Numb from loneliness

[thalassa]

I just don't have any drive anymore, empty days of nothingness going by without any meaning.

Stuck by myself and when I'm not I am in a nightmare situation - there is just no solace.

I'm not just dreamning it - I literally have no one to turn to. I could scream but I have no strength after 11 years of this...

 

[Sci-Fi]

 

[thalassa]

Thank you.

 

[LoneKiller]

Hey thalassa.

I know that we don't know each other irl, but I'd be more than happy to lend an ear should you find yourself in need of a shoulder to cry on.

Have a pleasant day.

God Bless.
LK

 

[cumulus.james]

I just don't have any drive anymore, empty days of nothingness going by without any meaning.

Stuck by myself and when I'm not I am in a nightmare situation - there is just no solace.

I'm not just dreamning it - I literally have no one to turn to. I could scream but I have no strength after 11 years of this...

I'm feeling exactly the same. Got no advice for you, if I had any answers I would not be so alone also so Ill shut up!

 

[annik]

I can completely relate to this. Though I'm not sure what to say in terms of advice. I like to find silly little ways to keep myself happy. I find the more I reach out upset the less I find and the worse I feel. I get desolate some days and they turn to weeks. So I turn to myself instead. I guess its only a temporary fix but at least I have a few hours away from the feeling.

 

[cumulus.james]

The answer is to all go to London for a big hug then take over and live in an empty building.

 

[Ak5]

Hope you're feeling better, there is always hope.

Good luck

 

[thalassa]

Thanks for the replies.

I am not my own friend - I know that's bad, but I just can't keep myself company or be pleased with myself. So much has happened in my life to crush these feelings of security and comfort. When there isn't anyone else, I just feel dead inside. The ones that are usually in my life though are the wrong types of people and I can never get emotional food from them. Just tons of toxic waste... Then I walk out and feel so bad - always this cycle!

 

[DudeIAm]

I know how you feel, thalassa. The way I deal with it is to do something I enjoy. It won't get rid of the emptiness completely but it will take your mind off it for a while.

 

[cumulus.james]

Thanks for the replies.

I am not my own friend - I know that's bad, but I just can't keep myself company or be pleased with myself. So much has happened in my life to crush these feelings of security and comfort. When there isn't anyone else, I just feel dead inside. The ones that are usually in my life though are the wrong types of people and I can never get emotional food from them. Just tons of toxic waste... Then I walk out and feel so bad - always this cycle!

I'm with you. But what your experiencing is clinical depression all the same.

 

[gnome3]

It's a tough thing - loneliness. Just how to deal with it is not as simple to one as another. Lately, I've been watching re-runs of "The Waltons" on the tele. How ridiculous, isn't it? I don't know why, but it helps a little. I do have 2 cats that like to lay on either side of me, but they don't say much. Tonight, I go back to work, and there will be people all around, but it really doesn't help, and I'll still be lonely to some degree. I think I'll heat up a slice of apple pie, and watch another episode of The Waltons. Then, I'll take a nap for a few hours before I leave for work. lol!

 

[kinzeUK]

"I am not my own friend - I know that's bad, but I just can't keep myself company or be pleased with myself. So much has happened in my life to crush these feelings of security and comfort."

Hun, believe me when I say I can REALLY relate and understand where you are coming from there. My story is a bit long winded and to be brutally honest, it takes all my energy just to be able to type but I will say that I'm suffering through a severe depressive slump again (as always, magnified 10 x by the fact it's xmas) and I'm on a self imposed 'cut-off'. That is to say, I've deliberately cut off any communication with my friends, deactivated my facebook page etc. I did this about 7 weeks ago. I just feel so completely numb inside and the worst part is I just don't want to speak to anyone not whilst I'm like this. I live with my parents as I lost my flat last year and they live in Shropshire and I'm originally from Essex. I won't bore you with my life story now it would take a while, but I know no one up here except for a friend of a friend who I met once and now she's going back out with her ex who apparently did her head in so much she split from him just weeks before (but clearly she want's more of that crap so go figure)

Anyways, I just joined last night and am going through some posts here; I've seen a few by you now and you clearly are sensitive and articulate and I'm sure quite intelligent too - I should know I can smell my own

TC for now

---

It's a tough thing - loneliness. Just how to deal with it is not as simple to one as another. Lately, I've been watching re-runs of "The Waltons" on the tele. How ridiculous, isn't it? I don't know why, but it helps a little. I do have 2 cats that like to lay on either side of me, but they don't say much. Tonight, I go back to work, and there will be people all around, but it really doesn't help, and I'll still be lonely to some degree. I think I'll heat up a slice of apple pie, and watch another episode of The Waltons. Then, I'll take a nap for a few hours before I leave for work. lol!

Heartwarming stuff - I have retreated back to the world of movies again (it's usually music above all *see my post in creative forum if you like) I love watching old movies as well as new and I've been seeking out romantic comedies and dramas that I haven't seen yet. It at least helps temporarily I think.

And speaking of old tv series, my favourite show of ALL TIME is The Twilight Zone. I have all 156 original episodes, watched the lot within a couple of months earlier this year. No beating that show, completely timeless brilliance