Lynx
Well-known member
I apologize beforehand if a post regarding this has already been made.
I have recently made the revelation that a lot of my social troubles, if not all of them, are the result of my own behavior, which is the manifestation of my perceived self-worthlessness. In reading a lot of the posts in this section, I can see that many of you here also have similar problems, which can lead to even worse, more socially destructive behaviors, like passive-aggressiveness.
My whole life I've been bullied and taken advantage of, because I never stood up for myself. I feel, and always have, that these people have the right to step over my (non-existent) boundaries because they are better than me, they are human and I am less than.
It's subtle, how this attitude affects all of my interactions, but other people will sense it and use it to their advantage. I avert my eyes. I keep my head down. I apologize when someone bumps into me. I do not feel offended when someone cuts in line, because I do not have the right.
"Shy" does not begin to cover it.
"Shy" is a socially polite euphemism for a problem that nobody knows how to fix.
Being aware of it has helped, but the belief in so ingrained within me that it will take a while for me to feel deserving of existence, and that I am allowed to be alive.
I have recently made the revelation that a lot of my social troubles, if not all of them, are the result of my own behavior, which is the manifestation of my perceived self-worthlessness. In reading a lot of the posts in this section, I can see that many of you here also have similar problems, which can lead to even worse, more socially destructive behaviors, like passive-aggressiveness.
My whole life I've been bullied and taken advantage of, because I never stood up for myself. I feel, and always have, that these people have the right to step over my (non-existent) boundaries because they are better than me, they are human and I am less than.
It's subtle, how this attitude affects all of my interactions, but other people will sense it and use it to their advantage. I avert my eyes. I keep my head down. I apologize when someone bumps into me. I do not feel offended when someone cuts in line, because I do not have the right.
"Shy" does not begin to cover it.
"Shy" is a socially polite euphemism for a problem that nobody knows how to fix.
Being aware of it has helped, but the belief in so ingrained within me that it will take a while for me to feel deserving of existence, and that I am allowed to be alive.