No one wants to commit anymore
- Thread starter hppnssseeker
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TheRealCallie
Princess Pink Love
Xpendable said:
Maybe for YOU, not for everyone
TheDude76
Well-known member
Xpendable said:
I'm going to agree to disagree.
I'm more of a 10% looks, 90% personality kinda guy. Looks will pique my interest, but a lot of "getting to know you" always follows that, for me. I know not everyone's the same like that.
Spend some more time with them and find out if you actually like them, rather than just wanting a relationship so badly, you dont care who it is. if you are attractive physically, work on your personality attractiveness, and be smart about who you see and im sure youll find a more compatible partner
I'm 99% personality to others so... We should also notice that personality is not something you can see in a picture for example. Looks are a bait, but if you don't have a way to show your personality to strangers, how do you expect them to approach you?
TheDude76
Well-known member
Xpendable said:
I think you really need to be involved in some group activity to be able to spend time with potentials. There's no way to advertise what kind of personality a person has, short of wearing a T-shirt or baseball cap with the Myers-Briggs letters sewn on.
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AmytheTemperamental
Guest
TheDude76 said:
I don't believe you can have a default expectation. Everyone you meet is going to have a different impact on your feelings. Men that I have been with have been different ranges of attraction, and it wasn't their looks that I noticed to begin with. Hell, when I met my husband, I had only seen pictures that were taken 2 years before. He looked very different when we met. Made no change to the feelings I had.
TheDude76 said:
I don't trust Myers-Briggs too much. I'm in some group activities I like, but those activities don't attract potentials, as you call them. I'm in two book clubs and tried to motivate some meetup groups too start their activities but they were closed for lack of interests. I'm actively trying to find a movie club or a philosophy club in my area but there's simply no interest in my age demographic (or any) for those things. That's my position, I was made to have reclusive interests. I've searched for forums or blogs where I can meet people but simply they don't exists in my city. Tried meetups that were closed and messaged girls on dating sites only to be ignored. Tried Interpals and love-shy, tried voluteering but I was rejected for not being a christian. Tried to get a job with more gender diversity or where I could interact with people but I don't get those jobs because I don't get the chance to have experience in them. I honestly don't know what else to do. I choosed a career with almost no females because it was my passion. Tried to join facebook groups but they have no activity either. I'm on a desert, it really feels like I'm on a limbo where everyone else moves in another direction.
I don't have looks on my side, but apparently no one is looking for someone like me in personality either, even when I try to show myself for what I am.
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AmytheTemperamental
Guest
^If my opinion counts, I think you are a pretty good looking guy.
TheDude76
Well-known member
Xpendable said:
I think you get right to the heart of the matter here. It seems back in the day, when people still talked to each other, there was an actual community that a person could be a part of. There are still lots of incredibly fun and interesting things to see and do in the world, but I think people of a certain age are so focused on relationships that they ignore everything else. I've been in tons of clubs, and the members are either much older (not a criticism, they seriously know how to live), or folks my age and younger who are married with families. Singles seem to disappear somehow. That, and people have such a tough time being entertained these days. They can't just enjoy regular pursuits... everything has to be EXTREME!!! Hell, I'd be thrilled to meet some folks to play a few hands of Cassino. It doesn't have to be all sky-diving and zip-lining...
ardour
Well known loser
Xpendable, maybe you could try activities that don't interest you quite much, and just go along with it for a while. Can't think of anything else.
ardour said:
Yes, I considered but I can't drive myself to be interested in other stuff. In the same way I can expect other people to be interested in my hobbies. It goes well on those clubs and get a good feedback for my stuff, I'm also doing well on grades. But I'm just not the guy who attracts many people of his own age to be in-tune with whatever he's feeling. I'm just "a guy" for the rest and for girls. It's and odd place to be in. Being able to get along with most people and have a good time in groups but I spark no romantic feelings whatsoever in anyone. Even when I can make people laugh, I'm educated, I'm honest, I have respect for others; I can talk many subjects and I'm willing to help anyone with class. I go sometimes to drink with classmates and share good laughs in social media. Thos is basically why I have a hard time believing is all my fault. I know it sounds like I'n nissing sonething but i've honestly self-eveluated myself many times to see if I'm failing in some social aspect and I can find none. Maybe I'm just too shy or simply too bland. It truly baffles me why I'm off the radar for women.
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AmytheTemperamental
Guest
Xpendable said:
Then everybody is ugly.
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AmytheTemperamental
Guest
Well, I am glad that my opinion is my own. So while you claim angles, I claim you're good looking. And I won't change my mind.
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AmytheTemperamental
Guest
Xpendable said:
Good looking
