Yea, I know it was a huge mistake... Sometimes when I get into a depression it always goes to the regret of doing that and to the jealousy of my girlfriend.
Like... When I first had my major depression I told my EBF (ex-best friend, shortened for laziness) that I loved her. And ever since then (until my girlfriend and myself got really serious), every time I got into a depression those feelings would return. That is another reason I got scared and let her go.
And now I'm jealous of my girlfriend because she has that person that she can count on. And sometimes I'm scared that her BF will always come before me (she has told me she won't). She told me that I am second to her best friend, but only because she knows that there is a chance that I will leave her, and I won't be there for her and her BF will. I'm jealous of that because 1. she has a BF, and 2. she can do something I can't... and that is put someone in front of her/me. She is always my number 1 and always my priority, but I am not to her.