Online dating - When to meet up?

[Serenia]

Will update later on. I have had an explanation from him.

 

[Serenia]

He rang me the following night. He was very apologetic and the same as he always been. He explained why he had cancelled, which I won't go into in the public forum. It was his insecurities and he showed me what it was. He had wanted to tell me, but had not found the right moment and then he set off and panicked. So he cancelled. I told him how it had made me feel, what thoughts I had had. Part of it was the way he distanced himself over the weekend. He explained that he was just so upset and disappointed with himself.

So we have carried on talking and set a new date. This is his last chance, if he cancels again then I am done. I am not getting excited this time because of what happened, just going to look forward to a possible night out.

 

[SofiasMami]

I hope it works out for the best, Serenia! x

-Teresa

 

[Xpendable]

He rang me the following night. He was very apologetic and the same as he always been. He explained why he had cancelled, which I won't go into in the public forum. It was his insecurities and he showed me what it was. He had wanted to tell me, but had not found the right moment and then he set off and panicked. So he cancelled. I told him how it had made me feel, what thoughts I had had. Part of it was the way he distanced himself over the weekend. He explained that he was just so upset and disappointed with himself.

So we have carried on talking and set a new date. This is his last chance, if he cancels again then I am done. I am not getting excited this time because of what happened, just going to look forward to a possible night out.

Too bad that both issues don't help each other. I'm in no place to judge your ultimatum with him, even when his behavior seems to come from his own problems. It sounds as he didn't want to hurt you or upset you but coulnd't help it anyway. I hope things go well.

 

[Serenia]

He rang me the following night. He was very apologetic and the same as he always been. He explained why he had cancelled, which I won't go into in the public forum. It was his insecurities and he showed me what it was. He had wanted to tell me, but had not found the right moment and then he set off and panicked. So he cancelled. I told him how it had made me feel, what thoughts I had had. Part of it was the way he distanced himself over the weekend. He explained that he was just so upset and disappointed with himself.

So we have carried on talking and set a new date. This is his last chance, if he cancels again then I am done. I am not getting excited this time because of what happened, just going to look forward to a possible night out.

Too bad that both issues don't help each other. I'm in no place to judge your ultimatum with him, even when his behavior seems to come from his own problems. It sounds as he didn't want to hurt you or upset you but coulnd't help it anyway. I hope things go well.

The ulimatium, simply comes from not wanting to be walked over repeatedly. I believe he is sincere and I am understanding to a point. Another cancellation would be crushing, but what hurt more was the way he distanced himself from me straight away, so if he cancels again, that is enough for me. Thank you for your kind wishes.

 

[Serenia]

I hope it works out for the best, Serenia! x

-Teresa

Thanks Teresa x

 

[ABrokenMan]

He rang me the following night. He was very apologetic and the same as he always been. He explained why he had cancelled, which I won't go into in the public forum. It was his insecurities and he showed me what it was. He had wanted to tell me, but had not found the right moment and then he set off and panicked. So he cancelled. I told him how it had made me feel, what thoughts I had had. Part of it was the way he distanced himself over the weekend. He explained that he was just so upset and disappointed with himself.

So we have carried on talking and set a new date. This is his last chance, if he cancels again then I am done. I am not getting excited this time because of what happened, just going to look forward to a possible night out.

Too bad that both issues don't help each other. I'm in no place to judge your ultimatum with him, even when his behavior seems to come from his own problems. It sounds as he didn't want to hurt you or upset you but coulnd't help it anyway. I hope things go well.

If he doesn't have the capacity to cope with distancing due to his nervousness, or whatever, then he shouldn't be trying to initiate relationships that are anything more than casual friendships.

 

[IceCastles]

Best of luck! I (and I'm sure others) are all hoping for a happy update!

 

[ladyforsaken]

You got my bestest wishes. Keep strong as always, you. <3 *hugs*

 

[TheSkaFish]

He rang me the following night. He was very apologetic and the same as he always been. He explained why he had cancelled, which I won't go into in the public forum. It was his insecurities and he showed me what it was. He had wanted to tell me, but had not found the right moment and then he set off and panicked. So he cancelled. I told him how it had made me feel, what thoughts I had had. Part of it was the way he distanced himself over the weekend. He explained that he was just so upset and disappointed with himself.

So we have carried on talking and set a new date. This is his last chance, if he cancels again then I am done. I am not getting excited this time because of what happened, just going to look forward to a possible night out.

I hope you get that date and I hope it goes well. And good for you, Serenia, for being understanding enough to give him another chance when you certainly did not have to. That is nice of you

 

[TheSkaFish]

Will update later on.

I was just wondering how this was going for you, if you don't mind sharing? Haven't seen any updates on it for a while. I was hoping things were getting better for you about it

 

[handheart]

Well depens on the person you must gain trust ask for photos ,web camera etc to know good the person .Also be very careful when you meet online .

 

[Serenia]

It's all off, my decision. I am not in a good place right now and would be unfair to involve him in that. The way I feel right now it would not have gone well anyway, he would have been severely disappointed and repulsed by me.

 

[Cavey]

It's all off, my decision. I am not in a good place right now and would be unfair to involve him in that. The way I feel right now it would not have gone well anyway, he would have been severely disappointed and repulsed by me.

I'm sorry to hear that. Could you not have given him the benefit of the doubt and seen whether he could accept you the way you are? I know that there are people that have accepted me even though I have made it plainly clear to them just how messed up I am. I'm constantly amazed by it.

Please don't let all the stress grind you down.

 

[Paraiyar]

It's all off, my decision. I am not in a good place right now and would be unfair to involve him in that. The way I feel right now it would not have gone well anyway, he would have been severely disappointed and repulsed by me.

I get that it's your decision but at this rate would it not be better to just give it a go?

 

[Serenia]

It's all off, my decision. I am not in a good place right now and would be unfair to involve him in that. The way I feel right now it would not have gone well anyway, he would have been severely disappointed and repulsed by me.

I get that it's your decision but at this rate would it not be better to just give it a go?

You have no idea how much of a fragile state I am in. I have dependants and to keep them that way I need to focus on other things than dates.

 

[Serenia]

It's all off, my decision. I am not in a good place right now and would be unfair to involve him in that. The way I feel right now it would not have gone well anyway, he would have been severely disappointed and repulsed by me.

I'm sorry to hear that. Could you not have given him the benefit of the doubt and seen whether he could accept you the way you are? I know that there are people that have accepted me even though I have made it plainly clear to them just how messed up I am. I'm constantly amazed by it.

Please don't let all the stress grind you down.

Maybe he could accept me but the idea of going on a date when my life is like this is a joke.

 

[IceCastles]

It's all off, my decision. I am not in a good place right now and would be unfair to involve him in that. The way I feel right now it would not have gone well anyway, he would have been severely disappointed and repulsed by me.

I'm sorry to hear that. Could you not have given him the benefit of the doubt and seen whether he could accept you the way you are? I know that there are people that have accepted me even though I have made it plainly clear to them just how messed up I am. I'm constantly amazed by it.

Please don't let all the stress grind you down.

Maybe he could accept me but the idea of going on a date when my life is like this is a joke.

Aww I'm sorry things are hard right now...

I hope things will get better for you.

It's ok to not date. TBH, it is very stressful...I found myself often taking breaks before I felt better to try again.

 

[Serenia]

Well an update. I had told him my life was a real struggle and could not handle a date. He was nice about it kept in touch sparingly. Anyway just before when we would have been having the date he contacted me and said would I still like to go out. I asked my girlfriends for advice and they said I should go out, they helped me out with what I needed help with for the night.

So he cancelled twenty minutes before I was due to meet him. He had an excuse, and asked for a 3rd attempt. I said no, and after he has asked me a few more times I have ended it.

If he cared anything for me I would have been worth the effort.

Anyway end of story.

 

[SofiasMami]

If he cared anything for me I would have been worth the effort.

Anyway end of story.

Whoa, don't think to yourself that you weren't worth the effort - you put all that energy into getting ready to meet up with him and he flaked at the last second? He's a jerk and not worth YOUR effort.

Sorry to hear things went sideways, Serenia

-Teresa