Overstaying the interwebz

[Felix]

Hi guys. Maybe there are a couple of folks here who remember me, it's awkward to see that many "banned faces" around like LoneKiller for example who used to make ten posts every second a while ago...

I always thought it was weird to see so many people go in a rather uncivilized manner. Even my "see you later" wasn't very polite.

The main thing I wanna say is... this forum is both a blessing and a curse, in some cases, like mine for example. The forum and the internet. This virtual world you are seeing right now. You seek refuge here from all the pain and for all that you don't understand about yourselfand others. Outside becomes a frightening, hard-to-deal place.

Then, the other main thing I wanna say is, how you unplug yourself from this masturbatory ritual... Easy, the hardest path. Right now in this world people are mainly concerned with themselves, or haven't they always been? Who knows, in the end it doesn't matter that much for us now. When there is no one to turn to, the only option is an artificial intermediate reality called psychotherapy. It took me 8 years to come to this point. When I can actually feel again, when I'm not petrified by reality. I made a choice a while ago, a choice to leave this forum, then leave other internet websites slowly. It was the right choice for me at that time.

There is a better world, a better way to look at things and people are just people with your exact same emotions... You might bee out of tune... But really we're just the same. You can hide. It's even fun sometimes, but when you come out, look behind and see an "X" amount of years have gone by without any significant achievements, trust me, that doesn't feel good. I have a whole chunk bitten off my life, between my bullied adolescence and a cruel coming of age. There is a time to say "enough is enough".

I'm not gonna debate this... I'm just suggesting if you see you're going nowhere, get help - the more the better. I got help from homeopathy too. At least I'm fortunate enough to have parents who support me, I don't see a polite way of saying this... If you have the cash, find a good psychotherapist, do the therapy and deal with your honeysuckle (yes it has to be GOOD and HONEST, as every doctor, is not all the same). Take meds if you must, they can help if they're the right ones. It's not pretty. I go 3 times a week, still. I wanted to quit really bad this weekend, but I know I'm still not ready to leave or to even be participating in forums. They can be a little too magnetic, users get really attached to something that has become a parasite in their minds and so they bite it off in rude manners. That's why b& b& b&... It's part of the fun... Also a dark side to it.

So that's it. Tl;Dr;Try to not overstay just because you can

 

[thenameIwanthasgone]

I've been through 15 cans of lager this evening and I have tried to communicate with other lonely people but it's too slow here. I've forgotten much of what you said in your post because I'm really drunk. People are so intolerant even though they profess (claim?) to be lonely.

 

[Case]

Everyone comes here with an agenda.

Some come for answers. Others come to give them.
Some come to vent. Others come to encourage.
Some come to help, and some come to hinder.

The thing is, this is all relatively anonymous unless you reveal yourself. And being anonymous is a powerful draw for people who feel that they have no voice in their real lives. That's why online games are so popular. Why deal with my real life if I can be a soldier, a pilot, a wizard, a soccer player, or Super Mario? The Internet is a break from real life, but it can also anesthetize us from how to deal with real life.

I came here trying to figure out why I am lonely and to break the cycle of discomfort. I realized rather quickly that the last group of people qualified to help me get out of a lonely period is lonely people. Why? Because when we are mired in our own problems, we are in no shape to tell anyone else how to fix their own problems. Only someone who is detached, like a therapist, can see a patient's problems and offer concrete advice and solutions.

Now, I'm not saying that there is not worth in this forum. There is, or I wouldn't be here. People meet each other here, have fun, share their lives, seek solace, and if I ever need comfort for my loneliness, I know that the only people who can truly understand are the people in this forum.

But I am also a strong advocate of face-to-face therapy. Sometimes, all you need is a professional to see how you act and react to have them give you a workable solution. It's not always meds, either. But if it is, you have everything to gain and very little to lose in taking professional advice.

I just wish my real world life were more active and my online life were less impersonal.

 

[Rainbows]

I've been through 15 cans of lager this evening and I have tried to communicate with other lonely people but it's too slow here. I've forgotten much of what you said in your post because I'm really drunk. People are so intolerant even though they profess (claim?) to be lonely.

Alors.. Je t'attends dans chat!
We're not slow in chat, come say hi.

 

[Ymir]

Meh. I am going to therapy and all my therapist says is "ain't got no fixing gotta live with it m8"

I don't think EVERYONE who hangs around here a lot is petrified by reality. I for one have to no problems with it. Just don't like my current circumstances...

 

[Case]

Meh. I am going to therapy and all my therapist says is "ain't got no fixing gotta live with it m8"

Sounds like you need therapist-replacement surgery.

 

[My War]

Although I am new here I have been around all sorts of forums for about 7 years now and they all have one thing in common, they tend to be cliques, if you get on the wrong side of the clique they hunt you down and keep harassing you until you leave or you keep defending yourself until they ban you because to them your defense is considered to be "harassment" or "aggressive" behaviour.

Quite often these cliques are led by Mods or senior members who abuse their positions.

To me this is one reason why forums are dying, this one is actually fairly active compared to many I have seen lately where days can go by without any posts at all. Even if you aren't the victim of the unfair treatment you can see others being treated badly and that obviously stops you from posting yourself or returning to the site.

I was a member of IMDB for a while, a movie site, what could go wrong?! The amount of trolls on there who purposely post rubbish to start fights or piss people off and the site is largely unmoderated and they run amok, so left that one as well.

Overall as we know the net isn't a great place to try and be social.

 

[Batman55]

Although I am new here I have been around all sorts of forums for about 7 years now and they all have one thing in common, they tend to be cliques, if you get on the wrong side of the clique they hunt you down and keep harassing you until you leave or you keep defending yourself until they ban you because to them your defense is considered to be "harassment" or "aggressive" behaviour.

And how. I was recently the victim of this childish behavior.

 

[TheSkaFish]

Sometimes I wonder if I haven't stayed too long on the Internet myself. I came to it, both the Internet and here, in search of information. I'd say I've accumulated a lot, but I'd also say that I've spent more time accumulating information than applying it. And sometimes, I've noticed - while a vent might be cathartic sometimes, the more you vent the more you just passively accept a problem versus just sitting down and working out the solution.

 

[johnny196775]

the internet has been a disaster for me. I believe i might have ptsd regarding an internet incident.

 

[Tealeaf]

The Internet is a good supplement, but a lot of people turn to it expecting more than a random assortment of people scattered across the world can give. I'm on a few forums where people do tend to turn for advice from everything to self-improvement to the threat of homelessness to relationship issues, and while there has been some benefit it's still up to the individual in the end. It's only words of encouragement or information.

I've made a few good friends over the years, and between that and some of the feedback it's been a fantastic help. Still not going to whisk away depression, bipolar, or anything else.

Atmospheres vary, too. I'm more comfortable on some forums than others.