Problem!!!

[Sci-Fi]

You did what to yourself to make your ex feel bad? Wow...that is just, pardon my language, but messed up. Your ex has no responsibility to you to help you find someone new. That's up to you to do, whether she made you a promise or not. She's your ex, move on. Seriously though, what you did to yourself and took pictures to send to her, that is just so messed up and wrong. That was very selfish of you to do no matter what it was about. She's your EX! You two are done, over, move on.

 

[Angelight]

Again, people are missing the point. Regardless, it doesn't matter. I've vented what I needed to, and feel better from it. The situation is resolved and my ex understands the mental pressure I've been put on and her and I are working together on the issue. I'm not expecting her to solve my problems!! That's what nobody is understanding, it's not about her solving my problems. The help, granted, is nice though. I'm not turning down a helping hand but she herself admitted that she should be more dedicated to her friends than herself. It's....I suppose alot longer of a situation than I put forth...either way, problem is getting solved and she's offered to refer me to other friends of hers for help too which I appreciate, for I do need serious help. Well, then again, that rage and fury has been building up for years so yeah....it was bound to be released in a bad way. Anyways, thanks for at least listening to my problem everyone. Just a bad time and a bad situation I suppose.

 

[Ak5]

Glad to hear its working out.

 

[Angelight]

Glad to hear its working out.

Yeah, alot better than it has been, just still can't believe that though, I seriously regret bottling up that rage pent up for so long, I'm just glad I got it out of my system...

 

[IgnoredOne]

The help, granted, is nice though. I'm not turning down a helping hand but she herself admitted that she should be more dedicated to her friends than herself.

But that is fundamentally wrong. No one should be more dedicated to anyone above themselves, as a basic rule. That falls basically into trying to please someone else above yourself and its going to be unhealthy sooner or later.

You're dodging understanding by redirecting and trying to indicate our lack of understanding, but you cannot avoid that fundamentally, your outlook is not going to be healthy. Yes, it was a bad day, yes, you can say that your actions that day were irrational and unhealthy. That's fine, if you acknowledge it, but you haven't. You're defending it, and then slipping into avoidance.

Own up to your mistakes, and replace harmful habits with healthier ones, please. That's all.

 

[Angelight]

The help, granted, is nice though. I'm not turning down a helping hand but she herself admitted that she should be more dedicated to her friends than herself.

But that is fundamentally wrong. No one should be more dedicated to anyone above themselves, as a basic rule. That falls basically into trying to please someone else above yourself and its going to be unhealthy sooner or later.

You're dodging understanding by redirecting and trying to indicate our lack of understanding, but you cannot avoid that fundamentally, your outlook is not going to be healthy. Yes, it was a bad day, yes, you can say that your actions that day were irrational and unhealthy. That's fine, if you acknowledge it, but you haven't. You're defending it, and then slipping into avoidance.

Own up to your mistakes, and replace harmful habits with healthier ones, please. That's all.

You make it sound like she's a slave to me or something. No, that's alot of what people aren't getting, this isn't a one way street dude. I help her as much as she helps me. That is what people aren't getting, she isn't and I repeat, ISNT, slaving away to me without purpose. This is what, apparently only around here, a friendship. Friends, around here, help each other physically, mentally, and emotionally. And seriously dude? Do you not think I realize my mistake? I do, and if people are going to say otherwise then that's their fault not mine. Seriously, everyone's thinking too hard about this and not addressing the now. The problem is getting fixed, everyone sees thier problems and are addressing them.End of story. Done.
P.S. I don't slice myself up ALL the **** time. this is the first time I've done it in I think about 4 months. And I've only done it three times so no it's not a habit, and all this was more or less a one time thing.

 

[IgnoredOne]

You make it sound like she's a slave to me or something. No, that's alot of what people aren't getting, this isn't a one way street dude. I help her as much as she helps me. That is what people aren't getting, she isn't and I repeat, ISNT, slaving away to me without purpose.

I have never said or implied that. My point is, and I will reiterate: the expectations that you have of her, and vice versa(if they exist), are unhealthy.

This is what, apparently only around here, a friendship. Friends, around here, help each other physically, mentally, and emotionally.

Not at the point where they sacrifice their own happiness, which is what it sounds like you /want/. Putting others ahead of yourself? Seriously, does that not sound like it is a recipe for dependency? Which part of self-willed independence figures into that?

A friend does not owe you anything, no matter what you might have done for him or her. And certainly neither you should put anyone ahead of yourself, nor vice versa.

And seriously dude? Do you not think I realize my mistake? I do, and if people are going to say otherwise then that's their fault not mine.

You are still getting defensive about it. Point is: you expect too much from people, to the point of unhealthiness.

You cannot expect people to put your welfare ahead of their own, your time ahead of their own, or your happiness ahead of their own.

If there is any 'social contract' of mutual gain, then it will be unspoken and should not require guilting. I think you well understanding my point about the importance of growing esteem from within, and dealing with issues WITHOUT relying on others(and certainly not by guilting others).

That is all.

I really dislike to say this, but 'man up'. You're exhibiting traits of passive aggressiveness, which is a lot of things, but it certainly is neither masculine nor efficient. You think that I'm wrong? Tell me to go fresia myself. You think that you made a mistake? Own up to it for real without trying to disseminate the blame. Seriously, take a stand and have courage in yourself. Your brain will thank you for it.

 

[Sci-Fi]

If you've done it before this isn't a one time thing. Stop fooling yourself, if it was a one time thing this would have been the only time you've harmed yourself. 4 months since the last time you did it isn't that long of a time. It is becoming a habit. You might not think it is now but who says in another 4 months from now you won't do it again.

We can only go on with what you have told us here, and pretty much everyone has the same impression. Don't tell us we don't understand, we understand fully with what you have shared. "Friendship" or not the kind of help you may need she may not be able to give you by introducing you to her other friends. You need to seek out professional help, that might sound mean but it's not. From what you've told us here it seems you really do need to see a professional. Not just you either, your mother and uncle as well.

 

[Angelight]

Fine fine, I'll suffer alone and say fresia the world. There, I said it. fresia society. I'll just live to myself and give up friends if I'm that **** dependant on them which I will say and say again, I'm not. No more people, no more society, no more family. Everyone can go die cause I'm done caring.

And if you all think I'm being too dependant on others, then why am I consantly being told to get professional help? Kinda hypocritical. I'm not going to rely on other people to fix my **** problems and it seems that I made a big mistake joining this forum if I'm being such a "pussy" and actually expecting people to even talk to me. I'll solve my own problems then, screw it.

And yes, I am messed up in the head, I do have a mentality issue, I have hundreds of bottled up emotions that can make me a horrible person, but it's all thanks to people. I only have 3 friends, and now I'm gonna give em all up because apparently I don't belong in society. I'm a ******* loon that deserves nothing more than to be kept away from people for good. Honest to God truth.

 

[IgnoredOne]

Taking things to extremes is not a realistic way to handle life, and yes, I am trying to help. I haven't condemned you at all, and everything I've said has been based on my own life and how I've recovered from a long period of depression.

We've never said that its wrong to seek help. It is, however, unwise and unhealthy to become completely dependent on others for a large part of your self-esteem. To give you an analogy, its not wrong to use a hammer as a tool to drive in a nail; it is unhealthy when you begin to feel that the same hammer is something to depend on for /everything/. I hope, at least, to never have to eat a hammer-made cake

Likewise, it can be very useful to seek help from a professional because they are specialized in the knowledge that may be useful. Its like if you are seeking to learn math - it is probably more useful to seek to learn from a teacher, because speaking as a teacher myself, we have training and experience on how to convey information in the speediest and hopefully most efficient manner. Could you also look for a friend to learn math from? Of course, to an extent, but it'll be less fast, and possibly quite a bit more error prone.

Ultimately, yes, we seek assistance from others but we need to build our mental fortitude ourselves. The analogy I've most used for myself, mentally, is that of a fortress. My mind is my fortress, a strength designed to endure the shocks of the outside world. What builds the fortress are many things, including friends but they are only part of a whole. In the end, it comes down to my mind, my fortress, and my bastion of serenity and peace.

Once you have this fortress, you can extend your reserves and abilities to help people. As it is now, you're often hurting the people you care about, and yes, yourself. Do you really want that? Wouldn't you rather to be able to consistently help others and yourself?