No light at the end of the tunnel

[matt4]

Does anyone ever get to that point where they feel there is no light at the end of the tunnel??

I feel there is no end to my loneliness and it will end with me. Other times I'm more positive and working to do things about it. I'm in the process of using meetup.com for the first time to make friends. I write a personal blog but I'd rather not write about my personal and mental issues there as family do read it (my mum).

Who gets this feeling?

 

[mslonely]

All the time but I've recently become an optimist & strongly believe there IS light at the end of the tunnel, no matter how long the tunnel. Patience is key!

 

[Peaches]

I think a LOT of people get these feelings. For me the way out is to keep doing things, trying to go out, meeting people, in spite of this hopelessness, because I read many times that this feeling *could* be an illness or just a trick of the mind, and it would be a pity, losing all the pretty things out there in the world because of a trick of the mind.
It could also very well be that this IS the end of the tunnel, but what if it isn't?
I am not an optimist, I just doubt all things.

Very best of luck for your meetup experience, I hope you find groups with regular meetings and that it works for you.

 

[ladyforsaken]

To be honest, I don't see that much light at the end of my tunnel at the moment. How do I deal? I try not to look for the light and be comfortable in this pitch dark tunnel. Perhaps I'll find my way out, perhaps not.. only one way to find out: by keeping going.

 

[AmytheTemperamental]

I haven't seen light in a long time. I have to learn to light that fire for myself

 

[there is no hope]

I don't really go for the tunnel metaphor. Life isn't a tunnel - it's a wide open space.

 

[Gamerball77]

Hiya. Just over six years ago I went through a heavy time of depression, I had never felt such loneliness (even in a room full of people), the hopelessness felt more than I can bear. I didn't want to stay in the house because I felt cut off from every other soul, but I didn't want to leave the house because I would see people getting on with their lives, families having fun, couples together. I felt there was nowhere for me to go. The only way I got through it is like what other folks have said, just keep going and don't give up.

Something happened to me this year similar to what set me off six years ago, but I have not been effected by it not nearly as half as bad. I've focus my view point to look on things differently. I'm watching what thoughts enter my head and if they are not positive or uplifting I dismiss them. I said to someone at work who knows my situation the I'm being annoyingly cheerful on purpose. I found it's working and keeping depression at bay. Feels a bit like a balancing act to be honest.

I'm also pushing myself to talk to people more, I'll greet colleagues (who I don't know) who I pass by at work. In the street I'll smile at people mostly women, but not in a creepy over the top way, just a slight smile. Some just ignore me but others have smiled back (which is very uplifting). On a morning walking to work I'll say good morning to people I pass and they reply. I don't do it often but whenever I get the bus I always get a day ticket so you can get on any bus to any place as many times as you want for that day. Once I'm done with the ticket I make a purpose of going past bus stops to give it to someone else. I always aim for women (again )
and politely greet them, explain about the ticket and that I don't need it anymore and would they like it to save some cash. Some already have tickets but they still grateful. Someone always takes it in the end, and I always refuse any money offered for it.

I have found myself being as helpful and cheerful to people, more than normal. I find it helps to keep the darkness out. I would say that helping others is one of the best painkillers for a grieving heart. That's just my experience and where I'm at.

 

[Chiipy]

Married with no intimacy. What do you do. It is literally killing me

 

[constant stranger]

Years ago I decided to give up hoping for happiness ('cause I was never gonna get it) and settle for a lukewarm, low energy contentment level instead....not really living in a dark tunnel, more of a twilight kind of thing....but not anticipating any light at the end of it either. So I wouldn't be disappointed by never getting there.

Boy what a mistake! Now my youth is long gone, I'm middle aged and looking at old age right around the corner....and I can't get those years back.

OK, if you're still young, do not surrender to the darkness! If you lose sight of the light at the end of the tunnel, take it on faith that it's still there and keep on keepin' on!

 

[SixtiesSamantha]

I have struggled with being lonely here and there throughout my life but recently it has been getting to the unbearable point for me. During those dark times, spending hours and hours alone, it really does feel like it will never let go of my heart.

I talk to God and cry or yell or whatever I gotta do to let it out. I know not everybody feels the same as I do about God, Jesus, etc but I will tell you that praying has always helped me to feel less alone.

If that isn't your cup o' tea though, I will say that the only other thing that helps me is thinking of a project I'm working on or going online to find a bargain on eBay (I know it sounds silly)... I force myself to have something to look forward to. I also drink a lot and that is NOT something I will encourage on here but it is my own way of getting through the really really crippling times.

My cats help a lot too, I think that they must get lonely too when I go to work... but I am the world to them and I try to fully concentrate on how important I am to them.

I guess the one thought that I always end up repeating to myself is, "You truly do NOT know what the future holds for you. You just don't. Find something to make you smile even a little bit right now and get through one more day."

 

[BeyondShy]

Does anyone ever get to that point where they feel there is no light at the end of the tunnel??

No.

 

[TheWalkingDead]

I've been there many times. There wasn't always light at the end of the tunnel, but there was always change of some kind. I've been in a tunnel recently and fortunately I've somehow learned from previous escapes from it that there's always a possibility of something at the end of the tunnel and our minds aren't very good at seeing it sometimes. Sometimes experience means I can even bust a few peep holes through the tunnel wall to see that it's actaully surrounded by light if it only I could find a way I see it - sometimes you have to exit the tunnel stage left another way than the obvious!

Sometimes, as LF said, the tunnel is dark and there is no way out. Then you have to somehow learn to live with its dark interior for a while. I know that's a hard thing to do, we feel we should move towards that light, that we should be bathed in it, but sometimes we just have t make friends with the darkness for a while, as best we can, to survive.