Not sure what to put as a title...

[Keo]

If I knew what was wrong, I'd think of a proper title... but it's sort of a mix of many things. So I guess if you feel like coming up with one for me that'd be great lol.

Anyways... as you can probably guess, this is based around loneliness. This might get a little wordy but this site exists for things like this right?

Lately.. I've been disappointed in society. Saying society in general would mean referring to the world.. and that's a bit much so I guess it's just the social world I'm in. But yeh, I'm sick of it. I don't show or tell anyone this, but it disgusts me. Because of this way of thinking, I've been feeling lonely. Lonely that no one could ever understand me or think like me.

All I hear about is alcohol, partying, clubs, gambling etc. I'm part of a social world.. but I secretly reject it. I don't tell them nor show any signs of it. I don't smoke, I don't drink, I don't gamble nor do I do drugs. I'm only 18 so I guess people can think that I'll go for one of them later, I'm pretty determined with my way of life atm, so that won't be changing any time soon. I don't look down on people who do those things, honestly I don't really care, I'll only care if I'm pestered to try one of those things, that's when I'll get ticked off.

Ok I'm getting a bit side tracked... back to the social world. My social world is... well... honeysuckle. I'm the only person who thinks like me... if that makes any sense. It makes me feel lonely.. like I'm the only person of my kind. I guess you could call me a boring person. Yes, that's right.. I'm a boring person. I refuse to go to clubs, or drink alcohol, or smoke, or gamble. All my friends do these things. I'm not asking for advice on if I should follow my friends, no no no. I'm already at the "they can do whatever the hell they want"-stage. I might seem like I don't get out much... but I think if I was part of different social world, I would go out heaps more. I understand that these people have been good to me, and I appreciate that, I really do.

But I need change.

I can't go to the places that they want to go because I don't enjoy them. I used to be at the stage where I didn't care as long as I'm with them. But ever since we all turned 18, all they care about is partying, clubbing, alcohol, and gambling. They've all changed... I'm the only one who hasn't. I want to remain true to myself.. I don't want to change myself just to fit in. They understand my 'way of life' and they respect my choices which is nice... but majority rules and I also understand I can't let my way of life stop them from having their fun. I don't know what to do anymore.

I'm a very heavy anime watcher, before I evenly spread my time between education, going out, and anime. But now there's been a lot less going out, so naturally, anime has become more. (If you ever want anime recommendations I'll be glad to help)

But yeh.. I'm lost atm. Are all social worlds like this?... I don't even know if I'll ever find a new one. Even if it consisted of a few people who are generally good natured. I don't have any social problems, so I guess I'm generally liked by most people. I just don't know if I should continue to stay in this social world that I dislike... because I'll never find another one or if I should try and find another one (how that would be done?.. no idea lol).

Either way, I'll still be lonely. Just one option has the risk of me being more lonely. I'm not super depressed that I wanna kill myself or anything. I'm just tired.. of everything. I'm not even looking for love or anything** all I want is a small group of friends who don't mind just chatting. Every time this happens in my social group.. it ALWAYS ends with "LETS GO CLUBBING" or "LETS GO FOR A DRIVE" =_=.

**[as a healthy male, it'd be kind of ignorant for me to say I'm not looking for love. I guess you can say... I'm not really keen on it or anything. My definition of 'love' is warmth, understanding and communication with a partner. So I guess you could call it a "life long friend who is female" lol. I'm not suffering from any problems in this area, this is just a note-thingy]


Sorry it was so long, it ended up being more of a rant. I just had to get things off my chest. This has all been bottled up for about a year now. So be grateful it's only this much lol. I kinda just spat all this out on the spot.. so it may get updated later. But this is all for now. Thank you for reading...

 

[Sci-Fi]

You remind me of me at your age. (I've always wanted to say that). I didn't and still don't drink, never did drugs, and don't smoke. That didn't stop me from hanging out with friends though, even if it was going to a bar or club. It got me out of the house and I got to spend time with people I liked or didn't mind being around. Sometimes you have to compromise but you don't have to compromise your morals. It might not be your thing anymore but it doesn't mean you have to stay in every night. Just go out once in awhile and enjoy the company. Believe me when you get to my age you'll look back and miss those days, and if you don't enjoy them now you'll look back and miss out on even more. I was always the DD, and best even you get free drinks!

 

[Tiina63]

Your friends sound like nice people. They are not pressurising you to join in and smoke and drink etc, but are accepting you and respecting you. Maybe you could, as Sci-Fi suggests, go out with them at least now and then, but also be on the lookout for new friends with similar interests to your own. That way you get the best of both worlds.

 

[Keo]

Yeh.. I guess that means I should be doing whatever I've been doing lol. But 'new' friends.... seems so impossible right now. I feel like its too late to form strong bonds with people. I have considered going to uhh.. 'places of interest' and such... but then I can't help but think, what if I don't meet anyone?.. I'll just be wasting time. So yeh, lack of motivation is also at hand.

 

[The Good Citizen]

I agree with the other posters, you should hang in there with your friends, the bonds you make at at that time of life can be life long. Being 18 they will be out clubbing and drinking as its a normal phase for most people but it does calm down over the next few years and a night out will become a more sat around chatting with friends experience once more. A bar can be a place to sit around and chat, it doesn't just have to be just a place to get wrecked.

So I wouldn't reject the social scene completely but stay true to yourself, I think over time you'll be an accomplished non-drinker who can get along with people without the need for a drink in your hand which will be a feather in your cap.

But what would be your ideal scenario, say someone could wave a magic wand and give you the social life you want right now, what would it involve? What would you do with your time?

 

[Keo]

My ideal scenario through magic huh?... my ideal scenario would spending peaceful days with people who are nice and talk about normal things... you know, things that don't involve the last hot chick they saw, or the last time they had a hangover. The people would have similar interests as me, so naturally the topics would be about things we like. That's about it. It might seem a bit too easy going, but you did say magic lol. It's kind of sad a simple scenario is nearly impossible to obtain... I guess you'd call it 'simplicity'. That's my ideal magical scenario... 'simplicity'. I find it more better to form ties with people over food than over a party... because if its over a party most of them don't even remember what happened so I feel like I'm wasting my time.

But yeh, for now I'll do as you guys have recommended for a couple of years... hopefully they all get bored with their phase and things will calm down but if it doesn't I'll probably reject this social world. Until then, I guess I'll have to find a balance between what I want and what other people want... also taking detour quests to find people. =_=

 

[Tiina63]

Yeh.. I guess that means I should be doing whatever I've been doing lol. But 'new' friends.... seems so impossible right now. I feel like its too late to form strong bonds with people. I have considered going to uhh.. 'places of interest' and such... but then I can't help but think, what if I don't meet anyone?.. I'll just be wasting time. So yeh, lack of motivation is also at hand.

It's never too late to form strong bonds. If you do go to 'places of interest' it is possible you may or may not meet anyone, but you will at least be giving it a try. Yo've got nothing to lose by trying.
I understand only too well lack of motivation. But sometimes you just have to give yourself a push to do something, otherwise your situation stays the same. I'm trying to push myself to do more. Sometimes I wonder why I am bothering and then I think that, if I don't, noone is going to come knocking at my door.