the advance stuff. The basics is to ask her how her day was or talk about your surroundings wherever you're with her somewhere. Whatever you're interested in knowing, just ask. Don't over do it though with sexual question or crap like that.

And remember, relax. You're only 16. No pressure to find yourself a girlfriend for the sake of having one.

 

[manwithhat2]

Well being agnostic and joining her group shouldn't be a problem as long as you aren't an asshat about your beliefs. Listen to them. Be polite. Don't talk about your beliefs too much. Keep them to yourself.

But if you find yourself taking too much slack for not being a believer, let them know.

As for keeping conversations going, sometimes you have to say whatever's on your mind. If you want to start a conversation think about the things you read on the internet. An interesting article or a youtube video. As long as it isn't stupid memes or inside jokes on a forum.

That's the advance stuff. The basics is to ask her how her day was or talk about your surroundings wherever you're with her somewhere. Whatever you're interested in knowing, just ask. Don't over do it though with sexual question or crap like that.

And remember, relax. You're only 16. No pressure to find yourself a girlfriend for the sake of having one.

Thanks. Just in reply to some of your statements, I try to respect their religion as much as possible, and try to ask simple things about it. About being only 16, I feel like I need to relieve my desire for a partner and this feels like one of my only outlets to try and do so. I was mostly looking for ways to make it more comfortable, but there's only a few ways to do it, and I see what you are getting at.

Again, thanks a bunch for letting me know your insight. Very much appreciated!

---

Welcome, i think you will like it here.

Keeping up a conversation isnt always that important, its the connection that counts. me and my daughter had a talk about it the other day, and we both agreed that our best friends are those with who we dont feel any pressure for doing something. With these people we are just confortable in their presence and sometimes dont talk for hours. Maybe just go for a walk with her and enjoy the scenery, or watch a movie.

Thanks! It's not easy being comfortable with someone you hardly know, though. I do see where you are coming from, it's just tough getting to that state of mind. Anyways, i'm glad i'm welcome, even if it's only from you haha!

 

[LoneKiller]

Don't Try Too Hard.

 

[Ak5]

Hey, welcome aboard!

Make the move dude. Do it! Girls love guys with initiative. She invited you, so that's a very good sign as well.

Talk about whatever you feel is right. Invite her to eat something, and talk about each other's lives, about the group, school, what you did that day, anything. My favorite phrase for starting conversations is: "Hey, how you doing?". It has opened the doors for every conversation I have, works all the time.

Good luck man.

 

[manwithhat2]

Hey, welcome aboard!

Make the move dude. Do it! Girls love guys with initiative. She invited you, so that's a very good sign as well.

Talk about whatever you feel is right. Invite her to eat something, and talk about each other's lives, about the group, school, what you did that day, anything. My favorite phrase for starting conversations is: "Hey, how you doing?". It has opened the doors for every conversation I have, works all the time.

Good luck man.

Thanks for the advice! Like I said though, I think it's better to hold off until I can drive independently.

---

Don't Try Too Hard.

Okay... Could I get some kind of further input there? Like what I could avoid? Very vague answer! Thanks for posting anyways, any contribution is better than no contribution!

 

[Ak5]

Good luck, I'm waiting for my license as well!

 

[manwithhat2]

Good luck, I'm waiting for my license as well!

Hiyoo! Good luck on the driving test, i've heard it's a lot easier than the permit test. Funny thing is, I did my permit test 4 times before I actually got it.