Nice guys finish last

[Jalmerk]

Hello.

A moth back in time, i still had a girlfriend. We had been together for over 2 years, but she finally had enough of me and left. She cheated on me, and changed completely as a person during the last month. I follow the "straight edge" lifestyle, which means i don't drink or smoke or do any drugs. That was a part of why she liked me in the first place, and she always kept going on and on about how horrible it would be if i ever started drinking, and on top of that she never trusted me, and always thought i was cheating on her. She started drinking and smoking, and hanging out with guys who treat her like honeysuckle, the kind of guys who see women as a sex object rather than a person. I loved this girl to death, and to see her transform like this just broke my heart right in two.

This was over a month ago, and after a few weeks i felt ok. But then i met the sweetest girl. A girl i had known from years back, but whom i handt seen for 5 years. She was one of the most beautiful women i had ever seen. And we became friends. I expressed my interest, and she brought out a new side of me, a sweet and loving side, which i always showed around her. But after a while, she ran off with some other guys, and has been doing this for a while, and even though she knows how i feel, she just doesnt seem to care.

I was walking to her apartment alone, heartbroken, when i realized how miserable i was. I was still in love with what my former girlfriend used to be, and i had fallen for a new sweet beautiful girl, who didnt care about me.

I broke down, and i cried. And now im feeling more miserable and more unhappy than ever before. Because i have no one to turn to. Sure i have friends, people i hang out with, but none of them really care about me. none of their lives would drastically change if i killed myself or something.
Don't get me wrong, I'm not suicidal, but if i was a weaker person i would be.

The feeling of someone you love betraying you, and finding out they don't really care, is the worst feeling in the entire world. I had my heart broken once, and once again just as i was trying to get back on my feet. I have no one to turn to, and no one who really cares for my wellbeing.

I'm just so terribly alone

 

[A new life]

Sometimes I think it's better if we don't burden our "friends" with troubles like this.
Some may even mean well but just can't handle the heavy stuff.
And unfortunately you can never take it back.
I've always wondered what it would be like to be able to unburden myself the
way that women seem so free to do with one another.

I've never had a brother-friend that was anything like you see on the screen,
(you know, someone who would help you through the lowest times in your life, and not run away)
Mostly what you get from other guys is "suck it up dude!"

Breathe in.
Breathe out.

Best of luck to you.

 

[AFrozenSoul]

I think you need some time to yourself friend. You are caught up in a whirlwind of emotions. Right after the girl I was with left me I tried to replace her immediately. That did not work out. Females are more in tune with emotions than we realize. If you are still in love with your ex, then your probably wrecked of sadness and desperation. No female wants to intimate with a guy who feels that way. If you mentioned you just broke up, and now suddenly you are really interested this new female might think you are just trying to replace your girlfriend with her as the seat warmer. You do not really want her you want to be loved.

Trust me I can relate, almost a year ago my... uhhh well I call her my ex... you know one of those "its complicated" situations... however for all intensive purposes we were a couple. She informed me that she was going to officially be with this guy she had been sleeping with, while sleeping with me. Anyway, I was crushed, I never knew what a word meant. Despite everything that happened, in the end she went back to him. Despite the fact that he was abusive and shared no interests with her. This was the final nail in the coffin.. or so I thought.

Much like you I thought I still loved her. However, right before I hung myself, I sat and reflected on why I was so depressed. I looked deep within. As much as I did love her, my sadness stemmed from my lack of confidence to replace her. Once I stripped away the fact that she was my type. She was a selfish, petty, self-hating, *****. She made it her mission to find any reason to bring herself down. She found anything she could to say I did not want her. In the end, I was only infatuated with her because of our sex life. Once she stopped sleeping with me the bullshit she normally did got REALLY annoying.

So why am I so depressed, I asked. Because I had no idea what I did to attract her nor what I did to get her to where she was. It was easy to say she was desperate. She had not been with anyone for six years. In the end, I was left with the materials but no idea how to use them. Once I realized this... well it was easy to get over her. She is scum, a.. uhhh woman-child... you know the female version of a man-child... she is 30 and still lives with her mom. :S Though I think I made it worse.. by getting her into anime and video games.

Anyway once I came to this realization my path became clear. I need to figure out this dating and getting laid thing. I am not saying that is what you need to do. That is what I need to do... I need to step out of the shadows and become the alpha male.

Anyway this has become rambling. I hope you can derive something helpful out of my rambling.

 

[Sci-Fi]

Let it all out dude, sometimes it's all you need to do to start the healing.

Mostly what you get from other guys is "suck it up dude!"

Not me, but yeah that happens a lot because most guys don't know how to deal with emotional things. We need to change the way of thinking and get guys in general to understand that it is okay to talk about our feelings. Of course only to a guy you can trust that won't call you a pussy or make fun of your dick falling off.

 

[sneha]

hey jalmerk,,u seem to be really nice ,honest and loving guy,,most gals look for such guy,,so dont worry,,there are loads of sweet gals out there who wud like u and wud want to marry you,dont loose hope,,just keep looking,,u will find a right partner for u,,and rem to respect women ,,and u wil be a magnet attracting gals..lolzz
cya take care,,keep writing

Hello.

A moth back in time, i still had a girlfriend. We had been together for over 2 years, but she finally had enough of me and left. She cheated on me, and changed completely as a person during the last month. I follow the "straight edge" lifestyle, which means i don't drink or smoke or do any drugs. That was a part of why she liked me in the first place, and she always kept going on and on about how horrible it would be if i ever started drinking, and on top of that she never trusted me, and always thought i was cheating on her. She started drinking and smoking, and hanging out with guys who treat her like honeysuckle, the kind of guys who see women as a sex object rather than a person. I loved this girl to death, and to see her transform like this just broke my heart right in two.

This was over a month ago, and after a few weeks i felt ok. But then i met the sweetest girl. A girl i had known from years back, but whom i handt seen for 5 years. She was one of the most beautiful women i had ever seen. And we became friends. I expressed my interest, and she brought out a new side of me, a sweet and loving side, which i always showed around her. But after a while, she ran off with some other guys, and has been doing this for a while, and even though she knows how i feel, she just doesnt seem to care.

I was walking to her apartment alone, heartbroken, when i realized how miserable i was. I was still in love with what my former girlfriend used to be, and i had fallen for a new sweet beautiful girl, who didnt care about me.

I broke down, and i cried. And now im feeling more miserable and more unhappy than ever before. Because i have no one to turn to. Sure i have friends, people i hang out with, but none of them really care about me. none of their lives would drastically change if i killed myself or something.
Don't get me wrong, I'm not suicidal, but if i was a weaker person i would be.

The feeling of someone you love betraying you, and finding out they don't really care, is the worst feeling in the entire world. I had my heart broken once, and once again just as i was trying to get back on my feet. I have no one to turn to, and no one who really cares for my wellbeing.

I'm just so terribly alone

 

[MrBurns]

Hello.

A moth back in time, i still had a girlfriend. We had been together for over 2 years, but she finally had enough of me and left. She cheated on me, and changed completely as a person during the last month. I follow the "straight edge" lifestyle, which means i don't drink or smoke or do any drugs. That was a part of why she liked me in the first place, and she always kept going on and on about how horrible it would be if i ever started drinking, and on top of that she never trusted me, and always thought i was cheating on her. She started drinking and smoking, and hanging out with guys who treat her like honeysuckle, the kind of guys who see women as a sex object rather than a person. I loved this girl to death, and to see her transform like this just broke my heart right in two.

This was over a month ago, and after a few weeks i felt ok. But then i met the sweetest girl. A girl i had known from years back, but whom i handt seen for 5 years. She was one of the most beautiful women i had ever seen. And we became friends. I expressed my interest, and she brought out a new side of me, a sweet and loving side, which i always showed around her. But after a while, she ran off with some other guys, and has been doing this for a while, and even though she knows how i feel, she just doesnt seem to care.

I was walking to her apartment alone, heartbroken, when i realized how miserable i was. I was still in love with what my former girlfriend used to be, and i had fallen for a new sweet beautiful girl, who didnt care about me.

I broke down, and i cried. And now im feeling more miserable and more unhappy than ever before. Because i have no one to turn to. Sure i have friends, people i hang out with, but none of them really care about me. none of their lives would drastically change if i killed myself or something.
Don't get me wrong, I'm not suicidal, but if i was a weaker person i would be.

The feeling of someone you love betraying you, and finding out they don't really care, is the worst feeling in the entire world. I had my heart broken once, and once again just as i was trying to get back on my feet. I have no one to turn to, and no one who really cares for my wellbeing.

I'm just so terribly alone

Does this kind of post not piss off the real lonely people? This ''I'm just so terribly alone'' pissed me off after you have just said you have many friends and have had plenty of girlfriends in your time.

Cruel to be kind OP, you are NOT lonely.

 

[kamya]

^The feeling of being lonely is subjective, as are all other emotions and feelings.

I'm sorry you are feeling this way. It is best not to try to jump into a new relationship after a breakup. Its a red flag for most people and is probably why the new girl didn't stick around. You mentioned she didn't seem to care even though you told her your feelings. Its because she can tell your emotions are messed up right now and it would be stupid for her to trust you. No one wants to be someone's rebound.

Give yourself some time to get completely over your ex before trying to date again. Its more fair for everyone and it prevents problems, like the ones you have right now, from happening.

 

[A new life]

MrBurns said:
"Does this kind of post not piss off the real lonely people?
This ''I'm just so terribly alone'' pissed me off after you have just said you have many friends and have had plenty of girlfriends in your time."

Yeah, I know what you mean.
When you're drowning in loneliness, and have been forever it seems.
It's hard hear someone complain about their troubles,
and all the while you're wishing you had it that good.

Oh yeah. Believe me. I get it.

 

[AFrozenSoul]

Does this kind of post not piss off the real lonely people? This ''I'm just so terribly alone'' pissed me off after you have just said you have many friends and have had plenty of girlfriends in your time.

Cruel to be kind OP, you are NOT lonely.

Loneliness is an abstract concept. He just has something you want. In the end he is being rejected and gets to watch all these girls use him as an emotional blanket. That sounds pretty lonely to me.