Passing the days...

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M

MiKeY

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So I've been feeling like all I'm doing is passing the time as it ticks away. Once a day I check the mail and hope to hear something from a job for which I've applied. It's a rather lonely existence being unemployed and looking for work. I've no one really to talk to, as my acquaintances with whom I'd normally talk/hangout are busy with their jobs and lives. I just moved back home, and even though I know people here, I'm no longer a regular part of their daily lives... I've become an afterthought.

So what do I do? I wake up, eat, look for jobs online, spend too much time in the chat room and on IM, and hope for some distraction to keep me from going absolutely bat honeysuckle crazy.

When I do have a social engagement, it's more or less an opportunity to get away from the loneliness I've come to know as normal. Do you as a reader ever feel like your life is loneliness, and the things you do are just minor distractions to get your mind off of it?

I hate just existing... I want to live. I want to feel like I used to feel... perky, upbeat, with a sense of purpose. Maybe when I get a job I'll feel better; this is just an awful situation, and I'm a victim of a rough American economy.
 
know what you mean Mikey


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MiKeY said:
Do you as a reader ever feel like your life is loneliness, and the things you do are just minor distractions to get your mind off of it?

yup. not just loneliness, though. i feel like my life is just pain and heart break and i have to become a zombie just to function. but i try not to think about it much because what's the point in thinking about it.
 
Yup it feels like being locked up. And you kinda feel like you can't change it :/
 
MiKeY said:
So I've been feeling like all I'm doing is passing the time as it ticks away.

I hear you. When I'm having a bad spell, I get to thinking that ever since I've birthed kids, for all intents and purposes, I am now just waiting to die, that my purpose of furthering my genetic line has been completed. Ugh.

MiKeY said:
So what do I do? I wake up, eat, look for jobs online, spend too much time in the chat room and on IM, and hope for some distraction to keep me from going absolutely bat honeysuckle crazy.

My advice is to find a passion. Mine happen to be artistic: writing and painting. These are more than just a mindless distraction, I can really throw myself into them, and the act of creating is very healing. These particular activities allow for a lot of introspection which is a double-edged sword for anyone who's predisposed to depression IMO, but I think that they've helped me grow more than hurt me.


MiKeY said:
I hate just existing... I want to live. I want to feel like I used to feel... perky, upbeat, with a sense of purpose. Maybe when I get a job I'll feel better; this is just an awful situation, and I'm a victim of a rough American economy.


I really understand and identify with this feeling. Perhaps a job will help.
 
Thank you all for your replies... I'm feeling much better now that I got a job! I just needed something to open up so that I'd feel purposeful again, and I do now that I'm starting work soon. I hope I never again feel the way I did when I wrote that post.
 

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