No one wants to commit anymore

[Paraiyar]

Coming from a culture that still uses arranged marriages. I'm not even on the point of considering any philosophy that doesn't take into account human nature.

Arranged marriages is a tradition we deeply accept and follow. And showing disrespect to my culture and traditions without understanding it is hurtful: ATLEAST personally to me.

I wish arranged marriages were the thing here. So much simpler and logical.

How is it more logical? It takes away the right to find love on your own, and in a lot of cases love at at all. And if I'm not mistaken, I do believe domestic violence is more common in arranged marriages than those not arranged.

If that is indeed the case then that might be more to do with other cultural norms in countries where arranged marriage is popular than arranged marriage itself.

 

[Menorahman]

Poor humans, filling their minds with a virtual space and then wondering why life is no longer satisfying.

 

[van0994]

Maybe you need a change where you are looking for or stop and wait? im not sure but it isint easy today to have anything serious because people are either scared of being hurt or they don't want to give in and become a better person.

 

[van0994]

cause men see women as sandwich-making sex dolls and broodmares, dontcha know.

so true...most of them anyways... 95% at least

 

[WallflowerGirl83]

I've always been the kind of person to want to commit with someone and just be with a person in general who I love. At one point a person chatted with me and he was mostly focused on sex and just wanted a "fling." This is something I simply don't get at all. If people want to do that in their own personal time that's fine, I want something more though. Don't like one night stands and I doubt that I ever will. Anytime a guy tells me he doesn't want a serious relationship if I'm dating them, I end up telling them this isn't what I'm looking for and I wish them nothing but the best in life. "Hey it was nice dating you and getting to know you, but I'm looking for a serious relationship." I think a lot of people also can be scared of serious relationships because they were once hurt by someone in the past or got cheated on. There's also others who didn't solve emotional problems from their past or are simply depressed. They would rather not get involved with someone because they're afraid of being a burden on someone, simply giving up on love or simply don't want the drama in their life. These are just some of the reasons that I've heard from people who I've spoken too. Than there's people who just want to simply sleep with a lot of people and love to party.

Cabin Fever: The Party Cop "[font=Roboto, arial, sans-serif]Go inside have yourself a nice big 40... Just party"[/font]

 

[van0994]

I agree but at some point you haft to take a chance or end up being alone, because everyone has been hurt or is scared to be.

 

[WallflowerGirl83]

I agree but at some point you haft to take a chance or end up being alone, because everyone has been hurt or is scared to be.

I'm not scared to take a chance. I just haven't found the right man yet.

 

[van0994]

Oh okay then! Only time will tell, plus i think each relationship you have with someone, helps to get to know you better and what you actually want in a relationship, it's a learning experience.

 

[kamya]

Oh okay then! Only time will tell, plus i think each relationship you have with someone, helps to get to know you better and what you actually want in a relationship, it's a learning experience.

A luxury many of us don't have sadly.

 

[van0994]

Why do you say that?

 

[kamya]

Because not everyone can just fall into new relationships whenever they feel like it and learn from them over and over again.

 

[Serenia]

^ True.

 

[ardour]

Stating the obvious: Lack of experience is a self-limiting condition that, along with not being particularly attractive, means we can't just choose to be in relationships like a lot of people.

You have to have something the opposite sex wants.

 

[TheSkaFish]

Not only that, but there has to be someone available that you actually want to date. I could be the coolest, most successful, most interesting guy in the world right now, but if everyone I want is taken and/or they think i'm a loser because I made a bad impression because I didn't know what to do, then there isn't any action I can take, other than to fill the void with someone I don't want to commit to because they are all that is left rather than someone I actually want to get to know, thus becoming part of the problem myself.

 

[Paraiyar]

Messed up quotation. See comment below:

 

[Paraiyar]

Not only that, but there has to be someone available that you actually want to date. I could be the coolest, most successful, most interesting guy in the world right now, but if everyone I want is taken and/or they think i'm a loser because I made a bad impression because I didn't know what to do, then there isn't any action I can take, other than to fill the void with someone I don't want to commit to because they are all that is left rather than someone I actually want to get to know, thus becoming part of the problem myself.

Dude, I have to say it: This comment is crazy on multiple levels: If you were the most successful and coolest guy on the planet then you aren't going to come across as loser because you'd have the skills not to make a bad impression. I'm not exactly sure how you'd qualify being the 'most successful' guy in the world but I'm pretty sure this would be implicit for most people.

Secondly, assuming you were this person who could more-or-less have his pick of women, it's just ridiculous to say that everyone you want would be taken. There are what, roughly 3.5 billion women on the planet? Even if you're only interested in certain races, it would still leave you with millions to choose from. There is just no way in that scenario that you could even come close to running out of a supply of suitable girls, not unless you've pedestalized about 4 of them out of the 3.5 billion of them which is what you seem to have done, based on many of your other posts. I really hope that you snap out of this before your 30s are over and realize that these 4 girls weren't so special that their won't be millions more that are just as good.

 

[van0994]

lol that's not what i meant...i only had two relationship but ive learned a lot on dates! or other people. Nothing is easy. Sometimes you have to think what your doing wrong and not the other way around and try out new ways of doing stuf or just that you haven't met right person yet.

 

[kamya]

lol that's not what i meant...i only had two relationship but ive learned a lot on dates! or other people. Nothing is easy. Sometimes you  have to think what your doing wrong and not the other way around and try out new ways of doing stuf or just that you haven't met right person yet.

If you asked anyone that knows me "thinking about what im doing wrong" is something im constantly trying to figure out. Its actually becoming a problem because it makes me second guess everything and im constantly being self aware in my head trying to figure it out.  

Some of us just dont seem to ever make the cut. You can keep improving yourself and becoming a better person for youself but its ridiculous that some people are expected to have everything sorted and have no issues before being deemed relationship worthy, while pretty much everyone else seems to get a pass on their problems.

In the end its always my fault somehow. Can we just accept that some people are just not really wanted that way by anyone?

And the "havnt met the right person yet" and "youll find someone some day" statements literally do nothing. They mean nothing. They are empty statements. The sentiment is nice but really it means nothing. Just something you say when you want to try to be positive but dont have anything real to say.

 

[van0994]

Maybe you are right and i don't have much to say but since you are over thinking maybe you shoud go with it and stop overthinking it? go out of your confort zone...start by going somewhere and talk to a girl it would help. I don't claime to have all the awnser either im just trying to cheer you up for what it's wroth im not succeding at all. I think it's better to stay positif, it's work but if you are up for it it might help. It doesint really matter what you say to a girl just starting somewhere is a good start. If there not into it move on there will be someone that will be, we can't please everyone.

 

[Restless soul]

Not only that, but there has to be someone available that you actually want to date.  I could be the coolest, most successful, most interesting guy in the world right now, but if everyone I want is taken and/or they think i'm a loser because I made a bad impression because I didn't know what to do, then there isn't any action I can take, other than to fill the void with someone I don't want to commit to because they are all that is left rather than someone I actually want to get to know, thus becoming part of the problem myself.

Dude, I have to say it: This comment is crazy on multiple levels: If you were the most successful and coolest guy on the planet then you aren't going to come across as loser because you'd have the skills not to make a bad impression. I'm not exactly sure how you'd qualify being the 'most successful' guy in the world but I'm pretty sure this would be implicit for most people.

Secondly, assuming you were this person who could more-or-less have his pick of women, it's just ridiculous to say that everyone you want would be taken. There are what, roughly 3.5 billion women on the planet? Even if you're only interested in certain races, it would still leave you with millions to choose from. There is just no way in that scenario that you could even come close to running out of a supply of suitable girls, not unless you've pedestalized about 4 of them out of the 3.5 billion of them which is what you seem to have done, based on many of your other posts. I really hope that you snap out of this before your 30s are over and realize that these 4 girls weren't so special that their won't be millions more that are just as good.

That is a very optimistic viewpoint.