Problem!!!

[Angelight]

Things went to hell again!! Stupid **** ex screwed me over. She lures me in by promising to help me make friends and eventually get a lover because she knows that I'm very very lonely and depressed but then she brags about all the good things that happen to her and she ends up ditching me to go enjoy her happy little **** life. **** her! Here's what happened, I was texting her while listening to my music like usual. Just chilling. Then she slapped me hard by telling me she's gonna go on a date with her bf on Halloween when she was GOING to try to take me out walking around town and introduce me to some of her friends. Then she kept apologizing and I got pissed off and took off my headphones only to hear my mother and my uncle getting into a bloody fight. It was after hearing that I missed out on everything basically, my uncle got extremely mad at my mom and slapped her and made her run into the bathroom. Then telling my ex this because she wanted to know what was going on, she started said how sorry she was and that she didn't know. I snapped. Once my parents were gone I started cutting and clawing at my wrists in fury and let that ***** of an ex know exactly what I was doing to make her feel guilty for dumping all this honeysuckle on me constantly and all the trauma she put me through finally screwed me over. I even sent her pictures! She started crying and called me but I didn't want to hear any of her crap so I hung up. Right now it's a day later and she doesn't even want to talk to me, she'd rather be talking to that stupid bf of hers. Meanwhile I'm debating on whether or not to keep ripping up flesh out of hate and fury. I can't take this honeysuckle anymore!! This shouldn't be happening to me!! Now she thinks I'm psychotic which I basically am thanks to all the crap that stupid girl put me through. All it took was this fight between my parents to set me over the edge. I pin most of the blame though on the ex though, the one person that was SUPPOSED to be helping me, not screwing me over!! Now I'm on a vengeance mission, I'm trying to weed out every single way I can destroy her life. Anything at all will work, I've already started by letting her feel ever so guilty about the treatment she's been giving me. So now that all is said and done and the blood's been spilt, should I go get help or let myself wander even further into madness so that this little screw up of her's can haunt her forever?

 

[IgnoredOne]

Stop relying on other people, especially people who have proven unreliable in the past. Blaming others is silly, it is you to made the choice to keep trusting her too, and she hasn't done anything that horrible. Why is she supposed to help you? What obligation does she have for you? Nothing, zilch, zap.

Seriously.

Just cut her out of your life, as she's clearly not contributing to it in any healthy way. She sounds selfish and maybe confused, but not evil. There are better ways of using your energy. Move on with your life.

And get out of your home. You need somewhere peaceful to collect your mind. Try to find some source of funding and rent a room somewhere where its safe.

 

[shells]

It hurts to see a former lover move on. That is why it's wise to usually distance yourself. This gives you much-needed time to reflect, focus on yourself, and heal. Cut all contact and let go of this one.

If you choose to dive deeper into the madness, then you will be responsible for the consequences. The ways that this situation could escalate may become very serious and ugly.

Your ex also isn't responsible for helping you mold your life, even if she may have made promises to help you get out and meet people. It sucks that she didn't follow through, and you're allowed to be ticked off by it. However, self-destructing and going on a war-path over this is useless and you won't accomplish anything. She also isn't responsible for the chaos going on in your house. The more power you put in other people's hands to control your life, the more you set yourself up to get let down time and time again.

I am sorry for the environment that you are surrounded by at home... That would make me feel very helpless. Do things like that happen very often?

 

[Kat]

After a relationship ends, you must follow the no contact rule. Forget about her, she cares about herself. You should be the one caring about you.

 

[Badjedidude]

TEXTWALL.

It's kinda hard to read posts with no punctuation. Just... FYI. Might be easier for some to pay attention to your posts if you space things out into neat paragraphs and such.

 

[Angelight]

It hurts to see a former lover move on. That is why it's wise to usually distance yourself. This gives you much-needed time to reflect, focus on yourself, and heal. Cut all contact and let go of this one.

If you choose to dive deeper into the madness, then you will be responsible for the consequences. The ways that this situation could escalate may become very serious and ugly.

Your ex also isn't responsible for helping you mold your life, even if she may have made promises to help you get out and meet people. It sucks that she didn't follow through, and you're allowed to be ticked off by it. However, self-destructing and going on a war-path over this is useless and you won't accomplish anything. She also isn't responsible for the chaos going on in your house. The more power you put in other people's hands to control your life, the more you set yourself up to get let down time and time again.

I am sorry for the environment that you are surrounded by at home... That would make me feel very helpless. Do things like that happen very often?

She isn't responsible for the accident I had at home, but it's the tension. All this chaos built up, all the tension that's been building over the past months now, it hit the peak and I snapped. It was just too much to handle, but most of the tension built was from her. And not really, there usually isn't much violence here at home (there's barely any family at all here!!) but my mom is a plain out demon and she had it coming, I just didn't think my uncle would've snapped on her at a time like this...I really didn't need the extra tension that set me over the edge

 

[Kat]

You are riding out this roller coaster of emotions again and again. Even if she causes tension for you, you are responsible for the decisions you make. And if you know that she causes tension but you continue to contact her, then you are indirectly at fault. In almost all cases, it is impossible to stay in contact with people after a breakup. If talking to her hurts you, STOP. You should withhold absolutely all contact with her. Pretend that she no longer exists.

 

[shells]

Understandable that things get chaotic, emotions are intense, you reach your breaking point, etc.

However, I won't agree it is ever necessary for a guy to hit a woman. If she is wielding a knife and ready to shank you... Mayhaps. I am sorry that you have to be around that kind of environment. But, I sincerely hope you don't think that kind of behavior is acceptable. True men don't strike women.

I will agree with IgnoredOne on this -- you need to find a way to get out of the house more often and unleash those pent up energies. Self-destrucing may offer temporary relief and distraction, but does nothing constructive. It may even add more tension/stress to your problems later.

 

[Angelight]

Understandable that things get chaotic, emotions are intense, you reach your breaking point, etc.

However, I won't agree it is ever necessary for a guy to hit a woman. If she is wielding a knife and ready to shank you... Mayhaps. I am sorry that you have to be around that kind of environment. But, I sincerely hope you don't think that kind of behavior is acceptable. True men don't strike women.

I will agree with IgnoredOne on this -- you need to find a way to get out of the house more often and unleash those pent up energies. Self-destrucing may offer temporary relief and distraction, but does nothing constructive. It may even add more tension/stress to your problems later.

Really the whole "hitting" thing isn't what bugs me. It's that stupid ex. I don't know anything about women, I'll admit it, I'm NEVER EVER around them. I didn't have a single clue that she'd screw me over like this. All I know is that I'm not good with people and I don't get out much and she was offering to help fix that. I didn't think it would escalate. Yes, it is my fault, but I had no intention of it being my fault. I didn't think she'd do this to me! And I can't get out of the house! There's nothing out here!

 

[shells]

You can stop it from escalating further by cutting off all contact.

I am a firm believer that everything happens for a reason. We all have lessons to learn in life, and perhaps this is life telling you it's time to take control. Like others have said in this thread, you cannot depend on someone else to make things happen in your life. You can place blame all you wish, but the responsibility falls on you.

People will do things that will blindside you. Friends, family, and even those we hold close to our hearts, will disappoint you. It's inevitable and happens to everyone. You may not have control over them, but you have control over how you choose to react and carry yourself.

 

[IgnoredOne]

This isn't about 'women'. Men are going to disappoint you the same. Stop being so obsessively reliant on people.

Can you rely 100% on yourself? Can you know that you will, exactly at 8 hours sleep, and after 2 hours, stop playing a game?

No?

Then why do you expect others to be 100% consistent? We screw over ourselves plenty enough - expect that it'll happen from others even more so.

 

[Angelight]

This isn't about 'women'. Men are going to disappoint you the same. Stop being so obsessively reliant on people.

Can you rely 100% on yourself? Can you know that you will, exactly at 8 hours sleep, and after 2 hours, stop playing a game?

No?

Then why do you expect others to be 100% consistent? We screw over ourselves plenty enough - expect that it'll happen from others even more so.

I lack alot of self-confidence. I need alot of help to fix myself, cause I'm too weak to get it done myself. That's where I rely on good friends. I have about 4 good friends that do help me out when I need it. My ex was one of those people that WASNT any help. I thought she would be,and she wasn't. I try to make friends to help better myself, and this was a worse-case scenario.

 

[kamya]

You don't think you cutting yourself trying to manipulate others into feeling guilt for no reason was a bad thing? If you didn't want to hear her crap then why did you send her the pictures? She would rather talk to her bf because...he is her bf, and he probably doesn't pull honeysuckle like this. You are being a little vindictive *****. Get over yourself. If she doesn't want to be with you and she doesn't want to help you out then she doesn't have to. Deal with it. I repeat, get over yourself. Get some professional help.

 

[Angelight]

You don't think you cutting yourself trying to manipulate others into feeling guilt for no reason was a bad thing? If you didn't want to hear her crap then why did you send her the pictures? She would rather talk to her bf because...he is her bf, and he probably doesn't pull honeysuckle like this. You are being a little vindictive *****. Get over yourself. If she doesn't want to be with you and she doesn't want to help you out then she doesn't have to. Deal with it. I repeat, get over yourself. Get some professional help.

And you think that I'm totally at fault? If she would've stuck to her word instead of shoving it back into my face and maybe had been a little more supportive (she's SUPPOSED to be my friend) this wouldn't have been nearly as stressing. Seriously, if this is what a "friend" consists of then I might as well be antisocial again! She's the one that wanted friendship, so how was I to know she was going to shove it back in my face to the point of going psycho on her?

 

[theSmokingRabbit]

Quit being a hypocrite.


Friendship is not a one way street. She is not there for you to dump your woes on over and over like some sort of emotional punching bag whenever you feel like it.


Life isn't about what happens to you, it's how you react to what happens to you. And I wouldn't want to talk to you either with the way you're acting. Verbally harass people and that's what tends to happen.


Quit expecting more from others than yourself (especially since you're probably all teenagers). You are at fault, so learn how to deal with this honeysuckle now before you have to in the adult world where it can get much worse.

 

[Angelight]

Okay, I guess nobody here seems to understand the problem. I'm just going to forget about it and move on, because this isn't really helping. Nobody here seems to see the problem and I can't think of any way to explain this any further. Thanks for trying, but this isn't quite doing anything but putting my self-esteem down even further. Sorry for venting and sorry nobody understands.

 

[deathproxy666]

ok, here is the deal. stop beiing a god **** pussy and ******* move on with your life. grow a ******* pair of balls get a job get the hell out of there and get your own god **** life. all i hear is a bunch of crying and wanting others to feel sorry for you. grow the fresia up be a god **** man and move on. stop acting like a emo ***** and join the real world. i'm sorry, i'm not going to surger cote this. you need to hear how it is. stop feeling sorry for yourself, stop makeing others feel sorry for you and stop blameing others. if your not happy with your life then do something about it and be a GOD **** MAN!!!!!

 

[Angelight]

ok, here is the deal. stop beiing a god **** pussy and ******* move on with your life. grow a ******* pair of balls get a job get the hell out of there and get your own god **** life. all i hear is a bunch of crying and wanting others to feel sorry for you. grow the fresia up be a god **** man and move on. stop acting like a emo ***** and join the real world. i'm sorry, i'm not going to surger cote this. you need to hear how it is. stop feeling sorry for yourself, stop makeing others feel sorry for you and stop blameing others. if your not happy with your life then do something about it and be a GOD **** MAN!!!!!

Well that sure did make the situation better. Thanks for the "positive reinforcement". I already said I'm moving on from this. Seriously dude, no sense in that kind of hostility. I'll fix the problem myself. Honestly. That was seriously a little too harsh. I get the problem, I'll fix it. God. You need to calm yourself dude. That's going overboard If this is what people are like now on here than I'm just going to close my account cause this seriously isn't what this site used to be like. Those kind of comments aren't very helpful to an already hurt person.

 

[IgnoredOne]

Okay, I guess nobody here seems to understand the problem. I'm just going to forget about it and move on, because this isn't really helping. Nobody here seems to see the problem and I can't think of any way to explain this any further. Thanks for trying, but this isn't quite doing anything but putting my self-esteem down even further. Sorry for venting and sorry nobody understands.

We understand the problem, but we reject your conclusion as to the source of it. Having a low self-esteem sucks, trust me, I've been there and I know, but while friends help, ultimately it does have to come from yourself. You really need to stop expecting friends to essentially lift you up, because people will let you down. Period. There is no and, if, or but qualification to that.

Doesn't mean that they are evil or malicious, but it just is - this is why it is so important to be able to rely on yourself to a great extent.

 

[Ak5]

Primarily, I can see you have low self-esteem; I was a lot like this, but not to that extent. Secondly, you can't expect her to solve all your problems, only you can.

I think there is something deeper going on here, we can't help you. Let her go and try to figure things out by yourself, again, only you can solve your problems